are you HAPPY now??

This post has been sitting there in the "Drafts" section for over a year now. I was confused about the topic when I started writing it. I think I've finally had the closure to write it completely. Enjoy!!

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If you ever face a life or death situation, and if in such a situation, if the chances of you surviving depends on correctly identifying the being in front of you as human or not, by asking it just one question, ask it,

"Are you satisfied with your life?"

If the answer is NO, then its human.

Of course, you could have asked it "Are you human?" and got a straight forward answer, but then this example won't help me prove the basic point I'm trying to make. This is on top of the fact that we are ignoring one of the most basic, universal traits in humans - the tendency to not say the truth.

But we are digressing. I intended to let you see the point that us humans are never satisfied with what we have. I had always thought so, but over the past few weeks, I got more examples depicting this and defecting from this.

Here I give you the three kinds of Humans, according to me.

** I have not used any name for the characters here. These are my close friends. I don't want to unnecessarily drag them into this topic. Whatever levels of apparent satisfaction I derive for them from their actions are arbitrary, and only for giving you an example. I'm not advocating that their actions are good or bad. **

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The Go-Getter

This friend of mine comes from my own college, has worked at a reputed company, did an MBA from a distinguished college and is now working for huge bucks at another reputed company. Each of those four achievements would have individually ticked off the ambitions of many an individual. But this person goes one step ahead and is now preparing for the administrative services.

That's all you need to know about that person. Now, consider a person in a category like this. With each subsequent step, they try to go one up. Their drive has to be acknowledged and appreciated, but I have a nagging feeling that if you continue in this trend, you'll never be satisfied with what you've achieved. And as long as you are not satisfied, you may not be happy. Do note that I'm working on a lot of ifs, buts and maybes; and that it might be the case that this person wanted to be an IAS officer from a young age, but had to go through this route for some reason.

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The Happy-go-Lucky

And there are people who do not know what they want from life, but are comfortable enough to let destiny/fate dictate the terms in which they live their lives. They would like to try different things, but are too lazy to do so. They are the sort of people who would start their reply with a "ehhh.." if you ask them what they want to be doing in 5 years.

Nothing much to say about these kind of people. External forces, call it Fate/Destiny/Peer or Parental Pressure, decides their life for them. I was one among them, then I changed to the next type in the series.

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The Content Man

There is this other friend of mine from college. He first decided to work; then decided to try his hand at the GATE for an M.Tech degree; then decided to bell the CAT for an MBA degree; finally cursed the Indian reservation system, and moved on to try his hand at GRE for an MS degree. He applied at many colleges and for their related scholarships. It was at this moment that he got a call for an interview from a reputed government organization, based on IES exam he had cleared nearly two years before.

And, against his current dream, he aced the interview, much to the comfort of his ego. Two months after he joined there, he got an admission with scholarship offer from a German university, which was his dream 3 months before.

And then, he decided not to go for his dream. His reasons were “The new work is okay. People are impressed that I work here. My friends are here, family is near. I know my dream is doing an MS, but then I’m doing good over here. Why change? Even if I want I can go next year.” And he made a decision to stay at his job for at least one more year in June 2013.

But now, he would be reading this post from Germany, where he is acing his classes for his M.S. degree. He felt he was being more "Happy-go-Lucky" in sticking to his job here. He wanted to be the content man. So, he took the "Leap of Faith" in July 2013 by going for his MS degree.

Now, think about this guy. Due to a multitude of reasons (none his own), he kept changing his dreams because he wasn’t able to achieve the one before. But he always had an aim - in this person's case, to study. That's the hallmark of a content man. He has an aim. And he strives only to achieve that.

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Now you have seen the three categories of people - one who keeps chasing dream after dream; another who has an aim and goes for it; and another kind, who'll just go along with the flow.

Everyone will go through being each of those at a different points in their life. Like that person I mentioned above, you'll always have a choice to change from one to another. And what you do with that choice, coupled with your circumstances that define the choice, will determine how happy you are with your life.

So, which kind are you know? The go-getter, the content man or the happy-go-lucky guy? And which kind do you want to be?

If you ask me the latter question, the answer would be The Content Man.

I've grown tired of doing what life tells me to do, but I don't want to live my life chasing one dream after another. I want to have an aim in my life, and I want to stop answering to "where do you want to be in 5 years?" with a "ehh..".

And more than anything, I want to achieve that aim - the aim of being a content man.

The scions of Kamsa

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This was the preface to last week's "5 things" series. This is being re-posted because it made a rather strong case for reaching a conclusion. Hence, I've added my final thoughts on this subject at the end of this post.

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How would you rate a super villain?

Of course, you can rate him on a multitude of factors, that are entirely dependent on your arbitrary considerations. You can rate him based on the number of super powers he has; on the use and extent to which he is able to use them; on the number of people he has killed, his sense (or lack of it); on his ingenuity; on his cruelty; on his dressing; on the power of his anti-villain; and much more.

But like I said before, this is all arbitrary. And there is nothing more confusing than the state of being able to compare something to anything. It was to solve this basic conundrum that our recent forefathers decided to standardize the basic units of measurements, based on naturally occurring phenomenons. They had had enough of their forefathers telling them to measure length by the width of the king's palm, or the length of some unknown limb.

So, as you can see, we need to standardize our estimation for rating a super villain. And to make this easy, let me suggest to you a simple method. Let us see how the villain reacts to having to kill a baby.

To kill a baby would require the individual to be devoid of any sense of humanity. The most evil of the evil men we know have committed this crime. You want names?? How about Kamsa and Voldemort ??If you are saying that they are mythological/fictional, please bear with me for a few more paragraphs till I make my main point.

Try to remember the times when you watched NatGeo or Animal Planet. There, you had super slow-mo shots of the wild animals in their natural glory in the wilderness of Africa. You saw the lion chasing the buffalo, and you were amazed by the speed and tactics employed by the hunter to ensnare its prey. At this moment, the hunt happening on the screen enraptured you.

But what if the same lion was chasing a calf, instead of a buffalo. On whose side will you be on now?
I hope you answer rightly to that question.

And I don't think I have to explain why this act is such a heinous crime. A baby is the quintessence of innocence and naivety. He doesn't know right from wrong, and would have committed no act of consequence as of then. For me, to kill a baby would be the worst thing a person could do.

How many of you would believe me blindly if I said that this act is rampant in this world? You might have to think about this for a second or two, but remember that the acts of abortion is basically killing a baby, even before he/she has come into this world.

According to statistics available, about 80+ abortions take place per minute worldwide. In India, there is the special case of female foeticide, where pre-natal sex determination (which is banned) is used to abort female foetus. It is believed that over 500,000 girls are being lost annually through sex-selective abortions.


If we consider Kamsa, a mythological character in a negative fashion, because he tried to kill a new born child in a myth; if we consider Voldemort, a fictional character as a fiend, because he tried to kill a new born child in a story; then my dear friend what would you call a real person who actually does this act in real life??

Now you must be wondering why am I saying all this over here??

Because I can't stop someone somewhere from carrying out this act. My audience is you. All I hoped for from this post is to be able to show you how cruel this act is. And if possible, convince you to spread this notion on to anyone who might be thinking about abortion, so that we can save an innocent child's life.

...and another one fades away...

I've lost quite a few friends to external factors in the past year.. I lost one to his girlfriend, I lost one to marriage, I lost another to a government job, etc etc.. Right now, one is going to follow his dreams and the another one is off to Germany for higher studies..

If I were a musician, the rate at which I'm losing friends might have compelled me to write a song about friendship..

If I were the harisa of five years ago, he would have made a video with a sad song and group photos..

But this is the harisa of now.. And he can only write about it..

If you have watched enough movie award nights, and had paid attention to more than just the length of that actress's dress, you must be familiar with the concept of the "Special jury award". That award is given to that movie which was better than the rest, but not good enough to be the best.. A runner up, if you would like to call it so..

I try to be a friend like that.. You can't be the best friend of anyone you meet, but you can be a better friend to anyone.. It is to that end that I always strive for.. But that is not to say that I am irreplaceable to them or they are irreplaceable to me...

In these days of degenerating decencies, aided ably by the drive of egoistic individuals to excel at all costs, the fibers of friendships in the corporate world are made out of needs rather than goodwill. And the relationship stays non-sour as long as the needs of the two entities match.

I know I run the risk of looking like a douche bag for my rather objective way of analyzing the act of friendship. But please refrain from taking that view on my opinion. What I intent to put across to you is that the beginning of most friendship are based on needs. The need to find a roof over your head, the need to go out for a movie, the need to play a game of FIFA on your laptop, the need to cook something delicious, the need to have a good time, etc etc.

Such needs bring together strangers, and their combined experience determine if they remain so, or become friends. Every friend I've made have been made like this. And I'm pretty sure that if you are willing to look at it from a different perspective, you'll find that you've done the same too.

But when such a friend moves away, you will definitely wallow in sorrow for a time, and then realize that you can always make a new friend. That is one ugly truth in life. You are replacing the time you spent with your old friend with your new one. So, when I said that no one is irreplaceable, I meant that you will be replacing the time spent with the old friend, with the time spent with the new friend.

So what about the old friend? He/she was an integral part of you for a certain period of time, and you are always thankful to them for the changes they bought about in you. They might have left your immediate neighborhood, but you'll always try to keep in touch. And you would always be willing to welcome back.

In the end, the purport of this whole post is that, I'm saying my goodbyes and best wishes to a few more friends who'll be leaving my company for pastures anew. And, like any one of you, I'm on the lookout for a new friend, to whom I can be a better friend.