5 things I learned this week (Part 12)

Did you know...

1. ... that there is actually something called "Gray's Anatomy"?

This is just in case you've heard of a show on TV called "Grey's Anatomy". I always thought it was a peculiar name for a show, especially since they had no interest in showing the "anatomy" of Grey (who is the female protagonist in the show). I don't know about you, but this is every bit against what you expect from the show on the basis of its title.

But I digress. Gray's Anatomy is the title of a book which was written in 1858, by an Englishman Dr.Gray. This book is considered to be one of the earliest documentation on human anatomy, and is still in print, after nearly 155 years of its first print.

2. ...that Indian doctors successfully removed tumors and performed amputations and other operations, not only over the past few decades, but also during centuries before the birth of Christ?

Indians of the ancient type were something, weren't they?
Apparently, they developed dozens of metal tools, relied on alcohol to dull the patient, and controlled bleeding with hot oil and tar.

But the coolest thing I like about them is giving "zero" to maths, so that, after two millennia, my maths teachers could give them to me. I always wondered how else they would represent the 100s they gave me?? :P

3. ...that the Code of Hammurabi included what were perhaps the first penalties for surgical malpractice?


The Code of Hammurabi was written in the 18th century B.C. It contained the laws governing ancient Babylon. According to this manuscript, doctors who killed a patient when draining an abscess had their hands cut off.

4. ...that there is something called "Perianal Abscess"?

Our trustworthy source, the Wikipedia, defines this state of human condition as having " is an abscess adjacent to the anus". Even though our source defines it in such simple terms, let me assure you, it's anything but so.

5. ...that the above mentioned disease is what happened to me this week, giving this week's blog this medical theme?

Nothing more to say on that.

Now. For this week's blog, I've gone in reverse actually. I'm done with my 5 things for the week. Now, I start on my usually digressive storyline from which I usually reach my topic for the week's blog.

***

You are never going to think about modesty, when you are lying on the operation table with your buttocks exposed to one and all who might cast you a glance. The development of an infection in your nether regions is the worst kind of condition to be in, as you can’t possibly discuss its presence unless the issue becomes unbearable. And since I waited that long, I ended up with a bulbous growth on my butt. I think GOD heard my prayer to make my butt bigger, but used the wrong spell to affect it.

Anyways, coming back to the exposed situation I found myself in, I had just had one dose of glucose injected into me, some blood taken out to do a blood routine test, some antibiotic injected directly under my skin to test my allergies; well, you get the flow. It was at the end of these that the doctors decided that it was time to end my ordeal of four days by a minor operation over “there”, under full anesthesia.

But when I saw the doc coming towards me with some 5-7 syringes in his hand, I immediately felt like I was losing my grip on consciousness. Luckily, the first of those was the anesthesia. I thought I would go blank the way they showed it in the movies. You know, the “fade to black” effect. But what I felt was entirely different. He injected it into me, I looked ahead, saw some equipment before me, it faded a little, I thought “this is it”, and then it cloned into two, and ran off in the opposite direction.

And just like that, for the first time in nearly 25 years on this lovely planet, I lost my hold on my consciousness. I was flying HIGH.

And to be honest about it, I liked it. I’ve never smoked; I’ve never allowed myself to come under the effect of alcohol or drugs, but these 15 minutes of Medical practitioner prescribed ecstasy gave me a peak through the door that lead into those paths – of what makes people get addicted to these intoxicating lifestyles.

Even though I was completely knocked out for under 15 minutes, it felt like hours to me. I dreamt of stuff I’ve no inkling about now. But I remember most of what happened once I got my grip back on myself.

a. I clearly remember asking my friend to shoot this “coming down from the sky” phase of mine; so that I can study it later (he didn’t do that).

b. I also remember asking someone the time, only to not understand what he said in reply (I think he replied in Hindi).

c. I remember recording whatever I was thinking out loud into my phone, but due to my incoherent speech and the rumblings of some fan, the playback sounds more like static than the philosophical outpourings it was meant to be.

d. I clearly remember (and acutely felt) my hand slapping my face, every time I tried to swat away that dogged fly which was trying to irritate me.

e. I remember deciding to make this week’s blog about the medical condition I found myself in (Perianal Abscess).

This condition can occur to anyone, but hasn’t occurred to anyone I know till last week. But it’s a really painful situation to be in, and I felt you should be aware of it. I ignored it for two days, thinking it was some kind of summer boil, but it kept on growing, literally becoming a “pain in the ass”. I went to the doc only after it started hindering my daily activities. I couldn’t shift my posture with wincing in pain.

I’m not going to explain the location/type of the growth, as it will become too explicit, but do go through that Wikipedia page, and get some info on it. One thing that I prayed to GOD in my condition was that this shouldn’t happen even to my enemies. It was that bad a condition, and hopefully, you’ll not have to go through that.

Before I end, I would like to say a few more words about the uninhibited freedom I enjoyed in my unconsciousness. In those fleeting moments, I forgot everything - the pain, my present situation, where I was, my other joys and sorrows - my entire life, if you would allow me to say so. Even though it was quite an enjoyable state, keeping in tune with what friends of mine had already told me, I feel taking drugs is risky business.

Forget the legal problems, being aloof from the world you are in is never going to help you. People who take drugs say it is safer, less of a nuisance maker than alcohol and not harmful to the body. But it hurts your mind, and I think that is a far worse situation to be in.

Well, that's all from me for this week folks!!

Have a Great Weekend!!!