Warning : Sufficient fictional license has been used in the content below to not warrant use of logic at your end.
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Consider three individuals of the similar mental capacity and similar middle class social standing, studying the same engineering degree - A, B and C.
1. A's Father wanted to be an Engineer, but couldn't. So naturally, he decided A will be an engineer. Hence, A is currently doing this course. If someone took time to talk to A, they would realise that A wanted to become a lawyer. However, the dominant nature of the parent stifled A's dreams and A kept studying the course.
2. B's family is precariously poised financially. B's sincere efforts resulted in a seat in the present course - even though B would have liked to repeat the entrance exam and join for a better course/College. However, time was not on B's side. B's father is retiring soon and B has to get a job as soon as possible, to avoid B's family going broke.
3. "We’re the middle children of history. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression." - Fight Club.
C cannot be introduced better than that. Growing up without struggles is a boon and a bane. This might be a second world issue, but a lack of struggle leads to lack of a specific endpoint / continuous force in one direction. C wanted to try everything - and ended up floating carelessly among options, like a paper bag in the wind. Whichever way the wind tugged last, it went.
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This is a mid-life crisis self awareness rant. I'm not saying that I'm not questioning every decision I made between 18 and 23, but boy is hindsight 20/20. I was whimsical, instead of being logical. During that period, I lacked someone, who could guide me in the long term, instead of short term. I was taking advice from my seniors, who were practically fellow teenagers at that point in time.
We always think that if we could go back in time and do things differently, and the outcome would change to our preference. I don't think it works that way though.
In Gurgaon, I was in a collision where my bike traveling at 60+ kmph hit a car perpendicularly, and I walked away with a bump on my wrist. Another time, I kept my right foot on a football while playing a match, it spun under my foot, and I ended up with all my ankle ligaments torn. A butterfly flapping it's wing at the apt time would have changed the results in both those scenarios.
There are a lot of things beyond our control. We just have to accept that. Efforts made with the right intentions can lead to horrific results, and vice versa. I'm choosing to believe that I'm the culmination of all my choices and the experience it gave me. I'm aware that I can go back in time, make the same choices, and have entirely different experiences.
And I'll say all this, and the very next second, I will wonder what would have happened if there was no recession during the final year of my college. I guess all this is just a part of existing.
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There was only one thing I was sure in my life. I want to have my family and that will always be my priority - a priority above my work, my career and my friends. I am glad that that dream of mine has worked out splendidly.
A professor picked on me class in 2010. He was making a sweeping statement that "All you people study engineering for four years, then go do software jobs", and I was unfortunately caught in the crosshair. But that pushed me to chose to go for a Engineering based job in Gurgaon over a standard IT job in Bangalore - I chose something against my skillset.
Three and a half years in Gurgaon and the struggles it brought made a better person, and it gave me a direction - I decided that I can't stay outside Kerala. I quit my job, scavenged whatever meagre savings I had, and came back to Trivandrum to do a course in Embedded systems in February 2014.
A certain lady, who shall not be named, was supposed to join the course six months before at Chennai. As her fate would have it, she joined along with me at Trivandrum. She would be the first person to read this line once I post this online.
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So, that's all for this week then.
Have a great weekend!!
'til next week.
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