So, what's the plan?? (5 things - Week 101)

"So, what are you planning to write the blog next week?" I could imagine a mischievous smile playing hide and seek on her face from my bed, 250km away from where she was laying. 

Even before the time there was anything serious between us, the topics of the weekly conversations here were useful to us in providing content for the jibber-jabber that we used to do. And even though she hates to admit it, she loves it when I leave references to her in here. 

"So, when are you planning to write the blog next week?" Now, I didn't have to imagine anything. The mischievous smile was making its presence known in her giggly voice. 

The question of 'when' is important as I usually write these on Saturdays, and next Saturday I would be busy marrying her. Even though the actual act of marriage takes less than 10 minutes, the pre-marriage ceremonies, the post-marriage photo sessions, and the 250km trek from Aluva to Thiruvananthapuram would consume our time up until 9pm.

So, the question of 'when' I'm going to write for you next week is a pressing one. That's not to say that the question of 'what' is any less important. Anyways, I can put thinking about that off until next week at least.

When I asked her about what I should write next with regards to us, she said that I had never written about her. When I contested that statement, she made me realize that I usually write about us, rather than her; about our complimenting relation rather than our individual strengths. That's was a 'glass-shattering' moment for me.

For those among you unwise to the terms coined in the 'How I met your Mother' series, 'glass-shattering' is used to define those moments when you realize a pattern, which your brain refused to decipher from the picture till then.

So, guess what I'm going to do. I'm going to note down five such 'glass-shattering' moments we have had in our short time together - moments which made me realize that this is the woman for me.

***

1. Clone

Have you ever met someone whom you think as your clone? Well, I'm marrying mine next Saturday. At the end of our long discussion during our lab hour about what we wanted to do with our lives, what our definition of happiness meant, about what a family means, I was wondering whether she was fooling me by stating exactly what I wanted her to say. To tell the truth, for the love of God, I still don't know how she keeps doing that. And in these ways, we found love.

If you are wondering what goes on in my head when she does that, I recommend you watch the following video from 3m32s.

2. Attitude

Just having the same ideals doesn't mean that the other is your clone, you also have to determine how they respond to situations. For eg, when she responded to a certain undisclosable situation at our class, there was a I realized that our attitudes match too. We prefer real respect to respecting people only in front of them. In such little things, we found love.

3. Aptitude

Not something which she would like me sharing over here. How do I put it nicely, well her aptitude stinks. Not that she absolutely doesn't know anything in mathematical sorcery, but that she somehow or the other contrives to make sure that she always falls short of the cutoff in exams by the smallest of margins. If I may so, she's the exact opposite of me in this respect. As I'm the exact opposite of hers in many respects. And we make it a point to help the other in the areas they are weak. And in this differences, we found love.

4. Little things

I gifted her a letter for the first birthday she had since we met. You would expect a normal girl to flip out, but she didn't. That's when I realized that she's special. The contents of the letter or the subsequent gifts are to remain confidential, but just know that in these small things we find love.

5. Love

I always doubted the possibility of someone loving me as much as she does. Basically because of my sporadic bursts of immature ways and inappropriate behaviors. But when I realized that she found out all that has to be found out about me, and still loved me, maybe even more than she actually did, I realized that she is THE ONE for me.

***

Just in case you are wondering what my reply was to the original question, I spoke thus.

"Well, there's a lot of time on our hands when we are on the drive back home after our marriage. We would have to find something to keep ourselves busy na."

I LOVE YOU

***

So, that's all for this week then.

Have a great weekend!!

'til next week.

Ammu, Amma, Ammumma (5 things - Week 100)

It's mostly ironic that I had to be reminded that I was supposed to write a blog with this title for this week by one appearing in the title. This title and its debut today was finalized once I found its lyrical nature back in October or so. While pondering about writing about the three most important women in my life, I felt that March 8th is as good as it gets.

And the title seemingly wrote itself.  Ammu is what she's being called; Amma and Ammumma is what I call the other two. There was a fleeting mention of this blog in my tribute to my grandmother two weeks back. Whenever I thought of this blog, I thought of being able to tell all three that I wrote about them, as soon as I posted it. I guess I can do only two thirds of that now.

But, if my memory serves right, and I'm going to blindly believe it to be correct for just this moment, I told my grandmother in October that I was going to write a blog like this, and about its sing-song title. So, I'll always have that.

If still someone needs an introduction to these three women, Ammu is THE ONE I'm going to be married to in two weeks times; Amma is my mother, who made me the man I'm over more than two decades; and Ammumma is my grandmother, who unfortunately is not with us anymore.

They must have had come together in close vicinity on our engagement day, but the only day I remember when these three women actually conversed was when my mother brought my grandmother to meet her outside Technopark Campus. Ammumma was not confident in her health to go to Aluva to meet Ammu during the official Pennukannal [the first time the guy meets the girl]. And she used to joke that she made me sit back at home with her, while my Pennukannal was taking place without my presence.

I am at a loss of words to describe to you these three women. Each strong and soft, each with a determination unmatched, each willing to make sacrifices for the greater good, each unique in their own way, while being the same. They were born three decades apart, each in a different era, brought up under different set of rules, but each of them have gone on to become the best they could be.

And in their way to achieving personal perfection, they have helped me become a better man. And how they did becomes the '5 things' for this week. Shall we begin then??

***

1. History lessons with Ammumma

Over the course of our lives, but mostly over the past year, as we spent time on our daily hour of chitchat, she would explain to me her childhood. About the practices in that time, about the games she used to play, about how the society was, how she came from her town to here, about getting gifts from the Travancore king, etc etc. It was fun.

2. Life lessons with Amma

It is quite simple according to her really. Since she has had the opportunity to have more Onam feasts than me [meaning she's way older than me], she knows more than me. And since it would be dumb for me to wait that long to learn that much, she thinks it is much more simpler to just teach me these life lessons directly.

3. Miscellaneous lessons with Amma

From teaching me how to write the letter 'B' in the correct manner to how to behave, she has been on this march to make a me a better man for the woman who'll inherit me. And that's who we are going to talk about next.

4. Fighting lessons with Ammu

Despite my meek and withdrawn exterior, I've fought with many people. But I like fighting with Ammu more than any of the other fights I've had. It is in the worst moments of these fights - when she really gets on my nerves - that I realize how much I love her. And just for that fact, I don't mind having the odd fight with her here and then.

5. Changing lessons with Ammu

No. Not that kind of changing. This is the journey that I have embarked on with her, with her making me a better man every day. If you had known me a year ago, and if you know me today, then you would know that I'm right.

***

***

In light of the occasion, the topic and the situation, it is hard for me to not voice my opinion on the current comments unfurling both online and offline. What these people say, without much forethought I hope, is nothing short of despicable in nature. The narrow, convoluted mind of the nation's prominent faces will only demean the Nation's pride.

One essential feature of a person's character is to take a step back, look at their own actions objectively. Not only that, there should also be a will to accept the error and make it right. As a nation, I feel we are lacking in both these traits. Instead of looking for the cause, we are just making hue and cry over the results.

As much has already been written on this topic by many a skilled hands over the past week, I'll keep my words to a minimum. Maybe I'll collect my thoughts and get back to you later. For now, I wish every single women out there the strength to be who they want to be. I wish them a Happy, Safe Women's Day.

***

So, that's all for this week then.

Have a great weekend!!

'til next week.

Invitation (5 things - Week 99)

The way to my home is pretty much easy to understand. Arrive at Manacaud junction from the East fort side. You'll see two ways to go. Choosing right will lead you to the breeches and babes of Kovalam. As you are not interested in either right now, don't choose that. Choosing left will leave you at the gates of Attukkal temple, which holds the record of having the biggest *$1%%3#& of women (which will be rewritten next Thursday on the next pongala). As you are not feeling that spiritual right now, don't choose that path too.

Now, you are stuck at the junction, and I can hear you asking me "Where to go??". Now when I finish my next sentence you'll see a road, which your brain had chosen to ignore till now. In between these two paths, there's a third one, set a little to the inside from the junction, trying its best not to be conspicuous.

And there is this S shaped curve on this road towards my home. Travel 200 meters from that curve and you will be welcome to our humble abode. And to tell you the truth, this will always be one of those curves which will always capture my attention. Whether it is due to its curviness or whether it's due to the fact that having that curve in my ken implies that I'm almost home, it brings me a lot of happiness.

And I always have this crazy habit of imagining myself at this curve on my way home from somewhere I dream to reach. When I went to CET, I dreamt of walking back home after my first day of college. When I got a job, I visualized coming back home with my first salary. When I wanted to buy the bike, I fantasized about riding it home from the showroom.

As you can see, as is preached by preachers, I visualize the end point of my dream to motivate me to 

achieve it. And I'm sure, most of you do the same.

And recently, I'm visualizing a new vision - a real treat of a vision at that too. The day is March 21st of this year. The time is nearing 9 pm. One or two stray dogs are there on the curve. So is a car. I'm inside it, and beside me is my wife.

Aah yes.. You have been taken on this journey by me to invite you all for our wedding on the 21st of March between 11.50 and 12.30 at Green park Auditorium, Aluva. And you are also welcome to join us at the RDR Auditorium, Edapazhinji, Trivandrum on 22nd March for an informal evening.

***

***

We all know what everyone wants to do after they get married. For the five things for this week, let me take you through a list of things I wish I could get done before the big day.

***

1. Get a good night's sleep.

The deputation work, though providing a variety, imposes itself on your daily routine, heavily taxing the sleeping hours.

2. Complete the invitations

There are about a million invitations to be handed out over the next few weeks, and I hope I do get them across to everyone.

3. Get the house in order

After the recent 'slight' modifications that the house has been been through, I want nothing more than to have some discipline of any sort here. Right now, everything is anywhere.

4. Have a home cooked special lunch made by my mom

It's kind of funny, but I haven't had the said kind of lunch in 2015, and we are into the third month. Come to think of it, it is more sad than funny.

5. Buy two way flight tickets for all my friends.

When you are talking about the impossible and the improbable, why not go all in, right. ;)

***

So, that's all for this week then.

Have a great weekend!!

'til next week.

Songs (5 things - Week 98)

This must be a first. My laptop screen is currently bifurcated into equal halves - one portions. Both sections are currently under construction. While on the left side of the screen, this blog is being built word by word by yours truly; the other half is now showing the 'live' telecast of Crystal Palace vs Arsenal football match.

I have put live in quotes because it is almost live, not actual live. Along with this stream, I'm also following a live blog giving kick by kick updates. Now, the blog describes the action well before the actual action is shown in video format. When you consider that the blog is written by someone watching the match on his telly, then you don't need much else to question the dubious nature of the word 'live' shown against the match.

It is an interesting experience actually. I'm doing, arguably, two of the best things I love to do at the same time. And you won't be wrong to question the depth to which I would derive pleasure from each. Overlapping isn't generally added up in such cases. But since the live stream takes it upon itself to hang for some time every minute, I'm freed up in between to write to you.

The reason I'm forced to do this is because of our Saturday midnight deadline. I have had a pretty hectic week at work. This is unlike the ones I've had before. Since the work is mostly service oriented now, 12+ hours of daily work doesn't actually mean 12+ hours of actual work. It means that you have to be alert and work, as and when customers come along. This line of work is bound to end in a week. So hopefully, I'll have a decent, well thought out blog for Women's day at least.

As for today, I hope you'll excuse me, and take in lieu of the usual chitchat, these five soothing Tamil songs.

***

1. En veetu thottathil

2. Malarkale malarkale

3. Nadhiye nadhiye

4. Enavalae adi enavalae

5. Kannukku mai azhagu

***

You don't have to be a genius to pick up on the fact that these are some genuine, ever lasting ARR classics. If not for the lyrics, you can easily notice the repetition of words in the first sentence. That is as close as it gets to an ARR signature in words.

I promise I'll pick up the slack over the next few weeks.

***

So, that's all for this week then.

Have a great weekend!!

'til next week.

I will miss you... (5 things - Week 97)

The cause of pain in this world is never the past;

it's always the future that was taken away from you.

So, if you had noticed, we had happened to skip the conversation last week. My grandmother left this world cos of old age last Saturday. The same grandmother who wanted to be at my wedding so badly, that we all were sure that that was the only reason she was living for.

I am at a loss of words actually. This is the second time such an unfortunate event has happened in my family. My grandfather passed away two weeks before my cousin sister's marriage in 2009. Even though we went ahead with the marriage, as was my grandfather's wish, she couldn't attend it. More reason for her to want to be at my wedding.

She was down with cough and cold when I got back home from training back on February 1st. When I talked to her then, her only demand was that she must be there at wedding. The fact that it is to be at Aluva, 250+ km from here was always going to make it difficult, but she made the journey successfully for the engagement, and we were hopeful of repeating it once she regained her health.

But once we had to take her to the hospital on 5th on account of low sodium levels, the chances of her attending the wedding started to wane. Because the last time she had low sodium levels, it took her two months to get back to full health and we didn't have that much time.

Time. It's a funny thing. The most conservative rule in my land states that you can't hold a marriage until 16 days have passed since someone close has passed away. A more relaxed rule puts that number at 41. So, my grandmother calculated it to perfection when she decided to leave us, exactly 42 days before my marriage.

I met last Saturday morning before I went to office. Doctors said that her sodium levels were back to normal and that she would be discharged in a day or two. She seemed frail, but that was on account of the general lack of health and compounded effect of the illness. She was shivering a lot too. But overall, it didn't seem as bad as it would eight hours later.

My final words to her were poittu varam ammumma [I'll come later grandma] and she replied in the affirmative. I didn't know then that she wouldn't reply when I came back in the evening.

Life is like that. The future is not always what you expect. What I had planned to do last weekend included watching an Arsenal match and then spending the Sunday calling up my friends and inviting them for my wedding. I ended up lifting the mortal remains of my grandmother, and generally, coming to terms with the situation.

And when the future you wanted changes to something unpleasant, that is when you feel the pangs of pain pressing into you. My wedding is the one of the biggest changes in my life, and I had planned for how it'll develop my relation with my grandmother. I had situations decided, scenes scripted and dialogues memorized. Now all that remains a would-have-been-future.

Even though she had never read this column, she knew very well that I write here every week, and used to keep enquiring about it. For the five things of this week, I want to talk about the five things I had planned for, which will forever remain just that.

***

1. Going to meet her with Ammu.

2. Reading to her the Ammu, Amma and Ammumma post I have planned for the Women's day next month.

3. Having her teach my nephew basic stuff like she had taught me.

4. Learning more stuff from her about the life in the just independent India.

5. Having her at my Marriage.

***

All I can thank the good lord is for the chance and good health he gave her to attend the engagement ceremony. Even though taking her back so close to the wedding is a little bit cruel, I guess this is better than me having to attend the wedding with her bed ridden back here in Trivandrum. At least now, I'll know that she'll be as close to me as she possibly can through out the wedding.