Are we in the process of renaming the title of this blog??
If yes, can't we come up with something better?
If not, why did I say that?
Was it because this phrase was stuck inside my cerebrum for an extended period of time? Why then, had it not made its way out like the thousand other phrases that have come after it? Is it because of a bout of shyness? Fear of reproach from the general public maybe? Or is it something yet unknown, which kept the created masked from the audience?
Are you wondering why every sentence is a question today?? Are you getting annoyed by it? Are you getting irritated by it? If you are feeling either of those, can you pause to contemplate how it might be effecting me? What do think is my condition right now? What do you think my condition will be at the end of this post?
Are you thinking how many questions are going to be there in this post?? Would you like to calculate? Or would you like to know the answer to the first question in the paragraph only? If yes, would you please jump to the next paragraph? If not, did you know that, on an average, I write about 1000 words per post? And that the average sentence length will be something around 12? Can you calculate 1000 by 12 to find the average number of sentences per post?
Did you know that the people who decided to calculate what was asked in last question got an answer close to 84? So how many question are over already? Would you believe me if I said that this is the 24th question? Or would you like to go back and count from the beginning?
Are you wondering what I would get because of this perennial questioning? Is it a sense of achievement or accomplishment? Or is something more petty like payback or revenge? If so, a revenge for what? Is it because I was subjected to something similar during the day? If so, do you think I would risk an anti-climax by stating the reason for this before we reach the end of the post?
What else do you think we should talk about as we make our way over there? How about the weekly ritual of going through "5 things" for this week? What should be the 5 things for this week? How about I list out some words I always wanted to use, but couldn't; some things I always wanted to admit to, but didn't; because of a lack of appropriate situation? Shall we begin then?
Did you know that that was the only sentence which you might find in a run of the mill post over here - "Shall we begin then?"? Are you wondering whether it is right to use two 'that' consecutively as in the previous question? What if I tell you that it is correct from what I understand of the English language? Will you agree that it has more chance of being correct than 'recent future' as someone used the other day? Or are you confused about what is wrong with 'recent future' like that someone?
But seriously, shall we begin then?
***
1. Did you know that I always wanted to use the word 'hirsute' in a sentence?
Is it because the word fascinated me when I first came across it in my eighth standard textbook? Is it because the word wraps up in gift paper a generally disliked word like hairy?? Or are you wondering whether I have any kinky attraction to hairy things?
2. Did you know that I am not a bathroom singer?
And more importantly, are you aware that I sing when I ride my bike through this city of mine? Is it because I have less chance of being found out as someone who lacks basic rhythm and sense of music notes?
3. Did you know that I always wanted to punctuate my feelings on here with swear words?
And shall I inquire whether you will be offended by it? Are you wondering why I would like to use swear words? Are you hoping that it be some silly reason? Is 'to satisfy one of the conditions to cement my online personality's character as cool' a silly enough reason?
4. Did you know that online chatting is a fake?
Is it because the response is always having a time delay compared to real life conversation? Is it because the said time delay allows for one to contort his/her reply to mask their true feeling, so that they can cajole their conversation partner to do what they want from them?
5. Did you know that I'm an imaginative pessimist?
Should I give more proof to that? Won't this whole post suffice to make my point valid?
***
Are you aware that we are only on the 61st question? Will it be weird if I confess that I am wondering how I will push another 22 questions onto you? Shall I begin by finally explaining the reason for the style that has been adopted for this post?
Did you know that I am an Arsenal FC fan? And not just a fan, but a bit of a fanatic fan? Will you agree to my title if I say that I follow about 5 daily bloggers who write exclusively about Arsenal? Do you think that I will only be glad to admit that my own weekly blogging is inspired from the effort those writers are putting in? What if I told you that this style was also inspired in such a manner?
Would you like to read the article that is the source of this inspiration? Have you gone through that article? Did you read Tim apologize to Padgett Powel for copying his idea? Do you think I should apologize to them both? If you think I should, can you take this sentence as my apology?
By the way, can you fathom the effort that must have been made to write an entire book, only with questions? Will you believe if I claim that I can? Isn't the experience of having to churn out this blogpost having 1127 words spread over 81 questions in about an hour a reference enough to do that?
***
Are you still here? Are you still waiting for me to wish you a great weekend like is the custom? Can you sympathize with me if I say that it is hard to do so talking in questions? Will you accept a promissory note saying that I'll wish you one in another post tomorrow? And, by the way, are you afraid that that post is also going to be like this?
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