Weddings Happen too (5 things - Week 56)

Well, as per the reports, and the pictures, that I was able to gather, the Wedding last week went off great. And the after effects have begun to present themselves. Within a day of the wedding, both the culprits were found to have changed their profile pics in Facebook to the SAME PICTURE. I'm not saying that it is a crime, but I never expected them to become this single-minded so soon.

I was actually planning to award them the 'Least irritating Happy Couple I know' rolling trophy, but just because of this act, they will have to share the trophy with it's previous owners - Mr. and Mrs. Gulf. I think the story of my first meeting with the Gulf family warrants a separate post, and hopefully that'll find its place here soon.

Anyways, here's something for both the happy couples.

Talking of happy couples and weddings, there seems to a lot of that when I open my facebook page these days. Engagement notifications, marriage invitations, 'in a relationship' statuses are aplenty these days. And it is to be expected at the very least. Afterall, the average age of my friends will be around 25 years old. As per convention and/or tradition, that's the soon-to-past-prime-age for girls and the soon-to-hit-prime-age for the guys.

But in between all this, the most interesting thing is something else entirely. As perfectly explained in the above image from TWISTEDDOODLES, I can only think of them as they were, when I last interacted with them. And that varies from last week to last decade. That would be at a time when they could be called immature. And marriage is said to be the institution which pushes you into the realm of maturity.

This is the period in their lives when they are supposed to change from being the young, unbridled guy, laughing at typos and fart jokes; to the serious, calculated mature person, who talks about news and other boring stuff. This is the period in their lives when they are supposed to change from being the gal on the lookout for earrings which match with the design on her sandals, to the one who smiles and treats the guests at their home to delicious delicacies, while talking about the latest development in that serial they all watch.

And so, you won't be surprised if I find it more than amusing at how these friends of mine will handle the added responsibility of being a spouse. For this week's post, we'll go through a few special characteristics of those immature friends from the past, who are already at/on the cusp of something wonderful.

***

1. Immaturity

First up is the one thing they must say goodbye to as soon as possible. If, in an unfortunate turn of events, their spouse had also forgotten to say goodbye to this malaise, then it creates unnecessary tensions at home. Maturity, here in such a situation, will be the ability to accept the immaturity of the other, understanding that it is only so, cos of them being impetuous. Maturity here will be the act of trying to help the other get away from their immature behaviour.

2. Patience

More than showing patience for their spouse, their reserves of patience would be severely tested after they have kids. I've seen enough examples already. But I guess that is not something they've to think about so early in their married life.

3. Craziness

Don't confuse this with immaturity. Being immature is not a choice. It's a part of the journey of life. It's only by being immature that people understand the value of being mature in their life. But being crazy is a choice. You know what you are about to say/do is not sane, but you still go through with it. And it's the transformation of the truly crazy ones among my friends, which has left me baffled.

4. Chalu/Poor Joke

Come on. Tell me that you have one friend, who hasn't, in all of their life, cracked a poor joke, or as we Keralites lovingly call it, CHALU. And these friends of mine will have to bid goodbye to this part of their life.

5. Personal Space

There are people out their who value their personal space way too much than required (YES I MEANT YOU!). And I'm extremely eager to find out how they will react to having someone with them 24/7.

***

On top of all these, there are tons and tons of things you have to get along with and find a common ground for. In the wise words that Mr.Gulf shared with me,

"In Marriage, everything is a potential problem. From the amount of sugar in the tea to the speed of the fan in the bedroom. It's all about adjusting and adapting. And the best thing is when you see your other, accommodate for you too."

***

Before I sign off today, I've a little request. And before that request, I would like to thank you for reading and promoting last week's post so avidly that it broke into the Top 5. But even as ironic as it seems, I didn't like that, only because of one reason. The post it replaced in the Top 5 was the 'THE LAST POST'. Those of you who have read it must know the emotional attachment I have to that post. It was the way a grandson found closure after his grandfather passed away suddenly.

I've gone on record many times saying that it is the best prose that I'll ever write. And my request to you, in case you haven't read it, is to read it once more, and allow me the guilty, satisfying pleasure of having it back in the Top 5 here also.

Here's the link to that post.

http://husemeplz.blogspot.com/2011/06/last-wish.html

Well, that's it for this week.

Hope you all have a great weekend.

'til next week.

Accidents Happen (5 things - Week 55)

Accidents are unexpected. Ask my neighbour who was in one this week. He was making his usual 0 to 60 kmph sprint in the 50m long road on his Honda Activa. The accident came at an unexpected moment from an unexpected car turning in from the other end. Needless to say, his vehicle had a collision with that car. This accident had a very painful ending for him.

But not all accidents are painful. Take true love for an example. A good friend of mine defined it as such, while we were discussing the probability of the existence of true love,

'True love is never going to happen at first sight. It is something which happens to you - at the most unexpected moment, from the most unexpected source.'

From this definition, you could almost say that true love is nothing, but an accident. It is always a coincidental meeting of two people's destinies.

Two of my good friends met in such an 'accident' nearly three years ago. And they are getting married to each other tomorrow.

If you had read the very first post in this series, "5 things I learned this week (Part 1)", for the point no.3 I had written...

"Did you know...

...that it is possible for Gabbar Singh and Phoolan Devi to have a relationship?

Gabbar Singh (fictional character from the legendary movie “Sholay”) and Phoolan (real life character from our crappy life) are well known protagonists of their own evil, wicked stories. Both are similar in most aspects of their life, are egoistic and would take any step necessary to win their own battle. This led me to think that they can’t be a couple (without having a counselor telling them to calm down every 5 minutes). Well, apparently, they can be a couple. And I’m happy for them. 

That was a personal rant, and if you didn’t understand it, please be pleased to know that the people it was meant for, understood it."

You don't have to be an ace crime solving sleuth to put two and two together here. The Gabbar Singh I was talking about was Mr.Alok M D, and the Phoolan Devi was none other than Ms. Ratika Chauhan. I wish them both a very happy, long, prosperous married life. I know that my absence at your wedding is the worst thing I could do to you people, but you both have still understood my situation. Thank you for that. :)

And "2 States" the movie couldn't have been released at a better time. The cross country cultural differences are aplenty and have been explained to death in various forums, so I won't be going into those again over here.

For the five things for this week, I can't figure out any sh*t to write about. Alok wanted me to write a post about him, but I think the best I could have written has already been written in "Thank God for Amnesia".

"

This summer has taken from me the one constant I've had here in the past three years. I've always said that he was the older brother I never wanted, but still, if you want me to make it look like the Batman dialogue - "He is not the brother you want; he is the brother you need."

After I've forced myself to change, I'll have to confront the reminders of good old times. Whenever I walk into MGF and hear that Black Eyed Peas song on the loop; whenever I see the infamous Lee Cooper Tshirt; whenever I feel like doing something stupid; whenever I feel like saying FUAH to someone; when I try to teach someone else the language of LLUMA; whenever I try yo make someone notice the chick near us by telling what o'clock she is to him; I'm gonna be reminded.

"

I guess I just recounted the main memories we had.

1. The vast expanse of MGF Metropolitan Mall and that Black Eyed Peas song.

2. My infamous Lee Cooper Tommy Hilfiger Tshirt.

3. Stupid things were aplenty. Like that day we went out for a walk in the park, got into a bus just cos I dared you to, and we ended up looking for a way back home from the Malls at 11pm.

4. All the acronyms we made up to help us curse each other faster.

5. The ingenious language of LLUMA by which we identified SLLUMA and SLAMU.. ;)

Through all those times you showed patience in not killing me with a single for all the stupid things I did and said; through all those times I had to drag you home drunk, we had a great time over there.

You've matured a lot since she came into your life, surpassing everything I thought you are capable of in life. You've both fought hard to make this happen and I know you both will keep fighting for it till the end of time.

Anna, I dedicate this post to you and your happiness. I hope she keeps driving you mad, and you keep on realizing why she was meant for you. 

***

***

That's it for this week.

You all have a great weekend.

'til next week.

The Special One (5 things - Year 1)

*** I believe you would have trouble viewing this on a mobile device. My apologies, if that is the case. Please do try and catch up on this post when you are on your PC or laptop. ***

Hangover (5 things - Week 54)

So the absolute lack of research on my part was brought to the fore by last week's post. I had ended that one with a question "So, why is there no reservation or quotas in the selection procedure for the Lok Sabha elections?"

Well, apparently there is a reservation quota for the same. And it was to this information that I awoke to on the previous Saturday morning. For those among you interested in knowing the quota split up, more details can be found at this link.

Anyways, coming back to the present. I had been postponing the "special" edition of this post for some weeks now. I'll give you my word that it'll be on this site in 100 hours. And I'm not gonna break that promise, even though I wouldn't put it past you to doubt me, since I made a similar promise last week too.

Well, I'm at a loss of words right now. No, it's not writer's block like always. It's another peculiar phenomenon. I was finally able to carve out some time today to go watch a movie - "Ohm Shanthi Oshana". And this movie is the current cause for the lack of words.

I believe all humans have the tendency to view things from the most recently acquired perspectives. Let it be a book, a song or a movie - anything you've emotionally invested in. These make us take a partial view on all things. It's a kind of hangover, if you may allow me to call it so. And it is under this phenomenon that I'm right now.

I can't even remember the points that I had gathered to share with you for this week. So, I'm gonna go for a spontaneous combustion, with some quick fire points I've gathered off the net.

***

1. Some conterversial  math problems can be found here.

Like how can you prove that 0.9999 = 1.

Let x = 0.9999...

10x = 9.9999...

10x - x = 9.9999... - 0.9999...

9x = 9

x =1.

Hence, we've proved that 0.9999... is equal to 1. If you are still not convinced, you are welcome to question the basics of mathematics.

2. "To invent your own life's meaning is not easy, but it is still allowed, and I think you'll be happier for the trouble."

To get a comic book style representation of the above statement, visit this link.

3. 2048

If you ask me how I spend most of my time this week, it would on that site. A 19-year old developer, Gabriele Cirulli, made that game over a weekend. And it has got the world hooked on to it. The target is simple. The logic to solve it is simpler. The only constraint you've is the limit of your concentration. One slip up, and you've to start from the scratch. And I'm warning you - IT'S ADDICTIVE.

4. Z-Type

Not as addictive, because it's harder to execute, but still a damn good way to improve your typing speed.

5. A question for you.

Three of us went to have lunch. We all ordered the same thing, each Rs.25; and paid the same. But the owner decided to give us Rs.5 discount and sent Rs.5 back with the waiter. The waiter thought that it will be hard for us to split 5 into 3, and being a nice, straightforward, truthful person, pocketed Rs.2 for himself and returned Rs.3 to us, from which we took Re.1 each. This reduced the net share to Rs.24.

So that's Rs.24x3 = Rs.72 and there's Rs.2 with the waiter. Total is now Rs.74. But we gave Rs.75. Where did the one rupee go??

***

***

That's it for this week.

You all have a great weekend.

'til next week.

An informed decision (5 things - Week 53)

So, here we are. Hopefully, putting a strong foot forward as we enter the second year of this conversation.

And at the very outset of this blog, I had a decision to make. The counter that we have on this series was at "Week 52". By default, it increments by one. But, like any counter, it too has a maximum value that it can store, and 52 seemed to be the obvious choice since that's when you reach a year, and start something new. So, by that logic, this post should have been labelled "Year 1 Week 1". But I said "wateva" and went for "Week 53".

[Sorry if you get bored with the numerous programming analogies here. As you would have guessed, I'm being taught the same in my course right now]

That's how you make an impetuous decision. But in five days, I've to make an informed decision, as will most probably yourselves too. The elections for the 16th Lok Sabha members will be conducted next week at my place. And this week's post will have a look at some of the facts regarding the same.

***

[I am not aligned nor am I against any political party. I'm yet to convinced about the genuinity of any of them. Any pro-party or anti-party inferences you make from my statements are your own, because I've not consciously intended  to make any here.]

1. Largest electoral strength in the world.

India has the largest electoral strength in the world. According to the Election Commision of India, it is estimated to be more than 81 crores. And the cost of conducting these elections (excluding security and individual candidate expenses) will consume about Rs.3500 crores of the tax payer's contribution.

2. 272 is the magic number.

There are 543 seats available to be contested in the Lok Sabha. And to form a government, you need to have at least 272 of the Lok Sabha members to support you.

3. Rs. 30,500 crores

That's the amount the candidates will be spending to get a ticket to the big league. No wonder there's corruption in this country. If an Indian spends 10 rupees, he expects to get back hundred. I guess the sum total of all the scams would hold that ratio.

4. Youth and social networking

More than any other segment of the population, the youth has been targeted by the candidates for canvassing. For the sake of clarity, youth would include those in the age group of 18-40. I know, it's a stretch, but bear with me.

Anyways, the candidates have utilized the vast, penetrative interconnection called the social network to reach out to the said youth. The amount of pages, shares, +1s, whatsapp messages and the like is a definite indicator of the same.

5. The issues

According to the popular sources (read media and the candidates in the current opposition), the major issues in the country are "price rise, corruption, security, unemployment, shortage of basic amenities", in no specific order. I believe that the major issue is that these were banded out from the 1st election to the last one. No one has done anything other than remedial measures.

***

We normally don't have a post-script rant over here, but this post requires one. The spark for this post came from not the general election that's going to start on Monday, but the numerous mandates that have been found lying in my house's porch. There are (I think) 20 candidates vying to be the MP of Thiruvananthapuram. And so, I guess I'm not short of options for confirming my first vote. Coming back to the point, among the many color brochures was a black and white one - of Aam Aadmi Party.

If there was one party I chose to believe at some point of time, it was AAP. And they crushed it to pieces, when they took the help of Congress to get into power at Delhi. I'm currently waiting for them to come back to their originally determined path. If so, I'll have a party, I'll have an ideal to support again.

And another notion that came into my head was regarding reservations. Several politicians are going around saying that they'll force private companies to provide reservation systems just like in the public sector. To put that into practice would require a humongous effort, and would result in massive unemployment. That would be because most of the current international companies would wind up shop here, and move to China or elsewhere.

Coming back to my point, the Member of Parliament is a government job, right? It even has pension scheme. So, why is there no reservation or quotas in the selection procedure for the same? I'll take your leave with that question.

***

That's it for this week. Hopefully, that special post will be out next week.

You all have a great weekend.

'til next week.