So, someone among you gave me a 'wtf' rating for the last post. Considering that it was regarding the Indian Space program and its unseen effects on the world, I was expecting only the 'interesting' ratings, like I got for the post no.31.
But I can't blame you. I knew perfectly well that I was only copy pasting the actual letter written by Mr.Ernst. I knew that the most effort that I had to make was splitting that letter into five points. To make up for my laziness in the previous week, I'm coming up with a personal post for this week. You can't say that this has been plagiarized, because no one has yet taken the effort to etch these memories in written words.
I've this friend of mine. He's a pretty decent guy, with a good job, a great life, a wonderful girlfriend and a decent control over the English language. But he has this knack of getting his 'English' all wrong once he is under the influence of alcohol. The following five goof ups are part of some his real life incidents, which mostly happened while he was under the influence of alcohol.
Let's give this friend of mine a bogus name for our convenience. We shall call him, Peter. If it weren't for the drinks Peter had, our gang would have been left short of these wonderful memories. So, here's to his good health.
And I do hope he doesn't do that thing he said he would do if I posted these things here.
So, with that prayer, shall we begin??
Did you know...
1. ...that Peter asked someone why that person was being sad?
Once, during a weekend gettogether, Peter saw this other friend of ours, sitting all alone, in a corner, looking sad. Being the compassionate being that he is, Peter inquired why the friend was being so sad. But his choice of words to express the same were poor.
"Why are you being a SADIST?"
Enough to say, that was enough to lift the spirits of the friend who was being sad.
*There has also been reports, or rather rumors that Peter called Michael Schumacher a RACIST. We all know what he meant though, right?
2. ...that Peter claims that a bookmark is useless thing?
Again, at another weekend gettogether, Peter stumbled upon a book that a friend of his was reading. He saw that there was some colorful thing in between the pages. Peter asked his friend what it was called. The friend informed him that it was called a bookmark. Peter was seeing a bookmark for the first time. Peter then looked at the book, then at the bookmark, then at the book again, and commented to his friend,
"This thing is useless. This BOOKMARK has left no mark in the book."
3. ...that Peter loves "orthodox" drinks?
The weekend gettogethers that I've been talking about are the hub of all kinds of discussion on a variety of topics - from the philosophically significant to the absolutely preposterous. Once we were talking about the religion of Christianity - the teachings, the different sects, etc etc.
Peter was telling us about his experiences on being an orthodox christian. At this time, another friend of ours showed up, with a bottle of whiskey. The pegs were drawn for each interested individual. Someone was mixing the same with water/soft drink. As soon as he got to Peter's glass, Peter picked his glass up and said,
"NO!! No water for me. Just ice. I love ORTHODOX drinks."
*he meant "on the rocks", which means the alcohol is served undiluted, with ice cubes in it.
4. ...that Peter would like to have a mobile with ups?
During another weekend gettogether, Peter was asked if he would pick up a car from Delhi, and drive it down to Gurgaon the next day. Peter was asking for someone to co-pilot with him, but no one was available for the same. Being the maze that the roads in Delhi are, Peter was afraid of getting lost while driving back alone. So, he made a simple enough request to perform the task,
"I'll drive back alone from Delhi to Gurgaon. But someone should give me a mobile phone with UPS so that I can know my way back. My phone doesn't have that feature."
5. ...that the metro entry gate didn't read his wallet?
For a change, let me tell you something which happened when he was sober. This happened at a metro station.
As you would likely see if you were to observe closely, most people walk up to the metro entry gate, and swipe his/her wallet over it, and the gate would open by itself. We were a group of five. Four of us did the above trick, and got to the other side, but were surprised to see that Peter hadn't joined us.
Peter was getting irritated by the machine which wouldn't let him enter, no matter how many times he tried to swipe his wallet on it.
What Peter didn't know was that we all had our metro travel cards in our wallet, and it was those cards, which opened the gates for us.
Peter was thinking that the machine worked by reading the ATM card, and deducting money from it directly. Being a newbie in a ultramodern metro city, Peter was oblivious of the way things worked over here.
***
I know I've been withholding on my mid weekly posts for over two months now - mostly because of the state of my health. I know that this "5 things" series is going bland. I try to bring you something new every week, but it is a bit hard to do so at a consistently high standard. But I will post it every week, even if I know what I'm writing is crap, cos the basic target of this series is to make me write regularly.
Being back to better health, I've a 2 part series lined up for you. Hopefully, you'll have read them by this time next week.
So, till then, good bye.
Have a great weekend!!
But I can't blame you. I knew perfectly well that I was only copy pasting the actual letter written by Mr.Ernst. I knew that the most effort that I had to make was splitting that letter into five points. To make up for my laziness in the previous week, I'm coming up with a personal post for this week. You can't say that this has been plagiarized, because no one has yet taken the effort to etch these memories in written words.
I've this friend of mine. He's a pretty decent guy, with a good job, a great life, a wonderful girlfriend and a decent control over the English language. But he has this knack of getting his 'English' all wrong once he is under the influence of alcohol. The following five goof ups are part of some his real life incidents, which mostly happened while he was under the influence of alcohol.
Let's give this friend of mine a bogus name for our convenience. We shall call him, Peter. If it weren't for the drinks Peter had, our gang would have been left short of these wonderful memories. So, here's to his good health.
And I do hope he doesn't do that thing he said he would do if I posted these things here.
So, with that prayer, shall we begin??
Did you know...
1. ...that Peter asked someone why that person was being sad?
Once, during a weekend gettogether, Peter saw this other friend of ours, sitting all alone, in a corner, looking sad. Being the compassionate being that he is, Peter inquired why the friend was being so sad. But his choice of words to express the same were poor.
"Why are you being a SADIST?"
Enough to say, that was enough to lift the spirits of the friend who was being sad.
*There has also been reports, or rather rumors that Peter called Michael Schumacher a RACIST. We all know what he meant though, right?
2. ...that Peter claims that a bookmark is useless thing?
Again, at another weekend gettogether, Peter stumbled upon a book that a friend of his was reading. He saw that there was some colorful thing in between the pages. Peter asked his friend what it was called. The friend informed him that it was called a bookmark. Peter was seeing a bookmark for the first time. Peter then looked at the book, then at the bookmark, then at the book again, and commented to his friend,
"This thing is useless. This BOOKMARK has left no mark in the book."
3. ...that Peter loves "orthodox" drinks?
The weekend gettogethers that I've been talking about are the hub of all kinds of discussion on a variety of topics - from the philosophically significant to the absolutely preposterous. Once we were talking about the religion of Christianity - the teachings, the different sects, etc etc.
Peter was telling us about his experiences on being an orthodox christian. At this time, another friend of ours showed up, with a bottle of whiskey. The pegs were drawn for each interested individual. Someone was mixing the same with water/soft drink. As soon as he got to Peter's glass, Peter picked his glass up and said,
"NO!! No water for me. Just ice. I love ORTHODOX drinks."
*he meant "on the rocks", which means the alcohol is served undiluted, with ice cubes in it.
4. ...that Peter would like to have a mobile with ups?
During another weekend gettogether, Peter was asked if he would pick up a car from Delhi, and drive it down to Gurgaon the next day. Peter was asking for someone to co-pilot with him, but no one was available for the same. Being the maze that the roads in Delhi are, Peter was afraid of getting lost while driving back alone. So, he made a simple enough request to perform the task,
"I'll drive back alone from Delhi to Gurgaon. But someone should give me a mobile phone with UPS so that I can know my way back. My phone doesn't have that feature."
5. ...that the metro entry gate didn't read his wallet?
For a change, let me tell you something which happened when he was sober. This happened at a metro station.
As you would likely see if you were to observe closely, most people walk up to the metro entry gate, and swipe his/her wallet over it, and the gate would open by itself. We were a group of five. Four of us did the above trick, and got to the other side, but were surprised to see that Peter hadn't joined us.
Peter was getting irritated by the machine which wouldn't let him enter, no matter how many times he tried to swipe his wallet on it.
What Peter didn't know was that we all had our metro travel cards in our wallet, and it was those cards, which opened the gates for us.
Peter was thinking that the machine worked by reading the ATM card, and deducting money from it directly. Being a newbie in a ultramodern metro city, Peter was oblivious of the way things worked over here.
***
I know I've been withholding on my mid weekly posts for over two months now - mostly because of the state of my health. I know that this "5 things" series is going bland. I try to bring you something new every week, but it is a bit hard to do so at a consistently high standard. But I will post it every week, even if I know what I'm writing is crap, cos the basic target of this series is to make me write regularly.
Being back to better health, I've a 2 part series lined up for you. Hopefully, you'll have read them by this time next week.
So, till then, good bye.
Have a great weekend!!
No comments :
Post a Comment