Thank You (5 things - Week 37)

By the time I push the publish button for this post, I'll be waiting to board my flight back home. It has been a journey of three and a half years in the making. In this long trudge we call Life, these 40 odd months might look like nothing more than a short detour. But it was worth it.

I thought of going in deep about my experience here. But the more I dwell on the memories that have been made here, the more I feel like I'm leaving something significant behind. So, I'm going to keep it short. I'll just point out what I've gained because I came here.

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1. It might seem confusing, but I learnt more about Kerala by coming over here.

I've never been able to enjoy the wide spectrum of people in Kerala because I lived in the south part of it for most of my life, and most of my close friends were from my area itself. After coming here, I've been in the company of a variety of individuals, from almost every district in my little state. And with a lot of help from them, I got to know the various slang of Malayalam language, the different delicacies that you get at the other places, the difference in behaviour and customs and a lot more.

To put it in a nutshell, I'm going to visit every place that they have told me about in the past three years, because I've fallen more in love with Kerala after coming here.

2. I understood that the stereotyping occurs both ways. 

I've seen enough films in Hindi as well as in Malayalam to know the stereotyping that occurs across the language barrier. To tell the truth, the way south Indians are depicted in Hindi movies, and the way north Indians are depicted in the southern film industries are pathetic. These characters are used as tools for producing 'funny' situations, which are clichéd and baseless.

What I understood after coming here is that in spite of all this, a large contingent of the people here know that we south Indians are more than idli, sambhar, dhoti and a moustache. And I was pleasantly surprised to find that the people here are open, big hearted, kind and wonderful.

3. Life in a METRO is something you've to experience by living in it.

I've been to metro cities before. I've seen the exotic cars, the uber cool people and the horizon full of high rises. But it is a lot more than that. I don't know how to put that in words. Like I said, you've to live in a metro to experience how fantastic it is.

4. I learnt that the weather can be both too hot or too cold.

Coming from a temperate region, the only 'too much' that I had to experience in terms of weather was rain. Delhi broke through the barriers of the highest and lowest temperatures that I've experienced. I've been made terribly uncomfortable by the weather - at 50 deg Celsius as well as at 1 deg Celsius. Even though much worse conditions exist elsewhere in this world, this experience will help me, if there is ever a need for me to be at such a place.

5. I am writing this post.

I've said it many times before, and I'll say it yet again. Thank you Mahavir. I hope he's having a good time in Seoul, in spite of the snow and the cold. It was due to him that I posted something here in March, after a gap of some months - and that was about the cultural shock that I experienced when I came over here. It was due to that post that I decided to write weekly. And so I thank him for pushing me on to this writing spree.

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So, to wrap it up, for what might be my last post to be published from Delhi for a long time, I would like to say Thank you.

To all you awesome people I had the good fortune to meet here.

To all the wonderful memories that we have made.

To all the highs and the lows,

To all the opportunities and the disappointments

To all the Momo-walas, and the dhaba-walas,

To all the KFCs, McDs and Dominos,

To the Pallika bazaar and the Select City Walk Mall,

To all the gorgeous ladies who had come into my ken.

I say Thank you. Cos you've made the past three years one of the most memorable periods in my life.

Well, that's it for this week.

You all have a great weekend.

'til next week.

Winning the Lottery (5 things - Week 36)

After a gap of nearly 5 years, I put pen to paper, rather finger to keyboard, to churn out a poem - "On his last game".

It was inspired by the unbelievable events at my last game of football. Even I was ridiculously surprised by the fact that I hit four goals. And yes - I chose to neglect the fact that I'll look like some egoistic, self appraising prick for saying that out loud. But like I said, ridiculously surprised. Forget four goals in a single game, I'm pretty sure that I haven't scored that many in an year. Hitting four goals was like winning the lottery for me.

And I am thankful to all those involved in that game for letting me do so at my last game.

Speaking of lotteries and stuff, I was surprised to receive a letter from the Reader's Digest this week, saying that I have been nominated for their annual Sweepstakes, worth to the tune of Rs.50 lakhs. All I had done to get this opportunity was to register at their site at some point in the past; and all I had to do to go further in the Sweepstakes was to reply to this mail at the earliest. And I did just that.

So, as it is, I stand a chance to win up to 50,00,000 rupees in cash. And that spurred me on to think as to what I would do if I won this lottery; or any lottery for that matter.

One day, those are going to be my hands holding the large pile of cash!!

If I win the lottery, I would resign from my job, go back to my home in Thiruvananthapuram, put my feet up on the table, switch on the TV and laze my life around. Since I'm already on course to do that from next week, that too without winning the lottery, I thought of what else I would do.

1. I won't tell anyone I won the lottery.

Why you may ask. It is partly because I don't want people to see me any differently, making me act any different than I do now. It is partly because I'm sure I'll be asked to give treats. It is mainly because I don't do well under scrutiny of the public's eye. It makes me act awkward.

2. I guess it's implied that I won't be giving out any treats/donations.

Like I said before, no treats will be my mantra if I ever win the lottery. I already have given/give a lot of treats without winning it. I don't want to go on doing that for a silly thing like winning a lottery.

And if you won't pray for me to win the lottery without getting a promise of a treat in return, then well, I'm okay with it.

3. I'll resist the temptation to build a huge tower, and fill it with gold coins, so that I can go swimming in it.

Those who have had watched Duck Tales will know what I'm talking about.

This is what I'm talking about!!!

But I won't do that. It is a silly, immature way to flaunt your wealth. And at the rate that Gold sells now, I don't expect my lottery money to buy more than a few hundred coins.

4. I would donate 10% of the interest I get to charity every month.

As I have planned it as of now, I would put 35 lakhs in Fixed Deposit, and the rest 15 lakhs in a normal account. I guess I would earn about Rs.30,000 per month from them. That is more than enough for someone living in my hometown, Thiruvananthapuram. And I'll donate 10% of it, about Rs.3000 to charity every month.

This is not because I'm a humanitarian, but because I don't want to feel guilty. If, at all, there is a process, at some point in time, of adding points for your good deeds, and subtracting points for your bad deeds, I want to make sure that I'm closer to zero.

5. I'll still try to get a job.

Just because I have cash in bank doesn't mean that I'm gonna live my entire life off of it. It was by a stroke of luck/fate/destiny that I got that cash. I could easily lose it again. So, I'll get a job, I'll work my ass off, take all the due plaudits and recognition with pride, and sleep every night a content man.

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I had also come across this article in quora.com. It was about this guy, who made a fortune with a venture he made by sellling it off to a big MNC, but decided not to flaunt his wealth. He moved to another city, got a normal job and a normal life. In case you want to know how to be wealthy and NOT SHOW OFF, check out his post at

http://www.quora.com/Wealthy-People-and-Families/What-is-it-like-to-be-discreetly-wealthy

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Well, that's it for this week. Monday'll be my last day at my first job. It's getting weird and confusing and frightening and confusing. I think I said confused before. I think I should just go lie down, thinking about the lottery that I'm gonna win.

You all have a great weekend.

'til next week.

On his last game

With two rolls of bandage on his bad ankle,
And one on the other just to be sure;
With a prayer to avoid another bad tackle,
And one to reduce the pressure.

He steps onto the field, one last time,
Not knowing how well it'll turn out, or how bad;
If his touches are to be crass or sublime,
He knows not, but he vowed to give the best he had.

A single floodlight lit the park with its beam,
Though with more shadows than he would like;
He counted three more on his team,
And four on the other, ready to strike.

There were no referees, no whistles,
No boundaries, no fixed goalies;
These men intent on their battles,
But would forgive him his follies.

After his injury, they knew what this meant to him,
This wasn't just a kick about, but his retribution;
Doc said play again and invite consequences grim,
But here he was, once more before his resignation.

After the formality of a kickoff,
Both teams scored one;
Everyone was getting picked off,
More than him, none.

And then the ball fell to him in the middle,
His roaming eyes fell on a teammate, far wide;
And like a thread through the needle,
He sent the ball to his mate, to his feet precise.

When, with a sumptuous volley, his mate finished,
He knew in his heart it was just the beginning;
And as he moved forward, his fears banished.
The opposition knew, it was going to be a long evening.

One off his heel,
One on the volley,
One after cutting across,
One just toe poked in.

Four beautiful goals really made his day,
It was nothing but a strong display;
If he had to say goodbye, this was his way,
Playing his heart out, come what may.

***

Epilogue

They don't know when he played his first match,
No record books shall note when he played his last;
His history and his fame is all within himself,
But he feels proud and happy, just to have played the game itself.

The Impossible Machines (5 things - Week 35)

I'm a subscriber to the "A Word A Day (AWAD)". What the people at AWAD do is that they send you a word everyday. Just over the past three weeks, I found that there are words like mien, smellfungus, schnozzle and bumbledom. They have been trying hard to increase my vocabulary since 8th September 2007. That's more than six years.

But I've to be honest with you. More than learning new words, their meaning(s) and their usage; what I like most about these words are their etymology - their origins. I love reading about the history of such words, and I usually delve more into it than into the word itself. And that brings us to the mail I received from AWAD this last Thursday, 28.11.2013.

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A.Word.A.Day

with Anu Garg

Rube Goldberg

PRONUNCIATION:

(roob GOLD-buhrg) 

MEANING:

adjective: Absurdly complex or impractical.

ETYMOLOGY:

After cartoonist Rube Goldberg (1883-1970) who was known for his intricate drawings showing fantastically impractical contraptions to accomplish simple jobs. Earliest documented use: 1928.

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Rube Goldberg was, like was the norm in those days, a sculptor, an engineer, a cartoonist, an author and a cartoonist. The word "Rube Goldberg" is an eponym for the cartoonist Rube Goldberd, who used to visualize impossible contraptions for carrying out menial tasks through his cartoons.

Most of his machines are the kind of stuff we used to watch Tom and Wily Coyte use in their devious plans to capture Jerry and Roadrunner respectively. Mousetraps being actuated, birds going after crackers, strings being pulled, balls rolling for ages before hitting something, dominoes falling on top of each other, balloons rising up, weights getting shifted and what not.

It must have been great fun for him to devise these ingenious ways. And we can do nothing, but stand enraptured in front of these machines, appreciating the mind behind their preposterous nature.

And this week, we are going through five such "Impossible Machines" that this great man had envisioned.

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open the image in a new tab in case you aren't able to understand properly

1. The Napkin*

So, you are eating soup and you are repeatedly getting your overgrown moustache dipped in the spoon. What do you do? Cut your 'tash?? GOD FORBID!!

You use "The Napkin". Find out how it works in this following illustration.

2. The Parachute*

I guess the following machine was necessitated by the invention of airplanes. So, in case you  ever in a doomed airplane, or simply falling off a cliff, be sure to use this simple device to keep you airborne, until you can reach land safely.

3. The Mouse Trap*

Too bad that we paid Rs.500 tthose pest control guys last week. We could have used this quickfire method to get rid of the four pawed beasts from our flat.

4. The Alarm Clock*

It's the winter. It's getting cold. The buzzer alarms and phone alarms are being rendered useless thanks to our wish to not get out of the bed. With the "Snooze" option being the biggest hurdle we have to get through, I think this contraption should ensure that we are woken up everyday in time. If a combination of a cannon ball and ice cold water can't get you to wake up, I don't know what will.

5. The Toothpaste Dispenser*

In the half awake/drowsy state after getting up, if you have trouble getting toothpaste out of its tube, then you must definitely try using the following device.

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Now, I know I said that all these are impossible machines. But if you look at the intention behind these inventions, you'll notice that it is for reducing amount of effort that man has to make in performing menial tasks. And that must be the reason why people actually tried to execute these crazy schemes.

Here is the video of a device called 'The Page Turner'. Never mind the fact that it takes almost two minutes for this device which shall work once, if it works at all. This is a work of pure genius.

View and enjoy!!!

This is all but just one example. For more videos, go to

http://coolmaterial.com/roundup/rube-goldberg-machines/

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And to end this post, I've the word they sent me today. Even though I'm pretty sure that I won't use the word "blimp" at any place (other than this sentence), I'm all the more amused at the character from whose name this word has been derived.

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There was an attempt to explore the effects of being too reliant on the modern intelligence enabled devices in the midweek post "Duh!!". So, you can go ahead and read it, if you haven't already.

And that's all for this week. Don't forget to rate this blog at the bottom of this post.

You guys and gals have a great weekend!!

'til next week.

*No birds or animals were ever harmed in the working of these inventions. Well, maybe a few mice were sent to moon, but that's all.

Duh!!

I'm going to be the umpteenth person to voice his opinion on this topic. But since you are already here to read, and since I've already started to write, why not go ahead and discuss "Artifical Intelligence".

But don't worry. I'm not going to bore you with a technical discourse on fuzzy logic, control theory and mathematical modelling - because I'm confident of my abilities to bore you without resorting to technical stuff. :P

As with almost all of the topics that are covered here, this too came out of a situation that stumped me at first. We were watching TV the other night, when the show we were watching introduced this actress as the special guest for the day.

She had acted only in a few Malayalam films till now, but what made her popular was this show on the channel "Mazhavil Manorama". Like I said, no one was able to remember the name of that show. By instinct, my hand went to unlock the screen of my smartphone, so that I could google my answer. It was at this point that a friend of mine asked me a disturbingly valid question,

"What is the need for googling all the answers? We used to watch that show every week. Can't we at least try and remember it by ourselves?"

I couldn't find any plausible reason to not do what he said. And that thought process is what spawned this post. With the plethora of intelligence enabled devices available to us, it is no surprise that we are being slowly converted into their slaves. The usage of Artificial intelligence is harming the natural one.

With the advent of affordable smartphones and inexpensive mobile internet, information about the world is literally at everyone's fingertips. So, if I had to find a word to describe the mobile internet as "cheap" in the last sentence, all I had to do was to google "cheap synonym", so that I'll get to know that "inexpensive" can be used in its place. If I had opted not to access that portal, I would have had to spend a significant amount of time thinking about it.

But, the fact that you can successfully search for an answer in your smartphone prohibits you from using your own intellect. The mind of humans are like light in that respect - always going for the shortest path. And knowing that the chance of finding the answer on the web is 100%, makes it an all too enticing option to pass on.

When I was introduced officially to a calculator in my eleventh grade, my father told me that it was a bad idea. I had to use a calculator as I had to tackle bigger "problems" in lesser time. But my father was right in saying that it'll diminish my own calculating capabilities. The more I leaned on using calculators, the more I found it hard to calculate simple arithmetic operations by myself.

It's in plain sight, to anyone willing to observe, that using such devices makes us dumber. But I am not going to go around advocating a ban on the usage of smartphones. Let me give you an example of why it is good too.

This happened when we were watching a Tamil movie on TV - "Mankatha". There was song sequence, where the protagonists were driving around in the vehicle shown above. I liked that van very much, and said so too. A friend of mine had this to say to that,

"That is the Volkswagen Camper. It is one of their more famous brands. Now, only one factory produces it in the whole world - in Brazil. This is because Camper doesn't meet the safety regulations imposed by many countries. The Brazil factory will also stop production by the end of this year."

Now, at first, everyone was amused to find him giving so many "facts" about a scene we saw for about five seconds. I, being me, challenged him to prove that he was right. I said, "I'll believe everything you say from now on, if all of this is true?"

A quick google search ended up with me accepting defeat. He was right about the Volkswagen Camper.

So this tool can be used to verify facts. But it can do more than that. It can help us learn new facts. This friend of mine was similarly attracted to the vehicle when he saw it at first. So he did a google search and learnt more about it.

And with the advent of affordable smartphones and inexpensive mobile internet, information about the world is literally at everyone's fingertips. You can learn as much as you want.

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And to come back to that actress and that show. Ten minutes after I had laid down to sleep that night, I had my EUREKA!! moment. I flew down the stairs and into the room of my friend who had inspired me to find the answer by myself. And I said, "Marimayam. It's Marimayam."

And then I danced around the room like a kid who was promised a toffee if he could add 2 and 2 correctly.

I could leave you with that image in your mind. But I ain't that cruel. I'll bid adieu with this quote.

"I fear the day that technology will surpass our human interaction. The world will have a generation of idiots." - Albert Einstein