The Best of the Worst

"All I can do is to pray to all known Gods, and unknown, that they let me see this piece of heaven in her arms, both of them safe and healthy."

***

That was the last line I wrote on this platform, some 6 months ago. And I thank every single one of them, because it took every prayer that could be heard, every blessing that could be given, and every miracle that could be spared to bring my girls home safe and healthy.

The short version of the story is long by itself.

On July 26th, in her 26th weeks of pregnancy, Ammu decided to check her BP. Even though we brought the BP monitor the month we knew she was pregnant, we hadn't used it yet. The reading showed 160/110. We decided to go to the Hospital and they admitted her for observation. We would be at a hospital every day for the next sixty days.

By July 29th, it was confirmed that Ammu had Pregnancy induced hypertension, and had to be kept under medication in observation for a longer period. The good news amongst all this was that the baby's growth and vitals were not affected by any of this.

On August 2nd at 12pm, the Doctor informed me that her body was not responding positively, even to the maximum allowed dosages of medications. The only solution was to terminate the pregnancy. It took fifteen minutes to understand that the jargon meant the baby would have to brought out in an emergency procedure. But I dare you to be in my shoes for those fifteen minutes and come out laughing at the confusion it caused.

The baby's weight was still below 1kg and since Ammu's body was still fighting, the doctors were able to push the cesarean to August 6th. In the meantime, neonatologists informed me about the complications that could arise for my child and the survival chances. 

On August 6th, SHE was born to us. Weighing in at just above one kg, she put on her gloves and took her stand onto the right of the boxing ring. Having had to come to the fight three months early, she needed all the help she could get. Thankfully for the three of us, the doctors and the nurses were very adamant in providing that.

We got to see her for 10 minutes in a day. Touching her was a luxury. Seeing her without tubes on her face took 6 weeks. The infection scare in first week of September almost stripped us of our faith in this world. None of this was how we imagined our first two months with our child, and we pray that no one else has to go through the same.

There are a thousand sights I can't unsee, and a thousand words that I can't unhear. Even though they are fading into the horizon, I felt the need to write this line down here for eternity. 

***

To our Daughter, 

Between February and September of 2019, you were presented with multiple opportunities to just go away. Your mom doing heavy gym work in the early weeks of February was the beginning. Of course, we didn't know that you had decided to make your mom your home at that point in time.

We came to know about that only the day after we ran and finished our first 10km Marathon. The marathon your mom ran with a nagging pain in the stomach. At both instances, you could have quit and no one would have blamed you. But you stuck on.

Come the end of July 2019, your mom was lucky to have the thought to check her BP and that helped in identifying the pregnancy induced hypertension and subsequent pre-eclampsia. One in a lakh pregnant women are diagonized with this. You and your mother went through this to allow the other 99,999 have a better entry to this world.

You were born extremely Pre term in the 27th week of pregnancy at just above 1kg. You had barely functioning internal systems. The odds were stacked heavily against you. You could have quit, and no one would have blamed you. But you fought on.

Luck was on our side even in these dark times. You had the least of complications and other issues. We were blessed with having the best of the worst experience possible.

99% of the babies hardly leave their mother's shadow in the first six months. You fought a battle alone in an ICU. You have proved your grit and determination against your peers. When you feel down in the future, as is wont to happen, I want you to remember this. You were born a fighter.

Love,

Dad.

Meals for Two

February 20th

Three rounds around the Kochi stadium. Around 9 mins per km.

February 21st

Five rounds around the Kochi stadium. Around 9 mins per km.

February 22nd

Five round around the Kochi stadium. Around 9 mins per km.

February 24th, 6am

We start our 10km marathon from UC College, Aluva in the Kashi Periyar River Run. Going by my earlier averages, I expected to finish the marathon in an hour and a half. Ammu started running the moment we started. I was only lazily jogging. Usually, I would catch up to her in 700 odd metres when she would be jogging along. After half a kilometre or so, she would start running again. This routine would repeat. This was what happened on the earlier days.

Today, I couldn't reach her even after covering 2km. It was then I got a call from her. She apparently pulled something in her abdomen, and was only doing the walking part, and she was, in fact, way behind me. I waited so that she could catch up. Almost 90% of the fellow runners moved past me in this period. The best she could do was briskly walk. We finished the marathon, but only after one hour and forty five minutes.

February 25th, 7am

I'm deep in sleep, trying to forget about the aching joints. That's when she starts asking me to wake up. When I ask her why, she says that there are two lines.

We had been here before - when she claims to be able to see a second (almost invisible) line, and I nod along only to not disappoint. I prefer that honour to go to the next test, or the blood test. Mostly, it was because I hoped against hope that my lies were not lies.

But today, there was a line. We decided to get a blood test. The counter person told us that we can see the results online by 12. She kept pinging me. She was feeling a lot of things. I was practically numb. I couldn't think of anything to reply.

The result came at 12.15pm, after a few agitated calls. The values showed that she was three weeks pregnant. I was still hesitant to believe. We booked an appointment with our Doc for the evening. She was ecstatic, I was jittery. Evening finally came, and the Doc said it's a start.

We did blood tests two more times, the values kept increasing - along with that our hopes. We had our first scan in the first week of March, and there it was - all, but a dot on a flickering screen, which filled us up with warmth.

Sometime in the second week, she asked me if she's really pregnant. I went out and bought her a pregnancy kit from the same Lady, who had given me sad look on February 21st, when I had last brought this from her. This time though, I had a smile across my face, and the arrogance to say, "This is the last time."

I don't usually turn to self-serving on this platform, but I need to say this out loud for every husband out there. On February 25th, as the Doc was confirming the good news, she asked what she was doing to maintain her fitness. Ammu said that WE had been going to the gym for one month now, and that WE had prepared and WE had completed a 10km marathon just yesterday. The Doc said that the WE was really nice to hear.

We are into the sixth month now. She has been immense since the turn of the year. The way she keeps herself in check, so that the health of the kid is safe - she is a mother already. She is feeling all of this emotions and pains and what not, and the best I can do is be emphatic and nod. The next few weeks are going to be more hard for me, as I will be unable to comprehend the mental and physical state of my wife, as she is crushed internally by our growing baby.

All I can do is to pray to all known Gods, and unknown, that they let me see this piece of heaven in her arms, both of them safe and healthy.

How to use a Credit card? Part-I (13/52)

Republic day sales are in full swing in the online sphere. Redmi Note 5 pro is a decent phone priced originally at Rs.17,999/- on both Amazon and Flipkart. As a part of the sale, both of them are selling it at Rs.12,999/-. Flipkart is giving an extra 10% discount on using SBI Credit cards - which means that it is available to me at Rs.11,699/-. They also have NO COST EMI option on SBI Credit cards, which means that I have to pay no interest as long I repay the cost of the device within 6 months.

Long story short, I bought the phone in 6 months NO COST EMI for Rs.11,699/-. I pay my first installment of Rs.1950/- on 7th March 2019. The phone will be delivered to me on 23rd January 2019.

I have to pay Rs.1300 less. And I will have used the phone for 43 days before I pay the first rupee for it. All because I used my Credit card. Now that I have your attention, let's proceed.

***

Let us get the first order of business out of the way. What qualifies me to have a say on the said subject? I have been using a credit card for over 8.5 years now. I don't remember who told me to get a credit card and use it the way I do, but I would praise that person to the high heavens. I've been equipped with a tool of multiple benefits, with the knowledge of how to use it without getting my fingers cut off. I thought I was being selfish in not sharing this information, and so here we are.

Oh!! One more thing. I'm a four year old banker now. So I guess it weighs in my favour to speak on this subject too.

***

There are some terms you have to know before we start though. I thought of giving a dictionary style explanation, but I believe an actual situation would be able to help you understand better.

Suppose that I have a credit card of Rs.50,000/- limit. It means that the total amount I can borrow is Rupees Fifty Thousand.

Suppose the card's billing date is 17th of every month. Any purchase I make will reflect on the bill made on the coming 17th.

The payment date is usually 20 days after the billing date, which in this case is 7th of the subsequent month.

Let's try some examples now, shall we??

Date - 17th January 2019

a. Rs.1,000/- spent to buy petrol.

b. Rs.12,000/- spent online to buy a phone. It is on NO COST EMI. I have to pay Rs.2,000/- for six months.

Date - 18th January 2019

c. Rs.1,000/- spent to buy petrol. (again!!)

Let us assume that "a", "b" and "c" are all the purchases I made in that period. Let us see how my credit card bills look like now. I get a bill for all pending purchases on 17th of every month. The bill is generated at midnight, so it includes all the purchases made on 17th too.

My bill generated on 17th January 2019 will include the transaction "a" and "b". Since "b" is an EMI option, I will be charged only Rs.2,000/- for it. This means that the bill amount is Rs.3,000/-. I would have to pay this amount on the coming 7th, that is, on 7th February 2019.

My bill generated on 17th February 2019 will include the transactions "b" and "c". Again, since "b" is an EMI option, only Rs.2,000/- will be charged. Again, my bill amount is Rs.3,000/-. And my payment date is 7th March 2019.

My bill generated on 17th March 2019 will include the transaction "b" only. Again, since "b" is an EMI option, only Rs.2,000/- will be charged. Again, my bill amount is Rs.2,000/-. And my payment date is 7th April 2019.

If have looked closely, you would see that I paid for the petrol purchased on 17th January 2019 on 7th February 2019, and for the petrol purchased on 18th January 2019 on 7th March 2019. That my friends is the power of the billing cycle.

A note on the credit limit though. The variation of credit limit is as follows:

On 16th January,

Rs.50,000/-.

On 17th January,

after "a" - Rs.49,000/-.

after "b" - Rs.37,000/-. (even though it is on EMI option, the entire amount is reduced from limit)


On 18th January,
after "c" - Rs.36,000/-.

On 7th February,
on making payment of Rs.3,000/- - Rs.39,000/-

On 7th March,
on making payment of Rs.3,000/- - Rs.42,000/-

On 7th April,
on making payment of Rs.3,000/- - Rs.44,000/-

***

In the hope that the above helped you understand the concept of credit limit, billing cycle and payment date, I will take a break for now. Please don't start applying for a credit card just yet. We have only gone through the positives of credit card. Going back to the tool analogy I used before, I have only told how to use a hammer to drive nails in the wall easily. I'm yet to tell you how not to hit your own fingers with it.

You need to look at the Annual Charges, processing fees involved, reward points scheme, and in what manner you can redeem those points before you do that. And I'll help you to understand those points of concern in the next part. The next part which I will post from my new phone. ;)

Generations (12/52)

YOLO - You Only Live Once - was a trend. By the lack of #yolo in social media updates, I guess it is safe for me to assume that the phase has passed. But just today, I was bombarded with not one, but two four letter acronyms.

FOMO - Fear Of Missing Out.

FOGO - Fear Of Going Out.

I fail to understand how my generation missed out on the acronym thing - I guess we were more concerned with omitting vowels from our words and erasing prepositions from our sentences. It was always the need of the hour to convey a higher amount of information at a lesser cost to available resources. That is the reason why our generation shortened "Where are you?" to "whr r u". And I'm pretty sure that the present generation have compressed it further to an acronym by now.

I showed the below picture to someone in the current generation and asked them to identify it. 

With no answers forthcoming, I introduced the Floppy Drive and told that it could hold all of 1.44Mb. The follow up question was unexpected, "What could it hold? Even a picture is of larger size."

It is for this reason that I believe my generation to be the bridge between the old and the new. We are old enough to know what a floppy disk is and how hard it was to use a dial up modem for internet, while at the same time, we are young enough to understand the concept of cloud computing. I first worked on a computer with a 256MB RAM, a 2GB Harddisk and a dial-up internet connection. Now, I own a phone with 8GB RAM, 128GB memory and with two 4G connections.

We know exactly how bad it was to appreciate how good it is now.

***

With all this talk about the Statue of Unity, I happened to find myself in an article, where Sardar Vallabhai Patel was talking about his good friend, Pandit Jawaharlal Nehru as follows:

"...It was, therefore, in the fitness of things that in the twilight preceding the dawn of independence he should have been our leading light, and that when India was faced with crises after crises, following the achievement of our freedom, he should have been the upholder of our faith and the leader of our legions. No one knows better than myself how much he has laboured for his country in the last two years of our difficult existence. I’ve seen him age quickly during that period, on account of the worries of the high office that he holds and the tremendous responsibilities that he wields.

…As one older in years, it has been my privilege to tender advice to him on the manifold problems with which we have been faced in both administrative and organizational fields. I have always found him willing to seek and ready to take it. Contrary to the impression created by some interested persons and eagerly accepted in credulous circles, we have worked together as lifelong friends and colleagues, adjusting ourselves each other’s advice as only those who have confidence in each other can."

I wish we had amongst our current crop of politicians, someone capable of having an erudite discourse like above. And I'm pretty sure that the acronym loving present generation is never going to be so descriptive about their buddy - they would probably say something like "He is YOLO."

***

Someone replied to me with IFKR. Hence, the thread for this post.

Thank you (11/52)

Snip snap, snip snap, It's ringing clear,

Combing out, cutting through my month long harvest.

***

Every damn time. Every damn time that I get my hair cut, these two lines getting on in my head. The two lines above are the offspring of a misguided sense of rhyming and a purpose to achieve poetic excellence, inside the mind of a 12 year old me. With a tune of its own when it is sung in my head, I'm pretty sure that this is as close as it gets to the Smelly Cat song by Phoebe from Friends. Because I do remember my friends reading the lines and making a not-so-offended face. Some even complimented.

Speaking of compliments, Narender who was my hair stylist for the day, decided to shower me with some. "Sir, you have such good thick hair. Not so oily as the other people who come here." And if that wasn't enough, "But your face is oily, which gives you a tan. If you use a oil clear face wash, you will become fairer."

Now, let me be frank with you. I don't know how to handle compliments. Even at the most genuine of compliments, I respond with a weak smile, and a quick word to change the course of the subject. It probably has everything to do with my tendency to analyze everything from a critically pessimistic angle. If you still don't believe me, let me tell you that the first thought that went through my head when Ammu said "I love you" to me was "now what is she planning on gaining from this lie?"

I can accept compliments and the like, as long as they are backed up with verifiable facts and figures. For example, I am okay with the following compliments.

•  "Hari, you are really tall." - I am after all 6 foot plus.
• "You are skinny" - I am below my ideal body weight.
• "You act like a child." - Said right after I spent 10 minutes holding a phone high up in the air, so that a short person can't reach it.
• "You are good at football in FIFA." - I do have my fair share of victories off the pitch
• "You excel in Excel." - well, eight years of spreadsheets surely helped.

But at the same time, the following compliments make me queasy,

• "You are looking fairer/darker than the last time I met you." - from every relative I visit once in a blue moon.
• "You have gained weight since the last time I met you." - see above.
• "You look good in this dress." - This makes me question their sense of fashion. Because the first dress that I brought for myself had two tears through the middle with a red background. And I wore it because I thought it would be cool to look like you have been slashed across your chest by Wolverine

Coming back to Narender, I looked up and said "Thanks" with the sort of confidence I usually reply with when someone compliments my height - thanks to the fact that Ammu has been persistent enough in her endeavor to make me accept some of my better aspects. And I am able to say thanks a bit more openly, freely now.

***

You should say thanks too. To that person who cut you in the queue this past week, so that you coffee was delayed. To that car which stopped at the yellow signal, which meant that you had to wait for the signal to turn green. To that person who attended the interview with you, and got that job ahead of you, which is why you are at your present job. To that baby in the lift with you, who captured your attention for a full three seconds, so that you took the wrong turn on getting off the lift.

All these people made sure that you were late to arrive at where you are now. And wherever you are now is exactly where you are supposed to be at this moment in time. It could be intoxicatingly happy, mindnumbingly mundane, or exasperatingly sad - but whatever you have - health, wealth, happiness, time, family, friends, career, love, a clean conscience - it is because you went through the path you have.

So once again, please do thank those whom you thought acted against you.