3 Random Things - Week 5

The obvious change in title might not have gone unnoticed, I presume. Like all things natural and artificial, I'm afraid of change, but not immune to it. 

There has been talks in the backalleys of the Internet that I'm running a scam here - I lure people in here by claiming that I'm sharing something I learnt, but they soon realise it's nothing more than an open diary.

Assume I had a any iota of talent in riding a cycle. The only way I could get better at it would be by riding it regularly. I would need a coach-like figure to guide me through. Unfortunately, my thing is writing. At the cost of indulging in oneself, I'm amazed at what I've written in the past. This might not be the endgame, but a positive feeling generated here sure reflects elsewhere.

Forcing myself to write every week on a public platform is the form of training I'm undertaking. Everytime I hit the "Publish" button, I mentally put a tick mark against one item in the weekly "To do" list. A sense of accomplishment every week helps.

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1. Increasing sales

There's that "forwarded joke" about how someone at a toothpaste company increased the sales by increasing the diameter of the opening. While we read and laugh/smirk alongwith it, the unfortunate reality is being ignored. I don't know if the toothpaste thing is fact or fiction, but something similar is happening everywhere.

Recently, I had to upgrade the internet connection to Fiber. They came and installed everything (at a cost). In the end, they said that the input port of the Wifi modem we are using now doesn't support the output of the newly installed router. Basically, to meet the present criteria, I had to throw away a perfectly functioning device and pay for a one.

2. Turning 35

I dreaded heading into the wrong side of 30. In two days, I'm being pushed to the away half of the wrong side of 30. Like any normal person out there, I'm having my fair share of anxiety and depression. It's controllable till date, but I've researched for solutions in case it becomes something which starts affecting my routines. If you are someone/know someone battling mental demons, don't be afraid to reach out for help.

Ok. Let me be clear - I meant reaching out to a professional for help, not me. I'm in no way qualified t this. I do have a patient ear, but the logical/sarcastic responses might not be what you were hoping to hear at the end of a full disclosure.

3. "I owe you"

Allow me one "I owe you". I swear I'm good for it. As a security, please accept this old post.

Ormayundo?

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So, that's all for this week then.

Have a great weekend!!

'til next week.

3 Things I forced myself to learn - Week 4

I haven't mixed writing with my job till date.

A natural tendency to over elaborate, an innate need to explain things like you are talking to a three year old, and always writing, while thinking of oneself as defending themselves in a court of law makes me a very "not-so-good" writer at work. If there ever was a word limit on the notes that I am asked to put up, I would hit a writer's block of epic proportions.

In short, I have mixed my job with writing to not so good reviews.

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I was thinking of all the things that I have brought to my work, from outside what you would think is the normal purview of a Banker - Maths and Finance.

During the short period of four years of earning an  engineering degree, I had tried my hands at organizing events, entry level robotics, a couple of on-stage "performances", multiple "on-screen" videos (which the people of today might call a really long TikTok video) and much more. And you would be amazed at what all skills I learned then have been put to use when I reached the Bank.

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1. Video editing

My video creation and editing skills were put to use. I'm not gonna explain for what and when. I'll explain how.

Pay Rs.499 per year to get full subscription to InShot app. The layout and controls are pretty simple to use. The key, as my friend taught in college, is finding the right music, and making sure that you do something on-screen to the tune of the beats.

2. Powerpoint

It's a trade secret. So I'll (try to) keep this to as many less words as possible.

Using powerpoint, timed custom animation, matching slide switching and loop-through slide music, you can save a PPT as mp4 to make a semi-decent video.

3. Teaching

Something I just love doing (I'm still regretting not taking my grandfather's advice to take up teaching). From last minute sessions before entering the exam halls in schools to trying to honour the name of group study during college, teaching is something I love doing.

I never thought I would teach when I joined the Bank. But that's where I found myself at the begining of demonetisation - going around the city, teaching people the various digital methods of financial transactions.

Then when the Bank launched a brand new online platform, I was able to train the staff on its features. Due to time constraints, we had to cover everyone in our region in one day. And so, I ended up doing eight one hour sessions on the same day. And it was one of the happiest days in my work life.

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Going back to the first line, I haven't mixed writing with my job till date. Well, not in a serious manner. There was this post some five years ago

How to use a Credit card?

Recently, someone asked me where the second part was. And I sheepishly said "in the drafts". I'm thinking of seriously mixing writing with my work. Your thoughts?

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So, that's all for this week then.

Have a great weekend!!

'til next week.

3 Things I forced myself to learn - Week 3

Some good news is creeping up on the horizon for Bankers, as the Five day Banking scheme might finally get implemented. To compensate for the additional non-working days, the daily business hours will be increased. Of course, when you are already working on non-regulated working hours with no overtime, that makes no difference. So, here's to hoping that all weekends shall be worth two whole days as soon as possible.

Why is this relevant to this blog? Well, a proper weekend every weekend means that I'll hopefully be able to get back to my routine back in 2013-14, where I took time to write, rather than trying to cram my thoughts into semi-coherent thoughts, late on a Saturday night, while watching some Premier League football.

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For this week's blog, which is coming nearly 48 hours late, we are going tp go through some things I have had to learnt to do the phone.

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1. Grocery shopping lists on WhatsApp

The first time I remember seeing someone use WhatsApp was in 2011. I was sending bulk SMS to my college friends across the country and he was chatting one-on-one with his friend in Australia. The speed with which WhatsApp replaced the existing platforms for sending "Good morning" messages and the "if you don't forward this to ten people, then..." messages was astonishing.

In the late 90s, I remember us calling the telephone exchange, asking for them to connect us to grandmother's home in Trivandrum, then waiting for some time before having the actual call (at a good cost too). Today, I can call my brother in US at any point of time with the tap of a button. Of course, I still have to wait, since the nocturnal creature might be asleep or playing some online game.

The latest addition to WhatsApp uses in my home is a group just for grocery purchase. If Ammu or myself find that we have run out of something, we will put it in the group. The next person who goes to the store is mandated by law to check the group before finishing any purchase.

2. Snapchat

I was initially confounded by the process flow in Snapchat - You click a photo, you send it across to your friends; they click a photo, they send it back. It's not even like forwarding a funny reel. The photo could be a mundane thing in front of you, or just a picture taken with the camera closed. I still haven't understood the logic (old age and all), but the advantage of trying out the app was in keeping my toddler entertained in 2020. She loved the "cat on your head" lens, and it was always a sureshot way to make her smile. No skill learnt is unutilized.

3. Voice notes

I hated voice notes. For someone who had built up his typing speed solely on chatting in Gmail and Facebook, I abhorred the idea of replying to someone with a voice note. Of course, once you start receiving minute long voice notes, you realise that you can't reply completely within a few short sentences. Slowly, I too was converted, and now I don't mind starting a conversation with voice note.

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Before I take your leave, let me share an interesting question that was put forward to me this past week.

"If you are given one extra minute every day, what will you use it for?"

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So, that's all for this week then.

Have a great weekend!!

'til next week.

3 Things I forced myself to learn - Week 2

History always repeats itself - mostly because the lessons of history fades away from our memory. The Malayalam movie TRAFFIC showed a possibility which arises from jumping traffic signals. People were very wary of it then, not so much now - I was a witness to a near miss event just today.

P.S. The flavour of the hour is to hold tight your kid's hands, and never let them get away from your sight. 

Coming back to topic, there is a reason why you chose not to watch THAT movie till date. With zero external compulsion, with no threats of blackmail, and with no tantalizing reward on offer, why I still chose to watch PERUCHAZHI will always be an enigma. Why I chose to complete watching the movie is on me though.

After intensely studying the subject for close to two hours - on whether this was a self-depreciating spoof movie or not - I'm still unaware of the intentions to make the movie. Maybe they just wanted to have a month in America.

Umpteen times have I fallen for this trap, and as soon as this experience faces from memory,  one more time will I repeat it in the future. History always repeats itself.

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The things I learn at work are mostly in the operational category and are of not much use to you. Initially I thought of extrapolating such things to the general sphere of activity to make sure that there's some use of it for you. But then, if that was the case, you would have tried to finish those two paid courses you started at Udemy an year ago (says he looking at his reflection in the mirror).

So, I have decided to go the other way round. I'm going to give you three examples of how I picked up something from other walks of life to use in my job.

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1. It's all in the numbers.

It was always fascinating to hear my father speak on the phone. He would say 98115 coach to be moved to rack in the morning, and 99124 to have its alternator checked. He has the ability to recollect things to a high degree, which is something he passed on to my brother. As for me, a goldfish will fare better than me when trying to remember what it had for breakfast.

Anyways, one thing my father told me is that since he knew the numbers, his colleagues knew they had to be precise. Data is king. Anyone can make a story, but there has to be data to back it up. And that is something I steadfastly hold on to in my work.

2. Teams

"Boop beep. Boop beep beep. Boop beep. Boop beep beep"

I'm pretty sure that sound made you shudder inside. We are now a generation working through online meetings. I had been watching my missus attend such meetings for a long time. The decorum they keep on their meetings - being online on time, giving value to everyone's time and sticking to the schedule and topics, not unnecessarily turning on camera / microphone, not forcing anyone to come on camera, etc - were little things obviously, but oozed respect for each other. 

Once covid fast tracked online meetings to traditional workplaces like mine, I have been following these simple rules myself.

3. Patience

I had seen it in movies and comics, but I never thought it actually happened. My curious little monkey found out the word "Why?" and decided to repeat it until she got to the bottom of every mystery in the world. And it taught me levels of patience I never knew existed. But again, it came good.

Having a client facing job is strenous work. You need to keep calm and accept that there is a mistake, even if you haven't committed any. Take for example, take the case of an IT professional somewhere far, far away - probably on a work from home schedule. They wake up one day and decide that one year from 01-12-2023 is 31-10-2024. And the field having the second date is non-editable. This halts operation for the day. You cut a sorry figure in front of the customer for no fault of your own. You are instructed that this issue will be resolved tomorrow. You use your entire gamut to convince the customer to come the next day. Next day arrives, so does the customer. And the second field date shows, "31-00-2025". Patience is very key to sit through another day.

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So, that's all for this week then.

Have a great weekend!!

'til next week.

3 Things I forced myself to learn - Week 1

The first thing I did before I wrote this was check something. By the time I click "Publish", it will be a minimum of  THREE years, SIX months, FOURTEEN days since the last published post.

And no, it's not like riding the bike.

So what do you do when nothing works? You pour the old wine in a new bottle.

* Deep breath as he wonders if anyone will get the dad jokes in the last five sentences*

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3 Things I forced myself to learn - Week 1

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I'll admit it. I'm now well into the wrong side of thirty. I can't finish a medium sized Domino's Pizza by myself anymore; I can't walk up three flights of stairs without breaking; and I can't understand many things that people are talking about.

The problem with procrastination is that time still moves forward. If you didn't learn how to use a computer in the early 2000s, you became expendeble at work. If you didn't find out how to use a smartphone in the early 2010s, you will find it is hard to talk with your grandchildren living abroad. If you didn't explore the possibilities of Artificial Intelligence in the early 2020s, you will miss out on easy ways to write blogs. If you don't care to hone your skills in using the selfie powered instant transporter in the early 2030s, you will be stuck at home watching your friends on the hologram, as they finally arrive at Goa, after twenty years of planning.

The fallacy of our youth is that we never realised we were constantly learning. Maybe it was just to pass an exam, maybe it was just to get a degree, maybe it was just for an event at a college fest, maybe it was just to impress someone, maybe it was just because you were competitive - but nonetheless, one way or the other, for the first two decades in your life, you learnt by default.

This brings us to the third decade of existence, where without a strong will to learn, you'll just start to ebb away from the process of learning. By the time the first half of the fourth decade is over, you will realise how hard it is to learn anything.

My chemistry teacher in school once told that the best thing she likes about her profession is that she keeps meeting young people and that keeps her young, atleast in mind. That was a tangent, and I'm not sorry. Just think it over.

Okay, so which part of my mid life crisis was I droning on about? Oh yeah. The part where I sorta, kinda accepted the fact that I have stopped learning and that it will require a significant effort on my part to start learning anything.

And as I learn, I'll share.

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1. Learnt vs learned

Even though both of these words mean the same, with the only difference being that each word is used only on one side of the Atlantic Ocean, a significant difference I could find out is that "Learned" is also used as an adjective. So, to put things in a simple way, you can not become learned without having learnt something.

2. Xlookup

Whenever I wrote anything in Excel with vlookup, I would think "Oh, where would I be without you, you beautiful thing.". Understanding vlookup and indirect functions in Excel have been nothing short of miraculous in my work life. This week, I was fortunate to come across a higher level as follows.

P.S. Among the thousand and one ideas I'm constantly scheming , one of the stronger contenders is an Excel tips channel/blog/podcast. Even if I don't know what I'm going to do, I know exactly what I'm going to call it.

"PIVOT!! PIVOT!! PIVOT!!"

3. Give way

One of the first things I remember my freshly migrated friends mentioning about their new life overseas was that they didn't have to wait to cross roads, and that vehicles actually gave preference to pedestrians at road crossing points - which is in stark contrast to what we have here.

But it's actually not supposed to be like that. A quick visit to the MVD site shows the following.

I guess it is just a matter of manners.

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So, that's all for this week then.

Have a great weekend!!

'til next week.