Seven Stages of Love

Being the flavour of the season, the word 'LOVE' has been overly exploited already. From TV ads to V-day cards, everything is being painted bright red. So, I'll go straight to the point and leave out the boring niceties.

The whole idea of this post came from one simple idea. I then blew it up, and made up stuff to fit with that model. This is what you would call Reverse Engineering. It's something like what you would do for the numerous 'Prove that LHS = RHS' questions we have had encountered in the Mathematics exams. We know were we are supposed to arrive at. We just try to find a way to get there.

So, here's the things that I made up - The Seven Stages of LOVE.

*** This analysis was performed by observing various relationships. The lack of first hand experience might be telling on the final result ***

1. Sa - First sight

Nothing much special here. Statistics state that the average man sees about 547.4 faces everyday. But I don't think I need to use a statistic to convince you that we see a lot of faces everyday, most of them unfamiliar - and most of them go unobserved. But if when you observe a particular face, you feel something in your heart, that, THAT, my dear friend, is the first sight of love.

2. Ri - Finding out

Also known as the 'Goosebumps' stage, this stage in Love is one of suspense. You know you love her, and you want to know if it will be returned in kind. So, you basically need to ask her about it. I was once mad enough to write about 13 different ways to propose, so I won't be making the same mistake here. Please refer my other blog in case you are hell bent on reading it.

3. Ga - The 'Rose tinted Glass' stage

If you have reached this stage, Congratulations!!! You are among the lucky few to have their love returned in kind, from the person they want it to come from. I call this the 'Rose tinted Glass' stage, cos the lovebirds fly carelessly through the sky. It's the best among the stages, as you can find no wrong in the other. The other is perfect as far as you are concerned.

4. Ma - Break up

And then you start meeting the imperfections in the other. It's not a sudden process - it's a gradual gathering of facts, mostly from unpleasant encounters. But the actual act of break up is sudden. The pent up frustrations gains vent in a single moment, and becomes something more than it is supposed to be.

5. Pa - Healing

We've already talked about this stage in an earlier blog. This is the stage which requires your friends to be at the very best. They must console, cajole and ultimately convince you that this is just a phase in life, and that it too will come to pass.

6. Dha - Coming to terms

And when it passes, you'll come to terms with the situation. This is again like the Break up stage. It does a hit and run on you. At some point of your 'Healing' stage, you'll realize that this was how it would have turned out after all, that this was necessary part of your relationship. And then you'll find peace.

7. Ni - Getting ready for more

Again, a stage which takes it time to pass. You've decided to let bygones be bygones. But, you are not yet to commit yourself into something new yet. You take your time dawdling in other stuff, hoping that one day, you'll be ready to love again.

***

When I had put forward this idea to a friend of mine, I was asked how I would explain people being in Love in the institution of Marriage. Especially when the stages included a phase involving Break-up explicitly. And I've given you the answer already.

In case you missed the hints I had lavishly laid out for you, I've equated each stage of Love with a 'Swara'. And what do you think happens after the 7th swara - the swara's repeat themselves, starting from 'Sa' on a higher octave.

Just like the swaras, Love repeats itself, at a different level - maybe with the same person, maybe with someone else. You would have seen your parents/your friends have a big quarrel with their significant other, and then patch things up after some time, and continue with their lives like before. That's them going back to stage one after stage seven.

And that's what I wish for you on this special day. I wish for you to have someone special, so that you can fall in Love with them, over and over and over again... and then again...

'til later.

Best of the unwritten (5 things - Week 27)

***The introduction was written two weeks back. So, if you would keep that in mind, THAT'D BE GREAT***

If you were to look to the left of this space, you would see the list of the 'Top Ten Posts'. The condition for making that list is to steadily garner views on the site, so that you can displace one of the present incumbents.

The 5 things post from last week, 'Salute' has been steadily climbing up the list, and at the time of writing is sitting at second position. I am extremely thankful for all the positive feedback I've got for it. It sure does mean a lot to me. That was a post which had been laying around in my mind for a long time.

Speaking of the unwritten, there are about 10 odd subjects I have wanted to write about for this series, but still haven't got around to yet. And I am yet to fulfill my promise of writing the 27th post in this series, which I missed, having gone down with a case of Jaundice. Well, today's your lucky day. I'm trying to make things right for both of them by combination. This post is going to be about the better topics I've not written about yet - THE BEST OF THE UNWRITTEN.

***

1. Nicknames

The earliest nickname I remember someone give me was 'Lake superior'. There's a story behind that. They were holding this quiz during a free hour when we were in 7th I think. And the answer to some question was Lake Superior, and I happened to answer it correctly. But the way I answered it got me a nickname that stuck around for a few months. Lots have followed it since - some long standing ones like 'Kodakambi', some memorable ones like 'Harisa', some mocking ones like 'Kanji', some endearing ones like 'Melman', etc etc.

There is a story behind each and everyone of that, and they'll be worth a blog some time in the future.

*Kodakami literally means the metal structure of an umbrella. The idea behind it was that I was as thin.

2. Sachin

The idea for this came around at the time HE retired from the game. There has been enough written about him, by people far for qualified, that I don't think a regular factual post from me was required.

It is said that the whole of India waits with bated breath when this LEGEND walks out to bat. My idea was to note down what I was doing when he reached certain milestones. Like how my friends and myself waited in the college, while he hit the first ODI double century. We could have gone and watched it live, but I had said we would jinx the innings by watching it live. Not taking a chance, my friends kept me prisoner there, and I thank Sachin for hitting the 200, as that ensured that I wouldn't get crushed to pulp.

3. Cricket

Talking about the game, I recently played 'Odd or Even' at a funeral. That wasn't meant to be insensitive, just that the source of the idea was that. This 8 year old came up to me and asked me if I could play the game, as he didn't have any company.

This got me thinking about the various non-conventional, mostly non-physical ways we use to play cricket. Odd or Even, ABCDEFG, Book cricket make up the non physical ones, while one pitch and the personal variation that our college batch made to one pitch, the Panchara Cricket make up the others.

4. Train memories

It might seem blatantly narcissistic, but even though I lived 3000 miles away from home, I had not travelled in a train in a long time. That was until a few weeks before, and it got me thinking about all the wonderful memories the train has given me. There's 'Rocking me to sleep', 'Eating whatever comes along', 'Reading books on the long journeys' and more. 

5. Fashion Disasters

If you have seen me, you would notice that I don't care much about the way I dress or how I present myself. There has been a long line of Fashion Disasters from yours truly, none more spectacular than the first tshirt that I bought. It had three cuttings across the chest, and inside was a red cloth. The look it gave was as if I was recently slashed by the Wolverine. I still can't understand what compelled me to buy that tshirt.

***

And it is a tight finish. The 10th of February ends in 20 odd minutes and I've just got through.

Now, I just hope I'll be able to complete the two posts I'm supposed to finish for the 14th. Wish me luck.

'til later then.

D.I.Y. (5 things - Week 45)

D.I.Y. It means 'Do It Yourself'. Well, at least it should mean that too.

And why DIY you may ask. Well, my headphone's right speaker gave out the other day and I had to make a choice. My first option would be to give it a few hits, shake it a bit, check if it starts working. If not, I'll scrap it and go for a new headphone like I've always done in my life. But due to the present financial situation of limited resources and no emolument, I was forced onto the other option - of trying to fix it myself. Hence, DIY.

It was a nice experience to say the least. And now, I'll go and tell you about a few such experiences that I've had till now.

***

1. Remote Controlled Car

Throughout my early school years, I used to envy my friends who had uncles in the Gulf. These uncles had a habit of bringing goodies for these nephews. Goodies like pens, sunglasses and watches, but more importantly toys. I used to bemoan my luck of being born in a Uncle-living-in-the-Gulf-less family. But that all changed when a friend of my father, who worked in Gulf, came to our house one day. He had with him a remote controlled car, which was presented to my bother, sorry, brother.

Since we had explicitly agreed terms on not using each other's toys recently, I was deprived of the use of the said car. Anyways, I was free to use it when he slept, and it was during one such instance that the front wheel got stuck. I performed some DIY there. If you want the result in one sentence, it would be that my brother still holds me responsible for destroying his first remote controlled toy.

2. CD Player

I've this habit of hearing music while doing work, any work. I've music blaring into my ears right now. That issue can, and will, be the topic of a post one day. Anyways, this DIY happened when I was in 11th I think. One of my new possession was a China made CD player. And like you would have guessed, it suddenly started developing hiccups one day.

This was how I came up with the First option that I mentioned before. I hit it with my exam board, more than a few times. And with that it was dead completely.

Well, that what my parents think. It still worked with hiccups after those hits. Then for some reason, I decided that throwing the cricket ball on it would make it work. That, truly was the end of it.

3. Project X

No. Project X is not the top secret mission I worked on for the ... Oh.. Never mind. Project X was a competition item I participated in 2010. The aim of the competition was to design a vehicle to travel around a circuit. They gave us four wheels, some thermocol and two big magnets to get the work done. Excellent work from my teammates ensured that we had a decent specimen to present for the challenge.

The problem arose when they started putting humps on the track and our bot started hitting them and stopping. While my friends went over to take up the issue with the organizers, I decided to some DIY. To this day I remember my friend screaming 'NOOOOOOOOO!!!' as I tore off a chunk of the thermocol on the front of the vehicle to give it a more aerodynamic shape. Needless to say, our vehicle refused to move on the track after that, and I had a hard time convincing my friends to forgive me.

4. Unicorn Bike

No, I didn't do a DIY on a whole Unicorn bike. Actually, this story is not even about a goof up of mine. This was carried out by my juniors. They owned among themselves two Honda Unicorn bikes. And one of these bikes was not used [Again, a whole another story by itself]. And on one fine Sunday evening, the working Unicorn was found to have been stuck with a case of a flat back tire.

Being a bunch of adventurous people, these five men, led by a Mechanical Engineer none the less, went ahead to perform a DIY. They removed the back wheel from the bike that wasn't used, and put it in place on the working one. They did a very commendable job, with just one little problem. The wheel wouldn't budge on its axis.

5. Rain check

If you would remember the very first post from 5 things series, for the fifth point I said, "for the present future, I don’t have a fifth point to tell you?". It's the same case now. Sorry.

***

Let me say this out loud, as I think that's the only way I would go ahead and write these two posts that I've been undecided on for quite some time. On 10th February, you'll get the part 27 of this series, which was supposed to have come out during the first week of October. And on February 14th, you'll be getting back-to-back posts. One post will be the usual 5 things post. The other post will be on 'The SEVEN stages of LOVE'. No points for guessing why I'm releasing it on that day.

***

Let me present to you two mutually exclusive items before I take your leave.

My friend : 'Dude. Remember. Beggars can't be choosers.'

Yours truly : 'Well, in that case, I'm a very choosy beggar.'

***

***

Well, that's it for this week.

You all have a great weekend.

'til next week.

Follow up advice (5 things - Week 44)

People always say that the toughest thing to do in any field is to get an opening - have the first hit, if I may use that term. But from my personal experience, the toughest thing is to handle your first flop. We have had instances of so many one hit wonders that I don't feel a specific need to create a detailed list of it. If you need one, let us take the example of this blog itself.

I wouldn't call it a one hit wonder now, but there was a time when I was afraid to write the next post because people appreciated the last one. I put upon myself such unnecessary pressures that I shrunk away from my writing. I know that that in itself is crazy, but you know me na.

And I'm pretty sure this is the case with most of the things in the world. If you are putting yourself under the scrutiny of the public's eye, you'll be forced to perform at 110%. Always. And unless you are a superhuman being, it is impossible to perform at such a high standard. And even the superhuman beings we know and adore, have come up with their fare share of duds.

Again, coming back to the case of this blog, I've been warned and advised a number of times that writing every week is suicide - that people will find most of the posts to be stale, and whatever good post that I would write in between would go unnoticed. And they have.

But do know why I still write weekly?? It's because if I don't write weekly, I would lapse back to my old habit of not writing at all, as I wouldn't want to bring forth unworthy posts into this world. The only reason that I'm writing good posts here is because I'm writing every week.

So, again from my personal experience, if I had to give you one advice this week, it would be this. If you love doing something, keep trying without fearing for the result. It might be awesome, it might be sh*t. But all that matters is that you did something you love.

***

Talking about things I love to do, one of my favorite pass times is to give advice - ask any of my friends. I won't say that each and every one of these said advices have resulted in the concerned person benefiting from it, but the successes are more than the failures. For this week, I'll be recounting five special advices that I've given and have been given to me.

1. Then, my friend said "Throw this bottle at him."

And I did. And that bottle hit 'him' in the eye. And he had to be taken to the hospital. Luckily for him, and me, there wasn't any serious damage. He had to take a week's rest with that eye, and it would come back to normal. Well, the eye did get back to normal, but our friendship didn't. That day in 8th standard was the last time I remember talking to my then best friend. It was never the same, with acquaintancial smiles and uncomfortable silences being the only thing we shared afterwards. All because I took this advice from someone as I chased my then best friend through the class for some now inconsequential remark he had made then.

2. "I think you should break it up with him/her."

This little sentence have been used by me a million times - well, maybe not a million times, but still frequently enough to make it feel like so. And I've to say, it has worked wonders. Wonders as in how stubborn people can be when they think they are in love. Deprived of the balanced evaluation a third party can offer, they, more often than not, ignore this advice. So you can't blame them, since anyone in such a situation will ignore this advice. The end result is they end up heartbroken, and I've to give the next advice.

3. "You should forget about him/her. He/she was never good for you."

This is often delivered with a hint of "Told you so.". But this is one of the worst situation you can be in. You are happy at being proven right, but it is your friend who is sitting in front of you heartbroken. And so begins the healing process - the fifth stage of love.

*There are seven stages of love. It's a post I'm working on. Hopefully, it'll be seeing daylight soon.

4. Said my friend to me, "You look like him and the storyline matches too. You should make a video like this."

The actor was Salim Kumar and the video in question was 'Palavattam' by Vineeth Srinivasan and co. A casual remark was taken at the face value of an advice and the video 'Pinneyum Palavattam' was born. The story behind it has been recounted here already. The video is given below.

5. The last one would be "Ignore what he's saying. If you want to reply to him, send it to me and get it out of your system."

Not the best advice I've given, considering I had to hear an earful for somebody else's action, but still it had to be done. Two of my good friends were having a very public war of words on an online forum, and this was the only way I could find to stop them from humiliating themselves in front of the public. Like I said, not the best advice from me.

***

And so, just to let you know, I'm here in case you need any advice.

***

Well, that's it for this week.

You all have a great weekend.

'til next week.

Salute (5 things - Week 43)

In less than 30 hours, we'll all be waking up to the 64th year of being a Republic Nation. Even though most of us are guilty of exhibiting our patriotism only on such special occasions, I personally believe that it is the evidence of the fact that the present generation can be arsed to make a contribution to the nation, if and when an situation arises.

And on that note, we shall head onto this week's post.

***

1. This happened when I was in school, maybe when I was in 10th or so. We were on the way back in our school bus, and for some odd reason, we were playing a game of quiz. Again, for some reason, I happened to ask a 9th standard kid when India got it's independence. Such a simple question you might think, but wait till you hear what he replied - '26th January, 1947'.

We have had comedians mix up numbers and dates to force a joke out of a stale situation, but this kid was serious when he said that. And on that note, I would like us all, myself included to go to wikipedia, search for India, and read these things. I'm not questioning your knowledge of the basics, but I just want us all to reinforce them, so that we may never have to face such an embarrassing situation.

2. This happened two week back. I went to a cinema hall to watch a recently released film. It wasn't houseful or anything - just enough people for it to be called a crowd. Anyways, I was pleasently surprised to see the following video being shown before the screening of the movie.

I recommend that you watch that video at least once. For those of you unwilling to spare the time, that video shows a school assembly 'singing' the National Anthem. The speciality is that the kids are mute, and they use sign language to perform the anthem. To say the least, it moves you.

Back to the theatre, the crowd got up, and respected the national anthem. It was a heart warming experience, which I hoped to be a part of again. And that brings us to the movie I went to see today.

It has been running houseful since it was released, and I had to wait so long to get a ticket. Even though I wasn't disappointed by the movie, I was more than a little put off by the fact that they didn't show the anthem. I hope that they start doing so soon.

3. The one video that my generation grew up watching and singing, from the Mozart of Madras himself.

But I can't stop recommending this video. Watch this, even if you already done so once.

4. An Independence day experience from a fellow blogger - '१५ अगस्त'. It is in Hindi, so please excuse us if you find it hard to read and/or comprehend.

5. Now, this may not be something you find in a normal post about being patriotic about India, but then again I've always maintained a minimum level of absurdity and craziness. And so, I'm going to talk about Pakistan in this post about India. And that too in a positive way.

A news garnered much attention a few weeks back when a boy in Pakistan, stopped a suicide bomber from blowing up his school - even though he had to lay down his life. He knew that if the bomber was allowed to proceed, then the number of casualties would be very high. Since something had to be done quickly, he went to stop him by himself, in spite of the repeated requests of his friends to alert the authorities, and not to risk his life.

I wish that if such a situation ever arose in front of me, I would have the courage like him to do what he did. And I wish that it be the same for each and every one of us.

***

So, ladies and gentlemen, boys and gals, go out and celebrate.

***

Well, that's it for this week.

You all have a great weekend.

'til next week.