5 things for this week (Part 23)

I consider myself extremely lucky to be able to type this out.

When I was in the nursery (that would be over two decades ago), as I was learning to write the 26 alphabets of English, my teachers at school found it extremely difficult to make write the letter "B" correctly. For reasons unknown till now, I preferred to "draw" the letter "B" in an inverted manner.

It took an enormous amount of effort from one person to get me to write it in the conventional way. And that person is, for me, my first teacher. She is my mother.

Now, you would ask me why the people who taught me at the nursery weren't teachers to me. Anyone in this world can teach. All you have to do is know something, and then repeat the same to another person who does/doesn't know it.

But, in my personal view, a teacher should be more than what an hour of classroom teaching does. He/she should be able to contribute more than what the syllabus requires you to learn. He/she should have a genuine interest in developing the person they are teaching, they should be dedicated and they should inspire the student through their qualities.

Today, I'm going to look at five people, who I consider to be my teachers. What I learned from them shall be the "5 things" for this week.

Did you know...

1. ...that a teacher would lent you a rupee to express your glee?

Let me just make something clear here. I've never been exceptional at anything. And until a fateful day when I was in tenth, I wasn't told I was exceptional in anything. And the person who said that was my Mathematics teacher back then, Mrs.Mary Alexander.

Even though I had a knack for doing calculation and solving problems, I was never quite capable of omitting out mistakes from it. This led me to never having a perfect score in it, and by the time I reached tenth I was quite sure I would never be able to do that.

Then, in some inconsequential monthly test we had, I scored it. And as if to multiply the jubilant emotions in me, Mary ma'am said this before giving out the marks that day.

"Today, one person has scored full marks. I always believed he could do it, but he had to learn to cut out his mistakes. For this exam he had done that, and if he does the same from now, I'm pretty sure he'll always score like this."

I wrote that here knowing all too well that I might come across as a pompous snob, but my point is something else. Those words of her gave me the strength to believe in myself and my abilities. And needless to say, I was more attentive from there on, both in class as well as exam.

I would also like to mention another teacher here - Remadevi ma'am, who taught me Mathematics from 1st to 5th at KV Palakkad. She was the reason why I never thought of Mathematics as a tiresome subject.

Oh!! And about that one rupee. The one person who wanted me to cut my mistakes in Mathematics more than anyone else was my father. And Mary ma'am was kind enough to lend me a rupee to use the pay phone at school to call my father right then. and tell him of my proud achievement. Yes, I am that naive. :)

Thank you ma'am for doing that.

P.S. In spite of all this, I did make a mistake in my tenth finals. :D

2. ...that a single phrase from a knowledgeable teacher can leave you in awe over his/her prowess?

"Please allow me to introduce my digitorial extremities into your pulverised atom of tobacco box and therefrom extract a pinch of snuff to my nasal concavity."

I confess that this was said by Samuel Johnson, rather than the sir I am going to talk about. But when I went into his class to improve my English, I never expected to be welcomed by such a situation.

The topic of the day was the English Dictionary, and this Mr.Johnson is called the "Father of Dictionary". To give us an example of Mr.Johnson's ken on the English language, Sukumaran Sir used this sentence.

When you think about it, it means nothing more than "Can I have some of that tobacco?"

But the epic-ness of the sentence, coupled with the way he explained to me the various terms, made me fall in love with the language of English. If I am any good at this art of writing, it is because of him, and his library. If not, then it is only because I am a student not worthy of his master. Thank you sir for everything you've taught me.

3. ...that a teacher has the power to inspire you?

You must have seen a lot of the typical underdog Hollywood movies. There's a hero, he's good at something, he gets better at it, then his ego grows, there's a slight downfall, some drama, some "why can't he see what he is doing wrong?" moments. Then someone comes along, kicks him out of his slack, and makes him achieve his potential.

Well, if my life was such a movie, then I would be the hero (obviously), my skill set would be Mathematics, and my coach would be Jayadevan Sir. At a time, when I was soaring high with excellent marks in tenth, I had neglected Mathematics, as I thought I would ace it, no matter what. I found it to be the opposite case by the time I finished eleventh class. And for the first time in my life, I was not comfortable with the subject.

It was at this juncture that I got into Jayadevan Sir's class. He was the one who bought back the knack in me. He was the one to whom I owe the marks I got in Mathematics thereafter - in the twelfth, for the engineering entrance and then in the five semesters for engineering. He was the one who inspired me. He was the one who made me believe in my capabilities again. Thank you sir for that.

4. ...that a teacher can be both intimidating and invigorating at once?

If you have had the opportunity to be in a Physics class taken by Unnikurup Sir, then you would know what I mean. I was confused as to why my father made me join his class in spite of the fact people only had tales of arrogance and meanness to tell about him. But in retrospect, I'm glad that he did put me in the lion's den.

Sir had a distinctive style of teaching, a focused mindset on  how things should be done, and a unique way of teaching. The last part means that he just scares you into learning Physics. He guarantees, and I can vouch for the fact, that if you finish the entire course, you'll learn the subject. Thank you sir for that.

5. ...that a teacher can be found anywhere?

This is fact that I stress, both to my friends and myself.

I learnt to control my anger from a close friend, who himself has short temper.

I learnt to walk with my head held high, after an old man on the street advised me to do so.

I learnt to be more selfless, after watching another friend of mine.

In this manner and more, you can learn a lot from those around you. Open your eyes and let in the knowledge flood your senses.

***

Before I end my tributes, I would to make some honorable mentions to a few more I hold close to my heart.

Sreejith sir, who taught me Science in tenth. Simply put, he was someone who knew how to teach, and I'm proud to say I was his student.

Kochrani ma'am, who taught me Sanskrit in tenth. Again, she taught in such a way so as to inspire us to be better at the subject.

Chandrasekhar sir, who taught me Chemistry in twelfth. He had pronunciation issues and some personal trauma at that time. But he showed perseverance in teaching us.

Reeba ma'am, who was my project guide in college. She made us realize that not all strict teachers are indeed strict.

Mini ma'am, who was my staff adviser in college. She kept on supporting us in spite of our internal bickering, and kept believing in us for those four years.

And to my father and my mother, who were heavily instrumental in any trait that I've now.

Thank you all. I know it's coming a day late, but

Happy Teacher's Day!!!

***

That's all for this week.

If you are interested in reading more, I did a piece mid-week, which can be found here.

And I had written about my last exam in Mathematics in another blog, which can be found here.

So, see you next week.

Have a great weekend!!!

Ormayundo?

Somebody asked me to write a story.. So here it is..

To avoid the reader imagining a personality or a character as I define it, I'll not be going into a detailed description of the protagonist, his friends and his adversaries. This has not been done to protect the identities of those actually involved.

***

***

Free hours were not that hard to come by in the four years he spent at college. The assigned professor might not turn up; the students might have decided to bunk class en masse; the lab might have been suspended; the class might been cancelled to let the students prepare for some festival happening at the college; someone(anyone) might have called a strike; etc etc. If not for any of those, you could quite easily have decided not to attend the class, and instead spend your time loitering around the campus.

But in the first year of college, it was never advisable for a fresher to wander around the campus. The officially-free-of-ragging-campus had indeed had some ragging left in it. So in their first academic year at the college, he and his classmates would spend the free hours inside the classroom, passing the time by holding games like anthakshari or dumb charades.

The story I've to tell you happens on one such free hour, when the whole class was playing dumb charades, and he was miming the name of a movie across to his team. The movie was a Malayalam one, "Pedakozhi koovuna Nootandu" - which would mean something like "The century where the hen crows at dawn".

After successfully communicating to his team that the phrase is a movie, a Malayalam movie, a Malayalam movie with three words, he proceeded to split the first word into two, and tried to mimic the second part of it. If you have played the game, you would understand that this is pretty much a standard procedure.

So the word he was trying to get across now was "kozhi", which means Chicken/Rooster. Now, I don't know about you, but in our time, the pet name of "kozhi" (rooster) in a batch was reserved for the guy who tried the most to flirt with the opposite sex. And, up till that moment, this batch of no-gooders hadn't decided whom to call that. Yet.

If you thought that our friend got the name "kozhi" just because he enacted one, then you are wrong. His rather weak acting skills made it tough for most of his teammates to deduce what was being depicted. She was the first one to recognize the fowl he was being. And she cried, "Kozhi!! Kozhi!!", and then in a few seconds rolled off the whole movie name.

As he was celebrating with his teammates, the captain of the opposite team made the remark that "She called you a 'kozhi'."

In a few seconds, this one-liner spread throughout the class (and later throughout the campus), and the name has stuck with him ever since. He never flirted any more than any other guy you would meet in that campus. But being the wrongful owner of one of the worst tags in college, his life was never the same.

But that is not the worst part either. One of his classmates at that time, another girl, got a higher option in Medicine and left their group. She came back after a year or two to attend some fest, and the class was saying their hello to her. In between, he propped up and asked her, "Ormayundo?" ("Do you remember me?").

You have to sympathize with her. She was only in our company for a month or two, and she couldn't recollect all our names. So, when she said, "Oh pinnae.. Kozhi allae." (Of course. You are "kozhi".), he could do no more than feel sorry for her.

But that was not the case with his classmates. The one-liner came out again.

"She called you a 'kozhi'."

5 things for this week (Part 22)

Well, today is a special day. Because we have our first guest post in this series. But due to the nature of the content being discussed, the author has insisted that he remain incognito for this post. Nonetheless, I would like you to welcome him and appreciate his ingenuous piece on ingenious ways to feel more happy at work.

***

The month of March is very special. The cycle of seasons finish one more lap, and the month welcomes the season of Spring. After the cold weather leaves the land barren, Spring heralds the coming of new life everywhere. Flowers start blossoming, rivers start gushing with more water, animals come out of hibernation - basically, life celebrates the arrival of the spring sun.

And you would normally expect the homo sapiens to take part in the same "festival". But most of us are forced to curb our natural inclination towards having a jovial time. This is because, while our fellow fauna use the Autumn season to stockpile resources, we tend to use the season of Spring for the same task.

The month of March in the season of Spring is that time of the year, when everyone (except those on probation) are busy filing out their yearly review form. They are on their best behaviour; putting in those extra hours at the office, which will take them higher on the list.. And they are all doing this for the same thing.

INCREMENT.

I have done the same too. Now, please let me tell you the gist of what I learned from my said efforts.

Hard work, dedication, loyalty and good behaviour may be the conventional methods to improve your career, but it doesn't give you 100% satisfaction on the increment front. A change in stance from management; an unlucky mistake on your part leading to a black mark; the now never mentioned 'recession'; or a multitude of other factors can put a spanner in that double digit increment you were looking forward to.

But don't worry Ladies and Gentlemen. Don't worry any more. I'm here to give you five sure shot methods to increase your salary.. But before that, let me explain to you the basic terms we are going to use here..

1. CTC : Cost To Company. It is just what it reads. It is the net amount that the company has to spend to keep you slaving for them. Remember the term properly. We are going to misuse this term for our benefit. ;)
2. Working hours : We are going to assume that the normal working hours is 8 hours.
3. Daily wages : The money we earn for working a day (that is a minimum of 8 hours).

So, as a part of the "5 things" series on this blog, here are the five ways you can increase your CTC.

Did you know that you can increase your CTC by...

1. ...taking more stationery?

Need a book to write down the expenses at home? Issue it from the stationery.
Need a pen to write an exam? Issue it from the stationery.
Need some color markers to give to a friend who is currently studying? Issue it from the stationery.

Need some stick-ons to write down the grocery list? Issue it from the stationery.
Need a stamp pad/glue stick/file clamp/folder or just some blank A4 papers? Issue it from the stationery.

The amount of money spent by the company to keep up the inventory at the stationery is a part of the CTC that is consumed by you. This has been termed as cheap/stealing by few, but so is not rewarding you according to your hard work.

2. ...by taking the "Phone a friend" helpline?

"Phone a friend" is an option available to the contestant taking part in the famous "Kaun Banega Crorepati". While answering a series of questions, each with continually increasing prize money, if the contestant feels like he needs help, he can choose this option and ask one of his friend.

You could use the same option too. You must have an office landline phone near you. Use it to the maximum.

Call your girlfriend and talk about where to meet up today.
Call your college friends and discuss the latest escapades.
Call your parents and try to convince them why you don't want to save money right now.
Call your relatives and enquire about their health.
Call your bank and inquire about their new credit card offer.
Call your grocery store and place an order.
Call that guy with the weird laugh you met at that wedding years ago, and check if he still laughs like that.

And no prize for guessing who pays the bill for all these calls.

3. ...by surfing?

Not that kind of surfing.

I meant surfing the internet. Sites maybe blocked, but an obstacle has never stopped an enterprising man. [Hint : Proxy sites]

4. ...by looking busy?

I learnt quickly in my previous job that this has to be a skill that you can pull off with ease. It doesn't matter if you are working to meet the target, or looking at the latest "page 3" pictures, the look on your face must be the same - of someone who's very busy in doing something. And if someone tries to break this monotony, react as if you were pulled away from something important. This reduces the workload and keeps people from dumping work on you.

5. ...by doing shit?

This doesn't mean that you should not do anything. This just means what it literally means - go shit. It can be mathematically proved that spending time in the restroom is equivalent to a whole week of holiday.

If you spend 10 minutes in the restroom, sitting on the thinking chair, everyday, every week, every month; then it means 50 minutes per week. As there is 52 weeks in an year, that equates to 2600 minutes per year. For those of you lazy enough to convert that into hours, it is 43.33 hours.

As there are 8 hours in a normal working day, this means that you are getting paid more than 5 days worth of daily wages every year for sitting on the other chair at the office.

Now, there's a happy thought.

Well, that's it from me. Hope you liked the little mischievous ways for increasing your CTC.

***

Those were some mischievous way to increase your CTC indeed. I don't endorse it, but it's always good to know your options.

Now, I'll take your leave till next week. I'm working on another blog, and hopefully it'll be up soon.

Anyways, see you later.

Have a great weekend!!!

5 things for this week (Part 21)

The first day back from home after your vacation is always the worst. The obstreperous nature of things inside your head makes you question yourself.

"What is the purpose of staying out here for four months, if 7 days at home is all you want? Is this sort of penance worth the money you are supposed to be making? Is this what I wanted all along, or what I want for myself?"

I know the answer to the last one. For someone who wished to be able to work in his home city for all his life, so that he can live blissfully in the same circumstances in which he grew up, I know pretty well that the answer to the first part of that last question is a big NO.

And when I consider that I'll leave for home again in December end and come back on New Year's day, I shudder to my bones. I'll be leaving when it's cold here, then spend some quality time at home when its moderately warm there, and then come back to a colder Delhi for another four, or maybe, five months of abstinence.

And it's hard to rue your fate when you made an informed decision three years back to NOT to go for that IT job, which would have eventually placed you in your hometown, but to go for the other job, which will take you far, far away from there. I don't think I need anything other than that singular decision to prove my insanity.

Anyways, here I am, trying hard to figure out the loophole in my prayer that God had exploited to put me here. I don't know what he could do with "Please help me get a good job here in Trivandrum.", but he did something. The pessimist in me had thrown in the towel and became an atheist long back. The optimist in me believes that since I didn't specify a time frame, he must have something planned for me back home, based upon the experience I have gained here.

With all said and done, on the basis of the thoughts on prayers that I've had now, this week's post is going to be themed on "Temples". Not actual facts, mind you, but more of what my experiences have taught me.

So, let's begin, shall we?

Did you know...

1. ...that you have to pray for the thing you actually wanted??

It is a common sight to see people breaking coconuts in front of Lord Ganesha for removing any obstacles in some effort that they are about to undertake. These efforts vary from writing an exam to going to get married. What I've personally experienced in such situations is that at the time of breaking the coconut, instead of praying to the God that he remove all obstacles, you are most probably going to pray that the coconut should break.

The ridicule-drenched looks you get on an unsuccessful attempt is enough to keep your mind sorely concentrated on the act of breaking the coconut, making you forget to specify for what you are breaking it in the first place.

2. ...that the best place to find beautiful gals are here?

Now, when I say there's beauty in a female, I know that it's arbitrary. My friends have never spared a moment to remind me that what I find beautiful is not that beautiful in the eyes of the general public. But no matter how skewed your scale of beauty is, I can assure you that you can find one specimen of the highest order if you visit a temple on an auspicious day. This is another reason why I often forget to actually pray when I get to a temple. I get immersed in the distractions walking around me.

3. ... that a temple is a good place to be on the look out for?

Look out for what, I hear you ask. Well, let's pretend that your parents are delusion-ed enough to suggest that you should get married. Let's continue with the pretending by assuming that they are actively looking for a possible match for you. In such circumstances, it might be plausible for their expectation to be not matching with yours. In such a hypothetical situation, it would do you good to go on a temple visit with your parents, where there shall be a variety of specimen of the female kind for you to, hypothetically, suggest one as your expectation.

4. ... that, hypothetically, if you meet again that girl, that you had hypothetically suggested to your parents as a possible lifemate, it doesnt mean anything?

Just keep repeating that to yourself. Hypothetically, of course. :D :p

5. ... that I've never set foot on a place of worship other than a temple?

I find this odd. In 25 years of roaming about on this Earth, in spite of living in God's own country for more than two decades, I'm yet to enter a place of worship that adheres to a different set of principles than that I'm supposed to follow.

The closest I came was in the May of this year, when I went to attend a Christian wedding at a church. But since we (me and my collegemates) were quite noisy, we felt it would be better if we just stuck to the little space near the juice stand.

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So, that's all for this week. I would have loved to hit a hat trick with three "special event of the week" posts on the trot, but the special event for this week has already been described by me in the past.

You won't normally find an aspiring writer who'll say that he has already written the best he could/would ever write, but I might be something like that. This past Wednesday, August 21st  had three special events on the same day for me. In the chronological order in which I was introduced to them in my life, it was the day one of my best friends was born; it marked four years since my grandfather died; and it was the second birthday of my nephew.

I had written "The Last Wish" nearly four years before, to pay my tribute to one of the best personalities I've ever known. I recounted my last meaningful talk with him in that. And I believe that that is the best prose I'll ever write in my life.

That's all folks. See you next week.

Have a great weekend!!!

5 things for this week (Part 20)

Now, if I had done a post last week on a special day happening during the week, then it makes sense on my part to continue with that same philosophy for this week too. But don't think that this post is obligatory. This post is going to be sweet, short and simple. But if in some manner you deem this post to be obligatory, then please do sympathize with my situation. By the time I'm posting this, I'll be at home and I will personally be enjoying those 140 hours of freedom from THIS life - freedom being our choice of theme this week.

So, as you might have read in today's newspaper, it was our Independence day yesterday. Now, that sentence is a lie. Why? Because I don't know any newspaper which comes out with an issue on the day after a national holiday.

Anyways, August pandrah san unniz sou sayntaalees main, humare pandit Jawaharlal Nehru ji ne lal qila me bharat ka pataka udake bhaarat ko swathantre ghoshit kar liya.

For those of you who don't understand Hindi, or if you don't understand the "Hindi" that I wrote above, it's translation in English would be along the lines of

on August 15th, 1947, our Pandit Jawaharlal Nehru flew the Indian Flag atop the Red Fort, declaring to the world that India is a free state.

With that, we shall begin today's "5 things".

Did you know...

1. ...that Telangana will be our 29th independent state of the Indian Republic?

"On 30 July 2013, the ruling Congress party resolved to request the Central government to make steps in accordance with the Constitution to form a separate state of Telangana. The timeline for the creation of the new state involves an elaborate process, which has been allotted 122 days, or at least four months. The split has to be approved by the Parliament of India before the state is officially created."

So, that is another state's name your child will have to remember when he goes for his Social Science exams. Some people have extrapolated this increase in the number of states in India to come up with a future map of India, titling it "United States of India".

P.S. Let's let go of the states here and turn our attention to the union territories in India. There are seven of them. Can you name them all??

2. ...that the last time I sang our National anthem was some 5 years back?

This is a confession. I've to admit that since I left school, few situation have arose wherein I had to sing our National anthem. I believe this to be situation of grave consequences. Being the National Anthem, there are restraints of location and timing for the use of National Anthem. Our generation shouldn't be allowed to squalor in the songs of the west, but be given opportunities to sing aloud their National Anthem.

3. ...that the last time I took the National Pledge was back in school?

That would be the early part of 2006, a good seven years before. What I mean to say with the National Anthem and National Pledge points is not that we don't care. I'm pretty sure that you, like me, would repeat the words of both; refresh them in due time in your mind. But the basic aim of these two pillars is to imbibe the spirit of Patriotism in those who take part in it. It is not something that should be done by an individual, but by the community. There has to be more venues for doing the same.

4. ...that the person who designed our national flag is yet to receive a Bharat Ratna - the highest civilian award in India?

The name you are looking for is Pingali Venkayya. He was the one who suggested the idea of a national flag for India at an annual congress meeting, and was entrusted with the making of the same by Mahatma Gandhi. He used safforn and green to represent the major communities in India, Gandhiji added white to represent the minorities, and the Ashok Chakra was included to represent the laws of Dharma.

5. ...that a group of tribal girls, who have never played football outside of their village, came third at an international competition in Spain?

You can't keep me away from football for too long. I'll find some way to sneak it in here. But this is not something which we have to whisper among ourselves. These girls braved the odds, went afar, played to their full potential and came back glorious. Kudos to them and their mentor, Franz Gastler.

Well, that's it from me for this week.

See you all next week.

Have a great weekend!!!