3 Random Things - Week 7

Cry.

Do  you remember crying for a feeling other than that of pain or sadness? Out of frustration perhaps, maybe out of helplessness, probably out of a dawning realisation that you are insignificant in the grand scheme of things. Sometimes even out of happiness?

I've. We all have.

***

November

When you don't feel at ease with the state of your professional and your personal life, you can breakdown during your daily walk on a chilly November evening. Hopefully, you will end up evaluating your life and where you want it to go, and end up taking the Leap of faith. And I hope it gets you where you hoped to be, like it has for me.

2. Onam 2019

If you happened to be at the Neonatal ICU wing of Amrita Hospital at 9am on any day between 7th August 2019 and 21st September 2019, you would have run into me. The princess snoring next to me right now was born nearly three months premature, and that was the visiting time for parents to see their child at the NICU.

I've a very bad memory, so thankfully whatever images I had to see there have been wiped clean in my head. But I still remember one day in particular. She had a recurrence of an infection, and they had stopped feeding her altogether. The doctor told me that morning that there was not much to do, but wait for 24 hours to see how she responds to medicine.

I was on my way to office after hearing that. We were celebrating Onam at office on that day. I had reached this intersection near Kaloor, and I just couldn't drive anymore. I stopped the bike by the side. The helmet hid the tears running down my face. I called in sick and went back home.

3. Onam 2020

You don't need to be a genius to figure out why tears were running down my face on a cold morning in August 2020. It was Onam again, and I had my princess in my arms.

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So, that's all for this week then.

Have a great weekend!!

'til next week.

3 Random Things - Week 6

Warning : Sufficient fictional license has been used in the content below to not warrant use of logic at your end.

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Consider three individuals of the similar mental capacity and similar middle class social standing, studying the same engineering degree - A, B and C.

1. A's Father wanted to be an Engineer, but couldn't. So naturally, he decided A will be an engineer. Hence, A is currently doing this course. If someone took time to talk to A, they would realise that A wanted to become a lawyer. However, the dominant nature of the parent stifled A's dreams and A kept studying the course.

2. B's family is precariously poised financially. B's sincere efforts resulted in a seat in the present course - even though B would have liked to repeat the entrance exam and join for a better course/College. However, time was not on B's side. B's father is retiring soon and B has to get a job as soon as possible, to avoid B's family going broke.

3. "We’re the middle children of history. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression." - Fight Club.

C cannot be introduced better than that. Growing up without struggles is a boon and a bane. This might be a second world issue, but a lack of struggle leads to lack of a specific endpoint / continuous force in one direction. C wanted to try everything - and ended up floating carelessly among options, like a paper bag in the wind. Whichever way the wind tugged last, it went.

***

This is a mid-life crisis self awareness rant. I'm not saying that I'm not questioning every decision I made between 18 and 23, but boy is hindsight 20/20. I was whimsical, instead of being logical. During that period, I lacked someone, who could guide me in the long term, instead of short term. I was taking advice from my seniors, who were practically fellow teenagers at that point in time.

We always think that if we could go back in time and do things differently, and the outcome would change to our preference. I don't think it works that way though.

In Gurgaon, I was in a collision where my bike traveling at 60+ kmph hit a car perpendicularly, and I walked away with a bump on my wrist. Another time, I kept my right foot on a football while playing a match, it spun under my foot, and I ended up with all my ankle ligaments torn. A butterfly flapping it's wing at the apt time would have changed the results in both those scenarios.

There are a lot of things beyond our control. We just have to accept that. Efforts made with the right intentions can lead to horrific results, and vice versa. I'm choosing to believe that I'm the culmination of all my choices and the experience it gave me. I'm aware that I can go back in time, make the same choices, and have entirely different experiences.

And I'll say all this, and the very next second, I will wonder what would have happened if there was no recession during the final year of my college. I guess all this is just a part of existing.

***

There was only one thing I was sure in my life. I want to have my family and that will always be my priority - a priority above my work, my career and my friends. I am glad that that dream of mine has worked out splendidly.

A professor picked on me class in 2010. He was making a sweeping statement that "All you people study engineering for four years, then go do software jobs", and I was unfortunately caught in the crosshair. But that pushed me to chose to go for a Engineering based job in Gurgaon over a standard IT job in Bangalore - I chose something against my skillset.

Three and a half years in Gurgaon and the struggles it brought made a better person, and it gave me a direction - I decided that I can't stay outside Kerala. I quit my job, scavenged whatever meagre savings I had, and came back to Trivandrum to do a course in Embedded systems in February 2014.

A certain lady, who shall not be named, was supposed to join the course six months before at Chennai. As her fate would have it, she joined along with me at Trivandrum. She would be the first person to read this line once I post this online.

***

So, that's all for this week then.

Have a great weekend!!

'til next week.

3 Random Things - Week 5

The obvious change in title might not have gone unnoticed, I presume. Like all things natural and artificial, I'm afraid of change, but not immune to it. 

There has been talks in the backalleys of the Internet that I'm running a scam here - I lure people in here by claiming that I'm sharing something I learnt, but they soon realise it's nothing more than an open diary.

Assume I had a any iota of talent in riding a cycle. The only way I could get better at it would be by riding it regularly. I would need a coach-like figure to guide me through. Unfortunately, my thing is writing. At the cost of indulging in oneself, I'm amazed at what I've written in the past. This might not be the endgame, but a positive feeling generated here sure reflects elsewhere.

Forcing myself to write every week on a public platform is the form of training I'm undertaking. Everytime I hit the "Publish" button, I mentally put a tick mark against one item in the weekly "To do" list. A sense of accomplishment every week helps.

***

1. Increasing sales

There's that "forwarded joke" about how someone at a toothpaste company increased the sales by increasing the diameter of the opening. While we read and laugh/smirk alongwith it, the unfortunate reality is being ignored. I don't know if the toothpaste thing is fact or fiction, but something similar is happening everywhere.

Recently, I had to upgrade the internet connection to Fiber. They came and installed everything (at a cost). In the end, they said that the input port of the Wifi modem we are using now doesn't support the output of the newly installed router. Basically, to meet the present criteria, I had to throw away a perfectly functioning device and pay for a one.

2. Turning 35

I dreaded heading into the wrong side of 30. In two days, I'm being pushed to the away half of the wrong side of 30. Like any normal person out there, I'm having my fair share of anxiety and depression. It's controllable till date, but I've researched for solutions in case it becomes something which starts affecting my routines. If you are someone/know someone battling mental demons, don't be afraid to reach out for help.

Ok. Let me be clear - I meant reaching out to a professional for help, not me. I'm in no way qualified t this. I do have a patient ear, but the logical/sarcastic responses might not be what you were hoping to hear at the end of a full disclosure.

3. "I owe you"

Allow me one "I owe you". I swear I'm good for it. As a security, please accept this old post.

Ormayundo?

***

So, that's all for this week then.

Have a great weekend!!

'til next week.

3 Things I forced myself to learn - Week 4

I haven't mixed writing with my job till date.

A natural tendency to over elaborate, an innate need to explain things like you are talking to a three year old, and always writing, while thinking of oneself as defending themselves in a court of law makes me a very "not-so-good" writer at work. If there ever was a word limit on the notes that I am asked to put up, I would hit a writer's block of epic proportions.

In short, I have mixed my job with writing to not so good reviews.

***

I was thinking of all the things that I have brought to my work, from outside what you would think is the normal purview of a Banker - Maths and Finance.

During the short period of four years of earning an  engineering degree, I had tried my hands at organizing events, entry level robotics, a couple of on-stage "performances", multiple "on-screen" videos (which the people of today might call a really long TikTok video) and much more. And you would be amazed at what all skills I learned then have been put to use when I reached the Bank.

***

1. Video editing

My video creation and editing skills were put to use. I'm not gonna explain for what and when. I'll explain how.

Pay Rs.499 per year to get full subscription to InShot app. The layout and controls are pretty simple to use. The key, as my friend taught in college, is finding the right music, and making sure that you do something on-screen to the tune of the beats.

2. Powerpoint

It's a trade secret. So I'll (try to) keep this to as many less words as possible.

Using powerpoint, timed custom animation, matching slide switching and loop-through slide music, you can save a PPT as mp4 to make a semi-decent video.

3. Teaching

Something I just love doing (I'm still regretting not taking my grandfather's advice to take up teaching). From last minute sessions before entering the exam halls in schools to trying to honour the name of group study during college, teaching is something I love doing.

I never thought I would teach when I joined the Bank. But that's where I found myself at the begining of demonetisation - going around the city, teaching people the various digital methods of financial transactions.

Then when the Bank launched a brand new online platform, I was able to train the staff on its features. Due to time constraints, we had to cover everyone in our region in one day. And so, I ended up doing eight one hour sessions on the same day. And it was one of the happiest days in my work life.

***

Going back to the first line, I haven't mixed writing with my job till date. Well, not in a serious manner. There was this post some five years ago

How to use a Credit card?

Recently, someone asked me where the second part was. And I sheepishly said "in the drafts". I'm thinking of seriously mixing writing with my work. Your thoughts?

***

So, that's all for this week then.

Have a great weekend!!

'til next week.

3 Things I forced myself to learn - Week 3

Some good news is creeping up on the horizon for Bankers, as the Five day Banking scheme might finally get implemented. To compensate for the additional non-working days, the daily business hours will be increased. Of course, when you are already working on non-regulated working hours with no overtime, that makes no difference. So, here's to hoping that all weekends shall be worth two whole days as soon as possible.

Why is this relevant to this blog? Well, a proper weekend every weekend means that I'll hopefully be able to get back to my routine back in 2013-14, where I took time to write, rather than trying to cram my thoughts into semi-coherent thoughts, late on a Saturday night, while watching some Premier League football.

***

For this week's blog, which is coming nearly 48 hours late, we are going tp go through some things I have had to learnt to do the phone.

***

1. Grocery shopping lists on WhatsApp

The first time I remember seeing someone use WhatsApp was in 2011. I was sending bulk SMS to my college friends across the country and he was chatting one-on-one with his friend in Australia. The speed with which WhatsApp replaced the existing platforms for sending "Good morning" messages and the "if you don't forward this to ten people, then..." messages was astonishing.

In the late 90s, I remember us calling the telephone exchange, asking for them to connect us to grandmother's home in Trivandrum, then waiting for some time before having the actual call (at a good cost too). Today, I can call my brother in US at any point of time with the tap of a button. Of course, I still have to wait, since the nocturnal creature might be asleep or playing some online game.

The latest addition to WhatsApp uses in my home is a group just for grocery purchase. If Ammu or myself find that we have run out of something, we will put it in the group. The next person who goes to the store is mandated by law to check the group before finishing any purchase.

2. Snapchat

I was initially confounded by the process flow in Snapchat - You click a photo, you send it across to your friends; they click a photo, they send it back. It's not even like forwarding a funny reel. The photo could be a mundane thing in front of you, or just a picture taken with the camera closed. I still haven't understood the logic (old age and all), but the advantage of trying out the app was in keeping my toddler entertained in 2020. She loved the "cat on your head" lens, and it was always a sureshot way to make her smile. No skill learnt is unutilized.

3. Voice notes

I hated voice notes. For someone who had built up his typing speed solely on chatting in Gmail and Facebook, I abhorred the idea of replying to someone with a voice note. Of course, once you start receiving minute long voice notes, you realise that you can't reply completely within a few short sentences. Slowly, I too was converted, and now I don't mind starting a conversation with voice note.

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Before I take your leave, let me share an interesting question that was put forward to me this past week.

"If you are given one extra minute every day, what will you use it for?"

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So, that's all for this week then.

Have a great weekend!!

'til next week.