Friday, May 2, 2014

Something deep (5 things - Week 57)

After two consecutive weeks of talking about weddings, we are going to keep going on the same subject. This week we'll go on a little journey through the wonderful institution of marriage...

Hope you didn't believe all that. Even if you are interested in another article on the topic of weddings, you will most probably have to wait for some time. Today, we are going for something different. This week, there was an allegation against the posts here, although it might have easily been a suggestion. It was argued that there hasn't been a philosophical post, or, as it was put to me, something 'which stroked the embers of the mind'. Well, here it is. Something deep for you to ponder.

Last week, I mentioned [again] that 'The Last Post' is something which is very dear to me, as it recounts my last significant interaction with my grandfather. But there is an epilogue to that story too. And she's continuing her life.

I don't think anyone would have ever classified my grandmother to be physically fit in the entirety of her life. I've seen their wedding photo and she looked as thin then, as the day I first remember her from. But she was a strong willed woman, and no one would even argue about that. Even though she looked frail, she was adamant about doing the household chores, and about taking care of her husband's needs. But the day my grandfather chose to leave us, the air was knocked out of her sails.

She has never been the same after that. In one day, she was drained of the drive which kept her going. Nowadays, she complains that she can't even walk about properly. Even though old age might have something to do with that, I believe his presence would have mitigated the effects to a large extent.

Yesterday, when I went to meet her, I started to complain to her about the fact that I've been kept very busy of late by my commitments, and how I wish there were more than just 24 hours in a day. To this, she replied she rather would cut it down by a few hours. And it was then that I thought of how she's living her life these days.

Without a specific aim or endpoint in sight, she's just going through the motions. Waking up, sitting around, having food, taking a nap and watching some TV serials are the main events of her average day. There will be some deviances provided by the irregular flow of her children, her grandchildren and her great-grandchild.

All other moments are spent by her thinking of when the next event will start, and about how she'll continue doing this the next day. I guess one of the reasons she keeps doing this is the said great-grandchild and me. Him because he is continuously buzzing around the house, keeping her spirits high with his antics. Me, because she missed seeing her grandchild getting married the last time. Since my grandfather passed away ten days before the wedding, she had to miss the actual ceremony. I hope she is in the best of health for mine.

I've described this whole situation just because of one thing. Your grandparents might also be in the same situation. Even though they understand that we live a busy life, it doesn't mean that they wouldn't welcome a chat with us. So, if you can, understand their situation too, and share a moment with them everyday. It's the least you can do for them.

And, if there is a thing called KARMA, then at least, this token of kindness would hold good for you in your old age.

Anyways, that's all the deep stuff in this post. For the '5 things' for this week, we'll go through some of the things they have taught me in life.

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1. A story she told me recently.

My grandfather was dark skinned. When it was time for him to marry, he kept only one condition - that the bride should be fair skinned. After marriage, my grandmother asked him, what he would have done if she had said no to him. He replied, and I quote, 'I knew you wouldn't.'

2. Patience is a virtue.

My grandfather was the epitome of patience. And he was a well liked personality because of that. Nothing could faze him. Even if one of us went against what he said, he would not try to compel us to do it his way. He'll advice us once, maybe twice, then leave it for us to figure it ourself.

3. Mahabharata and Ramayana

In the early 2000s, we had consistent power cuts, so much so that they scheduled it for half an hour everyday. And before my cousin decided to break the eerie silence with the wailings of her violin, my grandfather used to recount to us the epics of Mahabharata and Ramayana. And it was a jolly good time for a story loving young boy.

4. Reserves of strength

My grandmother's physical health was always the same. But the way she took care of him speaks about the reserves of strength she was able to find. And right now, when everything around me is a bit of a blur, that is something which I lean back on.

5. Value of time

Again, I've already talked about this. It's true that you should live like you are going to die today. But make sure you plan for your future, for your retired life. Because when all this is done and dusted, you'll end up watching the second hand of the clock move along.

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Just because I said that we will talk about something else doesn't mean that there won't be anything on marriage in here. Here's a well taken short video on the concept of "Arranged Marriages" in India. Have a laugh, and then start contemplating on the situation we all are in..



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Well, that's all for this week.
Hope you have a great weekend. I would have preferred to meet you in the comment sections, but I know you are busy.. :p ;)
'til next week.

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