Where's the snooze button?? (5 things - Week 48)

I've been back on the wheel for a whole week now. Having schedules to meet, stuff to brush up on, meeting new people, getting up at a fixed time in the morning, etc etc. You could call these the chores of an average individual, and it is nothing but that. But after enjoying the forbidden pleasures of indulging in absolute laziness, having to jump back on the wheel showed the expected glitches of moaning from yours truly. Hence the cliche, "Where's the snooze button?".

Somewhere in the past week, I heard something that I really liked. "Living in this world is like trying to force yourself to run up a escalator. You are successful as long as you keep running. But the second you stop to celebrate your triumph, you are knocked back on your arse. So, keep moving forward."

Don't get me wrong, I've not suddenly started supporting the rat race, or that, I'm against it. My personal opinion on all subjects, let it be the current topic of rat race, politics, religion or homosexuality is the same - "To each his own." But I'm always against people trying to enforce their opinion on you. You can make a case for your viewpoint in a sane, logical manner, and I'll be all ears for it. I'll hear it out, I'll think over it and if I find your points to be genuine, I'll support you.

But if you try to forcefully convert me to achieve some personal glory, then please don't blame me if I turn a deaf ear to what you say. And if you think that this whole rant is because I'm sick of all these sms forwards/ whatsapp messages/ emails related to the impending Lok Sabha elections, then I won't say that you are wrong.

And in case you were wondering where my loyalties lie, if I had to press a button on the voting machine, I would prefer it to be for the "NONE OF THE ABOVE" option.

RANT OVER.

And we shall get back to the task of this post. The "5 things" for this week is now coming your way.

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1. Recursive Acronym

The expansion of the acronym GNU is [Gnu is] Not Unix.

Simple right, but also extremely intriguing in its concept. Anything recursive has always captured my imagination. From the time I had to write loops in computer programming, I took immense pleasure to sent the artificial intelligence into a fit by writing infinite loops. And when I heard of this concept, the first thing, okay the second thing that came to my mind was posting it here for you. The first thing was to check if there are more like it. There is.

2. "Is there a mall at Kazhakootam?"

One of the punch lines this week. And it came from a classmate at the CDAC course, Rachit. He's from Delhi, and by the looks of the Technopark campus, where we have our classes, he expected the surrounding area to have at least a mall, where the techies can go off to have some fun. Thursday being a holiday, he wanted to get around the place as well as do some shopping. And it was for this purpose that he called me on Thursday morning and asked me the above.

My first reaction was to laugh at the preposterous nature of the question (since Trivandrum is still waiting for its first official mall, there being many mall-like buildings). But later, I was apologetic for the lack of a mall in my favorite city, and offered to help him around the main shopping areas in the city. He is yet to take me up on that offer, though that might be due to the fact that he will have to travel almost 10+ km to reach here.

3. Godwin's Law

Godwin's Law states that "As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches 1."

Interesting because I've seen it happen on many a forum. The said Nazi name calling might be in its pure form, or in some derived form like Grammar Nazi. Talking about derived forms of Nazi, for the Seinfeld fans out there, hope you remember this guy.

Soup Nazi !!!

Anyways, we can all be safe in the knowledge that Godwin's Law doesn't apply to this site. There has to be a discussion for that probability meter to start working.

4. Man and Machine - Power Extreme.

Sorry. That was due to the good old Centurions catch phrase.

What I intended to convey with my poorly constructed excuse of a heading was that not only have I started gaining weight after coming back home, but some similar improvements have been noticeable in my machine, the Avenger. The bike, which used to give about 35-38 km per litre of petrol I pour in it, had been pushing that number upwards of 40 ever since I got here. And after the past week, when I had to travel about 30km of the NH 47 every day, this has been found to reach 47.34* kmpl. The * is to indicate that the measurements are still ongoing.

If I were a person interested in statistics, I would have told you that this was a 29.69% increase on the previous average. But I'm not, so I'll not. Anyways, it's good for me in this period of enforced austerity.

5. Inside out

I came to know about a discovery that a friend of mine has made recently. He claims that he has found a way to increase the life of the undergarments that he uses. If you can't put the last sentence and the point topic together to get what he meant, you are one lucky ***.

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Well, that's it for this week.

You all have a great weekend.

'til next week.

Throwback (5 things - Week 47)

We are going retro this week. This series was actually started to talk about "5 things I learned"  this week. Since my skills in observation and deduction, or even just plain mugging up, are sort of pathetic, I had to shift my motto for this post to what it is presently - blabbering about anything and everything. So, enjoy a throwback to the early 2013's.. ;) :D

***

Did you know..

1. .. that my vacation comes to an end in 24 hours?

For the past two months, I've been as lazy as lazy can be. The most responsible thing I had to do was to write out these blogs in time. But in 24 hours, I begin my classes. The distance education MBA classes begin on Sunday, and another 24 hours later, my course on Embedded Systems begins. Enough to say that I've to pick up my Monday to Friday routine again from next week, with added task of the Sunday classes. It truly is the end of my last all lazy vacation.

2. ... that you can never be sure in life??

I remember classifying my post-BTech, pre-Job era as the last all lazy vacation of my life. And you find me filing off my present vacation in the same name. No one, not even myself, would have predicted that I would go for the jugular and force myself to quit my job and turn my life into an entirely new, different direction.

At times like these, I remember what my school VP telling our class, "The only thing you can be sure of in life is Change."

3. ... that I'm 73.5kgs now??

If you would remember from a post a few weeks before, I had claimed that my weight has gone up in the past two months. I checked it yesterday and it was 73.5kgs. You may ask why this is such a big deal. For a guy who has been stuck at or around 65kg for the past 12 years, this is nothing short of monumental.

4. ... that there are problems cos of this weight increase??

I've estimated about 5 kgs of this increase in my weight to be concentrated on the one pack I'm sporting these days. The result is that the formal pants (that I had to hang on my hip bones using a belt) are now bursting. All in a span of two months. And the saddest part is that I had a formal pant which I was yet to wear for the first time. I've planned to make an unplanned effort to reduce the tummy so that I can use that pant.

5. ... that the best people in the world are near to you??

"Sach me" I don't have any explicit examples to prove that. It's something you'll have to take my word for. 

***

It's better to learn WISDOM late, than never to learn it at all.

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Well, that's it for this week.

You all have a great weekend.

'til next week.

How many kilometers between the richest temple in the world and the temple which has the largest gathering of women in the world?? (5 things - Week 46)

2.6 kilometers says Google.

If you don't know the temples I've just mentioned, the richest temple in the world is Sree Padmanabhaswamy Temple and the temple which holds the Guinness world record for the largest gathering of women is Attukal Temple.

And on the 16th of February 2014, the Attukal Temple celebrates the 'Pongala' festival. I hear you think, "What is a Pongala?". Well, for performing Pongala, a devotee prepares a food item for the deity on the auspicious day. This is usually preceded or post-ceded by a request. This request asks for an assurance from the deity in carrying out some task.

In this week's 5 things, we'll have a look through the five things related to this festival.

***

1. Attukal Amma

The presiding deity. She is supposed to be an incarnation of Parvati. The story behind how the temple came about to be is also related to the story of Kannaki. At least, that is what the wikipedia page says. Don't hold me guilty of not knowing the history. From what people say about the Goddess, and from my own personal experience, I know one sure thing. "Villichal villi kelkuna devi aanu." [She's a Goddess who hears your calls.]

2. Pots

Ahhh!! What would this festival be without the pots. The 2.6km that I had mentioned before, along with countless other roads in this city, have their footpaths decked out with pots. This is for preparing the prasad in. It is quite the sight.

3. Food

So, what happens to all this prasad that gets prepared?? Well, that's were the young ones in the family come in. Since most of these items are sweet in nature, those heavier in the age column find it hard to consume more than a little. This leaves open the opportunity for the young ones to finish them off. And like kids in a candy store, we eat - we eat left, right and center. We eat till there's nothing left.

Looking forward to eating this sweet on Sunday.

4. Family

Like mentioned earlier, this festival is a quite a big affair in this part of the world. So, everyone in the family gets together. While the women folk are busy preparing the pongala, the men would be responsible for the daily duties within the household, including preparing food for everyone. The kids would be left to their own, with their mothers busy with the pongala, and the fathers swamped trying to make some kind of lunch.

5. The Ladies

What would this festival be without them. They turn out in hordes; they brave the heat; they go about their task with utmost devotion; they are the symbol of this festival. And it is said that nearly 3 million women will take part in this year's festival on Sunday. More than the Guinness records, what amazes me the most is the monumental effort  that this city makes to provide as much comfort as possible for these women. Hats off to you, Thiruvananthapuram.

Womenfolk leaving the city after offering Pongala.

***

I had promised you three blog posts this week, and here I'm finishing off the third one off in time. The Part 27 of this series which was skipped at its supposed release date was brought out as "Best of the unwritten" on Monday. And earlier today, to some welcome positive acclaim, was released, as promised, the "Seven stages of LOVE". Thanks for reading.

***

That's all for this week. I'm off to celebrate what has become the festival of the city of Thiruvananthapuram. Let the festivities begin.

'til next week,

Seven Stages of Love

Being the flavour of the season, the word 'LOVE' has been overly exploited already. From TV ads to V-day cards, everything is being painted bright red. So, I'll go straight to the point and leave out the boring niceties.

The whole idea of this post came from one simple idea. I then blew it up, and made up stuff to fit with that model. This is what you would call Reverse Engineering. It's something like what you would do for the numerous 'Prove that LHS = RHS' questions we have had encountered in the Mathematics exams. We know were we are supposed to arrive at. We just try to find a way to get there.

So, here's the things that I made up - The Seven Stages of LOVE.

*** This analysis was performed by observing various relationships. The lack of first hand experience might be telling on the final result ***

1. Sa - First sight

Nothing much special here. Statistics state that the average man sees about 547.4 faces everyday. But I don't think I need to use a statistic to convince you that we see a lot of faces everyday, most of them unfamiliar - and most of them go unobserved. But if when you observe a particular face, you feel something in your heart, that, THAT, my dear friend, is the first sight of love.

2. Ri - Finding out

Also known as the 'Goosebumps' stage, this stage in Love is one of suspense. You know you love her, and you want to know if it will be returned in kind. So, you basically need to ask her about it. I was once mad enough to write about 13 different ways to propose, so I won't be making the same mistake here. Please refer my other blog in case you are hell bent on reading it.

3. Ga - The 'Rose tinted Glass' stage

If you have reached this stage, Congratulations!!! You are among the lucky few to have their love returned in kind, from the person they want it to come from. I call this the 'Rose tinted Glass' stage, cos the lovebirds fly carelessly through the sky. It's the best among the stages, as you can find no wrong in the other. The other is perfect as far as you are concerned.

4. Ma - Break up

And then you start meeting the imperfections in the other. It's not a sudden process - it's a gradual gathering of facts, mostly from unpleasant encounters. But the actual act of break up is sudden. The pent up frustrations gains vent in a single moment, and becomes something more than it is supposed to be.

5. Pa - Healing

We've already talked about this stage in an earlier blog. This is the stage which requires your friends to be at the very best. They must console, cajole and ultimately convince you that this is just a phase in life, and that it too will come to pass.

6. Dha - Coming to terms

And when it passes, you'll come to terms with the situation. This is again like the Break up stage. It does a hit and run on you. At some point of your 'Healing' stage, you'll realize that this was how it would have turned out after all, that this was necessary part of your relationship. And then you'll find peace.

7. Ni - Getting ready for more

Again, a stage which takes it time to pass. You've decided to let bygones be bygones. But, you are not yet to commit yourself into something new yet. You take your time dawdling in other stuff, hoping that one day, you'll be ready to love again.

***

When I had put forward this idea to a friend of mine, I was asked how I would explain people being in Love in the institution of Marriage. Especially when the stages included a phase involving Break-up explicitly. And I've given you the answer already.

In case you missed the hints I had lavishly laid out for you, I've equated each stage of Love with a 'Swara'. And what do you think happens after the 7th swara - the swara's repeat themselves, starting from 'Sa' on a higher octave.

Just like the swaras, Love repeats itself, at a different level - maybe with the same person, maybe with someone else. You would have seen your parents/your friends have a big quarrel with their significant other, and then patch things up after some time, and continue with their lives like before. That's them going back to stage one after stage seven.

And that's what I wish for you on this special day. I wish for you to have someone special, so that you can fall in Love with them, over and over and over again... and then again...

'til later.

Best of the unwritten (5 things - Week 27)

***The introduction was written two weeks back. So, if you would keep that in mind, THAT'D BE GREAT***

If you were to look to the left of this space, you would see the list of the 'Top Ten Posts'. The condition for making that list is to steadily garner views on the site, so that you can displace one of the present incumbents.

The 5 things post from last week, 'Salute' has been steadily climbing up the list, and at the time of writing is sitting at second position. I am extremely thankful for all the positive feedback I've got for it. It sure does mean a lot to me. That was a post which had been laying around in my mind for a long time.

Speaking of the unwritten, there are about 10 odd subjects I have wanted to write about for this series, but still haven't got around to yet. And I am yet to fulfill my promise of writing the 27th post in this series, which I missed, having gone down with a case of Jaundice. Well, today's your lucky day. I'm trying to make things right for both of them by combination. This post is going to be about the better topics I've not written about yet - THE BEST OF THE UNWRITTEN.

***

1. Nicknames

The earliest nickname I remember someone give me was 'Lake superior'. There's a story behind that. They were holding this quiz during a free hour when we were in 7th I think. And the answer to some question was Lake Superior, and I happened to answer it correctly. But the way I answered it got me a nickname that stuck around for a few months. Lots have followed it since - some long standing ones like 'Kodakambi', some memorable ones like 'Harisa', some mocking ones like 'Kanji', some endearing ones like 'Melman', etc etc.

There is a story behind each and everyone of that, and they'll be worth a blog some time in the future.

*Kodakami literally means the metal structure of an umbrella. The idea behind it was that I was as thin.

2. Sachin

The idea for this came around at the time HE retired from the game. There has been enough written about him, by people far for qualified, that I don't think a regular factual post from me was required.

It is said that the whole of India waits with bated breath when this LEGEND walks out to bat. My idea was to note down what I was doing when he reached certain milestones. Like how my friends and myself waited in the college, while he hit the first ODI double century. We could have gone and watched it live, but I had said we would jinx the innings by watching it live. Not taking a chance, my friends kept me prisoner there, and I thank Sachin for hitting the 200, as that ensured that I wouldn't get crushed to pulp.

3. Cricket

Talking about the game, I recently played 'Odd or Even' at a funeral. That wasn't meant to be insensitive, just that the source of the idea was that. This 8 year old came up to me and asked me if I could play the game, as he didn't have any company.

This got me thinking about the various non-conventional, mostly non-physical ways we use to play cricket. Odd or Even, ABCDEFG, Book cricket make up the non physical ones, while one pitch and the personal variation that our college batch made to one pitch, the Panchara Cricket make up the others.

4. Train memories

It might seem blatantly narcissistic, but even though I lived 3000 miles away from home, I had not travelled in a train in a long time. That was until a few weeks before, and it got me thinking about all the wonderful memories the train has given me. There's 'Rocking me to sleep', 'Eating whatever comes along', 'Reading books on the long journeys' and more. 

5. Fashion Disasters

If you have seen me, you would notice that I don't care much about the way I dress or how I present myself. There has been a long line of Fashion Disasters from yours truly, none more spectacular than the first tshirt that I bought. It had three cuttings across the chest, and inside was a red cloth. The look it gave was as if I was recently slashed by the Wolverine. I still can't understand what compelled me to buy that tshirt.

***

And it is a tight finish. The 10th of February ends in 20 odd minutes and I've just got through.

Now, I just hope I'll be able to complete the two posts I'm supposed to finish for the 14th. Wish me luck.

'til later then.

D.I.Y. (5 things - Week 45)

D.I.Y. It means 'Do It Yourself'. Well, at least it should mean that too.

And why DIY you may ask. Well, my headphone's right speaker gave out the other day and I had to make a choice. My first option would be to give it a few hits, shake it a bit, check if it starts working. If not, I'll scrap it and go for a new headphone like I've always done in my life. But due to the present financial situation of limited resources and no emolument, I was forced onto the other option - of trying to fix it myself. Hence, DIY.

It was a nice experience to say the least. And now, I'll go and tell you about a few such experiences that I've had till now.

***

1. Remote Controlled Car

Throughout my early school years, I used to envy my friends who had uncles in the Gulf. These uncles had a habit of bringing goodies for these nephews. Goodies like pens, sunglasses and watches, but more importantly toys. I used to bemoan my luck of being born in a Uncle-living-in-the-Gulf-less family. But that all changed when a friend of my father, who worked in Gulf, came to our house one day. He had with him a remote controlled car, which was presented to my bother, sorry, brother.

Since we had explicitly agreed terms on not using each other's toys recently, I was deprived of the use of the said car. Anyways, I was free to use it when he slept, and it was during one such instance that the front wheel got stuck. I performed some DIY there. If you want the result in one sentence, it would be that my brother still holds me responsible for destroying his first remote controlled toy.

2. CD Player

I've this habit of hearing music while doing work, any work. I've music blaring into my ears right now. That issue can, and will, be the topic of a post one day. Anyways, this DIY happened when I was in 11th I think. One of my new possession was a China made CD player. And like you would have guessed, it suddenly started developing hiccups one day.

This was how I came up with the First option that I mentioned before. I hit it with my exam board, more than a few times. And with that it was dead completely.

Well, that what my parents think. It still worked with hiccups after those hits. Then for some reason, I decided that throwing the cricket ball on it would make it work. That, truly was the end of it.

3. Project X

No. Project X is not the top secret mission I worked on for the ... Oh.. Never mind. Project X was a competition item I participated in 2010. The aim of the competition was to design a vehicle to travel around a circuit. They gave us four wheels, some thermocol and two big magnets to get the work done. Excellent work from my teammates ensured that we had a decent specimen to present for the challenge.

The problem arose when they started putting humps on the track and our bot started hitting them and stopping. While my friends went over to take up the issue with the organizers, I decided to some DIY. To this day I remember my friend screaming 'NOOOOOOOOO!!!' as I tore off a chunk of the thermocol on the front of the vehicle to give it a more aerodynamic shape. Needless to say, our vehicle refused to move on the track after that, and I had a hard time convincing my friends to forgive me.

4. Unicorn Bike

No, I didn't do a DIY on a whole Unicorn bike. Actually, this story is not even about a goof up of mine. This was carried out by my juniors. They owned among themselves two Honda Unicorn bikes. And one of these bikes was not used [Again, a whole another story by itself]. And on one fine Sunday evening, the working Unicorn was found to have been stuck with a case of a flat back tire.

Being a bunch of adventurous people, these five men, led by a Mechanical Engineer none the less, went ahead to perform a DIY. They removed the back wheel from the bike that wasn't used, and put it in place on the working one. They did a very commendable job, with just one little problem. The wheel wouldn't budge on its axis.

5. Rain check

If you would remember the very first post from 5 things series, for the fifth point I said, "for the present future, I don’t have a fifth point to tell you?". It's the same case now. Sorry.

***

Let me say this out loud, as I think that's the only way I would go ahead and write these two posts that I've been undecided on for quite some time. On 10th February, you'll get the part 27 of this series, which was supposed to have come out during the first week of October. And on February 14th, you'll be getting back-to-back posts. One post will be the usual 5 things post. The other post will be on 'The SEVEN stages of LOVE'. No points for guessing why I'm releasing it on that day.

***

Let me present to you two mutually exclusive items before I take your leave.

My friend : 'Dude. Remember. Beggars can't be choosers.'

Yours truly : 'Well, in that case, I'm a very choosy beggar.'

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Well, that's it for this week.

You all have a great weekend.

'til next week.