Heart Attacks (5 things - Week 91)

I love the week between 25th December and 1st January in any year. There's Christmas in that week; there's the beginning of a brand new year in that week; there's also my birthday in there. It is that time of the year, when it's the norm to be glad and jolly. And keeping in toe with the standards of narration in this conversation of ours, in this festive period. we will talking about Myocardial infraction aka Heart attacks.

The reason this topic was chosen during this time of the year will have to wait. Before that, we'll go through some general information regarding this topic.

Shall we begin then??

***

1. What is a heart attack?

The heart muscle requires a constant supply of oxygen-rich blood to nourish it. The coronary arteries provide the heart with this critical blood supply. If you have coronary artery disease, those arteries become narrow and blood cannot flow as well as they should. Fatty matter, calcium, proteins, and inflammatory cells build up within the arteries to form plaques of different sizes. The plaque deposits are hard on the outside and soft and mushy on the inside.

When the plaque is hard, the outer shell cracks (plaque rupture), platelets (disc-shaped particles in the blood that aid clotting) come to the area, and blood clots form around the plaque. If a blood clot totally blocks the artery, the heart muscle becomes "starved" for oxygen. Within a short time, death of heart muscle cells occurs, causing permanent damage. This is a heart attack.

2. What are the symptoms of heart attack??

Many people aren't sure what's wrong when they are having symptoms of a heart attack. Some of the most common warning symptoms of a heart attack for both men and women are:

Chest pain or discomfort. Most heart attacks involve discomfort in the center or left side of the chest. The discomfort usually lasts more than a few minutes or goes away and comes back. It can feel like pressure, squeezing, fullness, or pain. It also can feel like heartburn or indigestion.

Upper body discomfort. You may feel pain or discomfort in one or both arms, the back, shoulders, neck, jaw, or upper part of the stomach (above the belly button).

Shortness of breath. This may be your only symptom, or it may occur before or along with chest pain or discomfort. It can occur when you are resting or doing a little bit of physical activity.

3. How to survive a heart attack alone??

Should you experience a heart attack – regardless of whether you’re alone or in the presence of others – the very first thing to do is to call for emergency medical help. You need specialized treatment to be delivered to you as quickly as possible in order to save your heart muscle.

Large studies have also shown that taking an aspirin – the most commonly taken blood thinning medication in the world – during a heart attack improves survival.

Most cases of heart attack are caused by a blood clot forming in one of the blood vessels responsible for supplying blood to the heart. Taking an aspirin during a heart attack may help as it prevents the clot from getting bigger, giving the body a chance to break down the blood clot. If you have aspirin at home, and you know that you are not allergic to it, then you could consider taking it while waiting for the emergency medical services to arrive.

4. How to administer CPR??

Cardiopulmonary resuscitation, commonly known as CPR, is an emergency procedure performed in an effort to manually preserve intact brain function until further measures are taken to restore spontaneous blood circulation and breathing in a person who is in cardiac arrest. It is indicated in those who are unresponsive with no breathing or abnormal breathing.

CPR alone is unlikely to restart the heart. Its main purpose is to restore partial flow of oxygenated blood to the brain and heart. The objective is to delay tissue death and to extend the brief window of opportunity for a successful resuscitation without permanent brain damage. Administration of an electric shock to the subject's heart, termed defibrillation, is usually needed in order to restore a viable or "perfusing" heart rhythm.

How to perform CPR is given here and here.

5. How are future heart attacks prevented??

Having had a heart attack or treatment does not mean you will never have another heart attack; it can happen again. If necessary, bypass surgery may be performed in the days following the heart attack to restore the heart muscle's supply of blood.

The goal after your heart attack is to keep your heart healthy and reduce your risks of having another heart attack. Your best bet to ward off future attacks are to take your medications, change your lifestyle, and see you doctor for regular heart checkups.

***

The reason this topic was chosen was because two of my relatives experienced this in two vastly different ways.

The first case was nothing short of a miracle. He was taken to the hospital because he was experiencing stomach pain since the day before. An ECG was taken and it was found that he had had an heart attack more than 17 hours ago. It was nothing short of a miracle that he was alive.

The second case kept begging for a miracle to happen. He had laid down to sleep, but was making unusual sounds. When he didn't respond, he was immediately taken to the hospital. But his heart had stopped beating for almost 20 minutes by then. Doctors were able to bring back a heart beat and he was put in the ventilator. The doctors feared that brain death had occurred. Still he was kept in the ventilator for four days - because his son was reluctant to sign the document to bring him out. His son waited for a miracle to happen as long as he could.

In this moment, I pray that his soul rest in peace, and may God give his family the strength to get through this tough period.

***

'til next week.

Situations on Train (5 things - Week 90)

Do you know what's going to haunt you your entire life?? That piece of dumpling which you took from the plate. The actual culprit is the food outlet serving five dumplings to two persons - giving them the unnecessary headache of splitting one in half to keep things equal. But they can excuse themselves saying that they are a profit organization, and that they would rather have two people ordering two plates.

In that scenario, all of this boils down to the individual who eats the fifth dumpling without even asking the other, whether they want half of it. And I thank God that I wasn't that person. Because if I were to be that person, then I would have to hear what I'm saying right now - "..how could you eat that half of my dumpling.."

In short, life's going great.

What's not going great is this Jan Shatabdhi train being an hour late. It's going to act as an unnecessary catalyst when it comes to the post scribbling review session. Which means that I'll be compromising on paragraph spacing, indentation, spell check, grammar check, etc etc. And here you were thinking that it's easy to write these things.

I agree that I'm not doing much more than stringing together sentences in a logical pattern, but still it takes effort. If you are in doubt, ask the person who took my half of the dumpling, who was supposed to have a post ready for publishing last week.

And here I am, writing things in the last minute to keep the ball rolling over here. My answer to what to write about is the mantra that a senior bestowed upon me a few years ago. When Dijin chettan read this blog after it had gone dormant (pre-2013) he commented that I "needed to have experiences to get writing again. And if there's a lack of motivating experiences, then just observe your surroundings. There are more stories to be told that you can imagine."

For this week's "5 things", I'm going to observe my surroundings and we'll have five situations we come across whenever we are traveling by train.

Shall we begin then??

***

1. Weird smile by children

So you are a child and you are traveling with your parents by train. And they meet this long lost friend of theirs who you haven't met on your life. What should you do?? Smile. And I've seen these smiles to be weird and uneasy most of the time. I don't know the reason why though. You're welcome to check it out for yourself the next time.

2. The teenager who is too cool

So you're a teenager now and you are traveling with your parents by train. If you even sniff a chance to get a seat away from them, you'll take it. Why?? Because you are too cool to be seen with them that is.

3. The ticketless running from TTs

If you see a string of people making their way to one side of the train, throwing plenty of nervous glances towards their posterior, then you can be sure that the TT is coming to check your ticket. And if you don't have a ticket, better join that group.

4. Different sleeping positions

Open mouth is my favorite - to watch that is. To execute, I prefer "banging your head on the window frame" position. And there's lots more. The "Nod off on to that complete strangers shoulder" position, the "vertical axis head exercise" position and the "I'm not sleepy, I'm just imitating a pendulum" position demand special mention.

5. What's that guy doing on his mobile??

The one on the left is playing Pokemon on his phone. The one on the right is playing Grand theft auto on his phone. And someone here might actually be reading what I'm writing down. We are all snoopers.

***

Just last night I was joking with my mother that railways is my other mother. And not just because it feeds my entire family. I've been traveling in trains since I was nothing more than a toddler. Only since the turn of the millennia, when we settled down in Thiruvananthapuram did the frequency of train journeys come down. The rail network has kept me company in long journeys and taught me the virtues of patience and observation. Both of which helped in making this conversation today.

***

So, that's all for this week then.

Have a great weekend!!

'til next week.

Five of the best (5 things - Week 89)

A very short post for this week, as a lot of unexpected stuff keeps on happening around me these days, derailing me from my normal routine.

The engagement ceremony went off without any hitch thankfully. I had to readjust my mundu [dhoti] only once, which was like one percent of what I expected. And there were relatives going around clicking pictures like that's why they came to the event. Can't complain though. They have given in their creations before the professionals come back with their art work. For the 5 things for this week, we'll go through five of the best pictures to come in till now.

***

1. The “MAIN” event of the day.

2. The “COMEDY” event of the day.

That's my cousin sister placing a strand of flowers on her, as per the custom. But my cousin was so afraid of ruining her hair that it took way longer than required.

3. The “SMILE” event of the day.

This was the default smile we decided on to give to everyone who came looking for one. Not bad, huh.

4. The “pain-in-the-a**” event of the day.

“Stand over there. Put your hand on her shoulder. Look at each other.” Thank God that we had only one professional photographer for the ceremony.

5. The “What-the-” event of the day.

That's my mother-in-law being genuinely surprised by my dining tactics. I was trying to avoid the camera that was trying to get me eating food.

***

We've all heard of friends giving surprises to the groom and bride on their special day. Let it be putting up big humiliating banners outside the marriage hall, putting itchy powder on the bed for the first night, etc etc. My dear friend, Dileep, went one step further and decided to give such a surprise for our engagement.

He created the following comic strip from a collection of innocent pictures taken at the engagement. Suffice to say, he's not getting invited to the marriage.

***

So, that's all for this week then.

Have a great weekend!!

'til next week.

Will you marry me??

***

Ek bandha thaa,

Ek bandhi thi,

Ye he unki love story,

And for us, it is the most beautiful piece of history.

***

We met 285 days ago. Our first impression were the polar opposite of what it’s now. After all, “Meh” and “Nerd” aren’t the more pleasing of first thoughts about your life partner. Over six months, our perceptions changed as we slowly fell in love, as fast as we could. And now, in another 30 odd hours, we are going to exchange two pieces of precious metal to officially indicate that we are each other’s for as long as possible. However, it has been months since we decided to be each other’s for forever and more.

The journey of us reaching this point will have to wait though. Today, there is a more pressing story to pursue. I’ve an important question that I have to ask her. I’ve already asked her this question before, and I know the answer to it. And, if you have read the heading for this post, you’ll know what the question is. If the question and the answer are already known, the real question is then with regards to the purpose of asking it again.

The original purpose was that I had made a promise to her that I would write about her the day before our engagement. But as the days caught up with me, I found myself at a loss of words. But slowly, there came into view another purpose for this prose. The purpose of this prose now is to remind her why I asked her that question the first time.

Shall we begin then my dear??

***

1. Total disclosure.

If there was a foundation to build our life on, it couldn’t have gotten better than this. Our deal to enforce total disclosure was not the best of ideas back then. It had its rough moments. To compensate for that, it also had its not so rough moments. But what it gave us was the freedom of speech – the freedom to tell what we love/hate about each other. And it’s what paved the way for us to find out that we love as much as possible about the other, and we hate as less as possible about the other.

2. Can’t say no to each other.

The idea of not being able to say NO to the other works marvels when you are with the right person. If not for the right person, it may leave you feeling vulnerable and exploited. But the idea of saying yes to everything you say, keeping full faith and trust in you, is not something I dread, but actually something I enjoy. And I love the fact that you trust me as much, to say yes all the time.

3. You support me supporting Arsenal.

I always feared about how my future other half would feel about my unhealthy obsession with the football club, Arsenal FC. Just the past fortnight tells the whole story. Two Saturdays ago, you saw me go into grumpy mood after the Man United game that we lost 2-1. Over the past two days, you see me merry as we won three games on the trot. I’m highly susceptible to the fortunes of a team playing 8500km away. To understand and handle this fluctuation, on top of the myriad other factors which affect ones mood, is difficult.

And so, I am as happy as I can be, in knowing that you support me supporting Arsenal.

4. Similarities

Just the past week, you knocked your left knee against something, making it swell up. To mirror that, my body decided to skip more than a couple of steps on the stairs. Now, I’ve a swelling on my left ankle. I know you hate me saying this but, "See, we are sooooooooo similar."

Jokes and painful knocks aside, I think we are way too similar than you would like to admit. For starters, we both had to give up an activity that we love because of an ankle ligament injury we had while performing it. You lost your left ankle to dancing, I lost my right ankle to football.

We both decided to try to make it in core engineering and hence, passed up opportunities in other sectors which would have suited us better. We ended up regretting our decisions and chose a different course.

What I mean to say by all this is that we could understand each other’s viewpoints, and more importantly pains, because of these similarities. And that brought us closer.

5. Accepting me

I always feel like I have different personalities to match different situations. One to fit in with my friends, one to fit in with family, one for work, one for strangers, one for acquaintances. When I felt someone/some group needed me to be something else, I make a new personality to match that. For you though, I didn't have to make a new personality. I tried on a lot of different personalities before deciding that being myself was the best option with you. Because you accept me for what I’m.

***

And for these reasons, and lots more, I love you. But most of the time, I love you for no particular reason at all.

I still haven’t decided whether I should go formal and ask

"Ms.Sreerenjini Menon, will you be interested in accepting a proposal of marriage from me??"

Or, whether I should try the other way.

"Ammu, will you be mine forever??"

I am going to put them both away and just ask

"Will you marry me??"

I know we both can’t wait to start our lives together.

***

I think I have just justified my nerd credentials with this writeup. I don’t care. I am lucky enough to find someone who loves me as much I love her. I have refrained from terming us as soulmates during the discourse, but I would be hugely surprised if this isn’t as close as it gets to being soulmates.

And so, let me take your leave. There’s a lady waiting for me, with a ring. I never intend to disappoint her.  Hopefully, we will have a few snapshots of the function when we meet next week. Until then, bye.

Goof ups (5 things - Week 87)

Yes. We're going to talk about some of the more spectacular goof ups, instigated and carried out to imperfection by yours truly. Let me start off with the latest one then.

I normally am very hesitant to buy shoes online. The main reason being I can never be sure that they look as good as they look in the pictures on the site. We live in an age where, with artificial lighting, clever posturing and unbelievable editing, anything that looks as drab as garbage is made to look like next big thing in fashion.

So, it was nothing short of a monumental decision that I made earlier this week to buy shoes from Amazon.in. I went to their site, went to the men's shoes section and put in the filters - size UK11 or above, preferably Puma [as Puma is now sponsoring Arsenal]. And that's how I chanced upon this predominately black, with red designs and a Ferrari symbol "boat" shoe. No. The goof up isn't with respect to it being a "boat" shoe.

I clicked order and spent close to what you would spend for a dinner buffet for two at a Taj restaurant. It got delivered to me, within two days, yesterday. I came back from work, all excited - I made a mental note that this would be what a teenager feels on Xmas day. You know what is inside the package when you are opening. But that doesn't take away the feeling of genuine happiness as you open it. You can't wait to get your hands on it.

Alas, the shoe was only big enough for me to put my hands into it. In the name of the product, there was a "Puma NM Jr". I thought Jr was just an extension to the naming sequence put out by Puma. And since they didn't say it was for kids anywhere in that page, I assumed my assumption to be correct and brought the shoe.

Fortunately, Amazon was kind enough to accept that it was a mistake from both sides which created this situation. Kids shoe in the men's section, along with myself overlooking the Jr. They have accepted my request for return, and will refund me soon.

I guess, all's well that ends well. But it'll be some time before I return to buy shoes online.

And for today, we'll go through five such goof ups as the "5 things" for this week.

Shall we begin then??

***

1. Amazon shoes

The less said, the better.

2. Hollywood chappals

Four months before, I brought chappals from an established local store, Hollywood. In one month, the sole began coming off. I stuck it back together using Fevi-qwik. Last Sunday, it came off completely while I was in the neighborhood of that store. I went in and expressed my lack of satisfaction in the product that they sold. It was then that they said this *conditions apply thing to me.

"This chappal is not intended for rough use. Stay away from water, and it'll be fine."

If you live in Kerala, you'll know that recently, the rain isn't stopping for more than a few days. To avoid water while walking here is like to avoid potholes while driving. But the shop owner was good enough to hear me out, and offer me merchandise for the money I had spent on the original chappals. I went from home wearing half torn chappals. I came back wearing brand new chappals, one belt and a pair of socks. :D

3. Wolverine Tee

I think I might have mentioned this Tshirt before. The first one I brought without parental guidance. A black Tshirt with three cuts across the chest, showing a red underlying layer of cloth. Wearing it would make it look like you just had Wolverine strike you. I still don't remember why I brought that.

4. My phone

Well, get this into your head. When they offer you 10% off on a phone, check if they are going to release the next generation phone in that series anytime soon. If you can wait that long, that's better. Cause they'll selling it at around the same price then. And yes, I fell for the 10% off.

5. My Engagement shirt

"A little lighter."

"I think the last one was better"

"This one is okay, but I think we should check for more options in regular fit. If nothing good comes up, we'll settle on this one."

"Size 42 is not there. Let's check the other shop."

A pleasant Saturday which I had hoped to spend with my fiancée, turned into a sneak-peak of what my future shopping experience would be like. The shirt we finally picked up for the engagement turned out to be a lighter version of what I originally had brought. To spend an equal amount of money to buy another similar shirt is certainly as close to a recent goof up as I can serve to you.

P.S. The lady choosing the shirt isn't always this crazy. She just wants all the wedding proceedings to be as close to the one she has always imagined.

***

It would close to being criminal if I invite you for my engagement only a day before the event. So, let's get the formalities out of the way. I'm getting engaged to this amazing woman on the first Sunday of next month, 7th December 2014. Even if our relationship can wait for a little longer, she is very much due a post dedicated to her. And that's how it's going to be next week. A little bit of added pressure for me.

P.S. Don't remind her that I wrote a post on having that operation on my ass within a week, and I kept her waiting this long. And NO!!! I'm not giving you a link to that operation post. You are welcome to search and find it out for yourself. :P

P.P.S. Technically, it's still Saturday for another 1200 seconds.

***

So, that's all for this week then.

Have a great weekend!!

'til next week.

Excel(lent) Hacking (5 things - Week 86)

I think I've mentioned this before. After years of hearing that a good academic record is the foundation on which a career is built, someone who graduates out of a professional college expects to use all those things they have learned over two decades to show their class in the office. Alas, for most of us, it's a different, and most probably, a sad little ending.

We are not allowed to use only the desired high end software and technology. At the end of a day's or project's work, we always end up using the same software that your local DTP shop uses - MS Office. Why?? One word - DOCUMENTATION.

No matter whether you are designing toilets to go on a spacecraft heading for Mars, or just a plain old toilet; at the end of the project, before it's release, you've to sit down and write prose about whatever you had just done. I've worked in two very different fields, and this is the common factor at both places.

I guess it's because documentation is part of the ISO certification processes that most institutions undergo these days. To get certified with the appropriate certification, you are required to maintain the proper documents regarding whatever is the process or transaction that you are performing at your organization.

I once had a junior ask me, what is the difference between us and DTP people?? My reply was that the DTP people just made what was kept in front of them. We are supposed to understand, modify, verify and then create these critical documents. And the other difference is that we have knowledge of all these hacks - these shortcuts. We know how to finish the job by 5pm instead of 9pm.

And it is some hacks of this nature that we are going to discuss for the "5 things" of this week. Shall we begin then??

***

1. Formulas and Macros

Now, I can't teach you each and every function that is provided to us - because there's too many. Nor can I teach you about the macros - because I don't know what the heck that is myself. But if you can master them both, it's said that you can master the tool completely. Let me just guide you onto this site, which provides detailed explanation of all formulas in Excel. The only issue is that you have to figure what to use for your application.

http://www.techonthenet.com/excel/formulas/

2. Ctrl + PgUp/PgDown

Use these to move back and forth among the various sheets in the excel file you have kept open.

3.  Ctrl/Shift + Space

This allows you to select an entire row or column. Use Shift button to select the entire current row. Use Ctrl button to select the entire current column

4. Ctrl + <arrow keys>/<backspace>

Using the arrow keys, will move the cursor to the next word in the document, or next populated cell in the spreadsheet. You could use backspace to delete the previous word too.

5. F4

This is the mother of all hacks. One press of that button lying inconspicuously at the top left corner of your keyboard and Excel is forced to do the last action you did on the current selection. If you had just done some cell formating, Excel does the same on the currently selected cells. If you had inserted a new row, Excel inserts a new row at your current selection.

***

There's one more thing though. If you just search in the net for "Excel hacks", you'll get a lot of sites which shall give you a lot more hacks than the ones I have mentioned over here. But just knowing the hacks doesn't make you an "expert" in Excel. You've to use them properly. And to use them properly, you must be as lazy as only a lazy genius could be.

To borrow an idea from some wise guy, most of the items of daily use intended to reduce human effort are the work of geniuses who were so lazy that they went out and made something to do it for them. Likewise, just knowing these hacks ain't enough. You gotta be truly lazy to use them at the apt places. Hope you can find that inner laziness that is required of you.

***

So, that's all for this week then.

Have a great weekend!!

'til next week.

5 things - It's OFFICIAL!!!

Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen, it's Official.

No. Not that. There's still [starts counting on his fingers - realizes that there are more days than fingers on his hands - decides to use all toes on one foot and the pinky toe on the other to come up with the magic number, which is] 16 more days for that.

What I wanted to let you people know is that I've finally decided to give in to the relentless pressure of having to write every Friday night. Like I've mentioned before, I used to have enough time on my hands before. Due to a multitude of reasons - official works, daily travel pains, personal timeouts - I've had to thrown in my metaphorical towel. I'm very sorry.

If you ask me whether I can't churn out 1000 words for our benefit every Friday night like we have done before, I can't deny my ability to do so. But just spewing forth a thousand words is not enough. I had rather have time to toy with the idea I want to present - to know what I want to do with it, how and in what exact words should I let you know about my thoughts on the same, where I want to lead you on to, etc etc.

If I'm going to give you an idea half-baked, I had rather sit on that idea for some time. What I've been doing for the last few weeks is equivalent to someone with constipation does. Sit there long enough while forcing yourself as much as you can - there'll always bound to be some output. What I want to do is sit on it like a hen roosting. I want to nurture it and let it break open from its shell and come out as a live chicken.

[We would to break this broadcast to bring you this SHAMELESS PLUG to the most read post on this page. If you don't know what's the relation between Ormayundo? and chicken, there's only one way to find out - and you know it's just one click away. We'll be back with more Shameless plugs after these messages.]

So, after giving it some serious thoughts, I've decided to shift our weekly blogging routine conversations to Saturday. I'll have one extra day to think through whatever I want to write, and hopefully the output will have more quality to quantity ratio.

Tomorrow's topic - currently - is some hacking methods. Not how to hack into Pakistan University websites to avenge an attack on your favorite actor's website, but since most of us are using computers and smartphones a lot, I thought it would be helpful to share some tricks which I've picked up over the years.

***

So, that's all for today then.

Have a great weekend!!

'til tomorrow.

Social Experiments (5 things - Week 85)

So last night I left the following message here in this post..

"
Considering the fact that the last time I had to do a conversation like this was when I found out that I might have won one of dengue-typhoid-jaundice lottery, you can guess my state right now. As I was physically wrecked that day, I can say with some surety that that isn't the case today. Today, if you meet me right now, you'll find me ghosting through things. It's my mental state that's been compromised.

No. I haven't gone full on mental. I'm only insane within the limits of insanity. But the proceedings at office have ensured that I don't have any mojo left to even squeeze out a conversation - something I have been guilty of in the past few weeks. I guess this is a tipping point. Whether I fall over or fall back, we'll know only in the coming weeks. As of today, I haven't made a conscious decision to shift the posting day to Saturday or Sunday, but I guess I won't be left with a choice given my situations.

So, you'll, hopefully, find the full blog here by this time tomorrow. I will leave you with a teaser. The topic is Social Experiments, and the 5 things are - recounting leaving my zip open for a whole day, dimming the lights on the road, keeping the water running from the tap, giving way to others on the road, and one surprise item. The surpriase is not a surprise because I haven't thought about it. I have. Sachii.
"

You can see that the teething process at my new workplace, that I mentioned in our conversation last week, hasn't completely subdued yet. I don't know when it'll be over. Once it's over we'll have found a rhythm - a work life balance if you would let me call it so. That rhythm will help determine how, when and in what quality our future conversations are forged.

Scientists throughout the ages have studied how such rhythms are established. They found that it's not reached in a single cycle. It's a long, tedious and time consuming process. It uses a loop, which with proper feedback, achieves a state that it stays at, until it's disturbed again. For those interested in expanding their intellect in the nuances of the above, I would recommend at least one post graduate degree in advanced control systems, accompanied with significant practical experience in the field.

Even though I just said that the process is highly complicated to be understood by a layman, it was in no way meant to indicate that it's only something that you see in labs and kind. In fact, that process is the way most of the things get worked out in our life. It's something we all use.

Are you confused?? At least a little bit?? Well I have a few handy examples. You don't have to know the direction an electron flows to switch on the light in your room, do you?? You don't have to know the register settings of your Intel processor to use your computer, do you?? You don't have to understand the rules of English grammar to understand what I mean by all of this. Do you??  (o_O)

Similarly, without knowing the theory behind the process, you actually have been using the process all your life. It's something which was hardcoded into us. Like to stick close to your parents when you are little. Like having the propensity to have fears, etc etc.

And using these processes, we create rhythms. And using those rhythms, we create patterns and habits. We have already covered the habits of an individual in an earlier conversation. In today's conversation, we'll look at the habits of a society. In particular, we'll look at the results of a few social experiments that yours truly had carried out.

Shall we begin then??

***

1. Experiment - Open Fly

Procedure - Keep your zip open for an entire day and check how many people bring that to your attention. Before you start moral policing me, let me make it clear that I meant the zip of your bag, not anywhere else. If you thought anywhere else, it was your thought train - not mine. I can't take responsibility.

Result - About 5 people of the many I met that day provided positive responses.

Inference - The pass percentage is very low. It might be because they are too busy in their world of problems, or because they are not that much inclined to make such acute observations in daily life without being instructed to do so. Nothing to cause an alarm though. At least, people are generally quite helpful, if you ask them for help.

2. Experiment - Lights on road

Procedure - While driving at night on the highway, try to make an incoming vehicle dim it's light by alternating yours.

Result - Any positive result depends on your luck. If somebody does dim their light, I recommend you to stop at the nearest lottery booth and take a ticket for the lottery that will be drawn first.

Inference - People are generally selfish.

3. Experiment - Keeping the tap open

Procedure - When you go to use the loo at a public arena, keep the water tap open (if it isn't already). When you come back to wash, check if it is closed or not.

Result - Three out of eight is not good, but not bad either.

Inference - At least some people care about the environment.

4. Experiment - Giving way

Procedure - When you are driving in the city, check how many blocks are formed by people not giving way to others.

Result - Half of the blocks are made from this kind. The other half is made by the private security people minding the road.

Inference - A mix of experiment numbers 1 and 2. People are too resistant to go out of their way to help others. And even if they overcome the resistance, they are too selfish.

5. Experiment - Smile

Procedure - Just smile at random people - in the crowd, at the office, on the road, in the car which almost crushed you onto the divider, etc etc.

Result - Surprisingly, after a blank moment of "why the heck is this guy smiling at me for?", most of the participants in the experiments attempted their own at attempts at smiling - some were feeble efforts, some were a little discomforting.

Inference - There's hope for mankind.

***

Extra Experiment - Evaluate yourself.

Procedure - On any random day, instead of being the evaluating entity, subject yourself as the test specimens to all the experiments given above.

Result - Pending.

Inference - Depending on the result, you are either in the majority or the minority. For a better world, I hope you are in the minority.

***

***

So, that's all for this week then.

Have a great weekend!!

'til next week.

Nothing's here (5 things - Week 85) [Well sort of]

Considering the fact that the last time I had to do a conversation like this was when I found out that I might have won one of dengue-typhoid-jaundice lottery, you can guess my state right now. As I was physically wrecked that day, I can say with some surety that that isn't the case today. Today, if you meet me right now, you'll find me ghosting through things. It's my mental state that's been compromised.

No. I haven't gone full on mental. I'm only insane within the limits of insanity. But the proceedings at office have ensured that I don't have any mojo left to even squeeze out a conversation - something I have been guilty of in the past few weeks. I guess this is a tipping point. Whether I fall over or fall back, we'll know only in the coming weeks. As of today, I haven't made a conscious decision to shift the posting day to Saturday or Sunday, but I guess I won't be left with a choice given my situations.

So, you'll, hopefully, find the full blog here by this time tomorrow. I will leave you with a teaser. The topic is Social Experiments, and the 5 things are - recounting leaving my zip open for a whole day, dimming the lights on the road, keeping the water running from the tap, giving way to others on the road, and one surprise item. The surpriase is not a surprise because I haven't thought about it. I have. Sachii.

***

So, that's all for this week then.

Have a great weekend!!

'til next week.

Salt'n'Pepper (5 things - Week 84)

I didn’t want to admit to this, but yes, it’s true. I’ve been ignoring you. And contrary to my initial prognosis, it’s not the fact that I was recently employed again. After all, the crux of the material here were allegedly written when I was supposed to be at the office I was previously employed at. But then again, I can’t take all the blame away from that fact.

The process of getting re-acclimatized with the rigours of meeting targets and sitting at one place for more hours than recommended is all, but over for me. But that process did show its effects – the number of late conversation here over the past two months has been alarming. Which all lets us on to believe that those days are behind us. I hope so.

Part of the reason those days were upon us was that I took some time off before starting on the blog. I didn’t start as soon as I got home from work. The week before I decided to catch up on the latest CASTLE episode before writing. The week before that I decided to watch the ISL match before writing. And the week before that week was the week I did something I don’t remember now before writing.

So what is the reason for this week? Well, I was busy stuffing my mouth with the culinary offerings of one of the best restaurants in my town. You can’t blame me. After a tiring week, I wanted to enjoy some delicacies and that’s exactly what I did. And in case you want to do the same, here’s my list of the top 5 places to dine at in Thiruvananthapuram as the '5 things' for this week.

***

5. Thattukada, Bakery Junction

Dosa, chutney and vadas are the staple food of most households, and so, you would expect your taste buds to be blunt to their attacks at a local restaurant. But there's this something about the food from a Thattukada, which makes it absolutely delicious. And the one at Bakery Junction serves the best I've tried.

4. That fishy place near RBI

This is for the owners of that restaurant - I'm very sorry, but I fail to recollect the name of your institution. Even though I’ve visited your place only once, showing me that appam and fish curry is  a good combination was eye opening to say the least. And I would be back soon.

3. Annapoorna, East Fort

There are few places you can go to, if you yearn for a purely veg meal. If so, Annapoorna at East Fort is definitely worth a go. When a non vegetarian goes vegan, it's hard for him to satisfy his hunger. But I've never left this restaurant unsatisfied.

2. Zamzam, Palayam

The place I’m going back home from now. This is by far the best place to dine in at in Thiruvananthapuram. Chicken delicacies are their specialties and boy are they special. I had lost count of the days when we, those of this city, would lament Zamzam not opening a branch at Gurgaon.

1. My house

I won’t claim that my Mom is the best cook in the world. Titles like that are determined by constraints that more arbitrary than I would like them to be. But if you are in town, and you want to try out homely food, do drop in. Oh and make sure that you let me know that you are coming at least a day before. Otherwise, you won’t be getting the specials.

***

It's getting late. Tomorrow is another step into the future. I can't wait to arrange my thoughts and get back to you. I guess she's wondering why I haven't written anything, but a few sentences here and there, about her. I write freely about the trivial things happening in my life. This is nothing short of monumental. And I want my first post that's entirely dedicated to her to be worthy of it. And it might not come until the first week of December.

***

So, that's all for this week then.

Have a great weekend!!

'til next week.

Agenda (5 things - Week 83)

Do you want to know something?? Of course, you would. Why else would you digress from your daily routine; stray from your usual pattern; walk down the not-so-less trodden path into this conversation??

Apparently, it has been made known to me that we don't have a clearcut agenda for this weekly conversation. And, as the person who commented claimed, having an agenda is like kissing in public. Some people will accept it, some others will always be against it, but you can be sure as hell that they'll all check in every now and then to see if there are any hot smooches going on.

*note

before proceeding any further, I hereby proclaim that "-ists" is an official word for this conversation. The meaning of "-ists" is to indicate an object, or group of people or a single person, anything, which follows the principles of the word given before it. Refer two paragraphs below for examples.

*end of note

And in this age, we have a lot of agenda-ists portals. Facebook is a prime example. But even though the agenda is same for everyone, the number of agendas on there is as numerous as the number of users on it, maybe more. Every other social networking site is the same.

Then there are the atheists, the theists, the pro-Modis, the anti-Modis, the caste-ists, the fetish-ists, the how-to-do-this-and-that-ists, the we-sell-everything-here-including-our-souls-ists, we-buy-everything-here-including-your-soul-ists, the we-have-so-many-pictures-of-dumb-people-doing-dumb-things-ists, etc etc.

If we had to have a dashed-instead-of-spaced phrase for our own use, it would be we-don't-know-how-you-got-here-but-we-dont-care-,-we-just-want-you-to-have-a-good-time-even-if-it-means-scaring-you-away-with-our-craziness-ists.

So, is it better to have an agenda, or not? It's a little bit of a sore spot to scrape. You can never live your life without an agenda, but your life should never be an agenda.

As we are talking about life, shall I interest you in this little comic on "Life and donuts"?? It's nothing less than mind-blowing. As it is too long, I've put it at the very end of the conversation, so that it loads by the time you reach the end.

Coming back to agendas, I'll never claim that we don't have an agenda here. I write to feel a sense of accomplishment, to get a feeling of having done something for someone. Most of the stuff here are either personal, or highly coloured in the way I see life. It's not a wide angle shot of the valley imbibing all it's beauty, but more like looking at the valley through a crack in the dark room you are in.

And why do I do it?? I need to have an outlet to release all these pent up emotions inside me. Before I started writing regularly, I was regularly playing football. Running hither thither till every last one of us was dead tired was the way for me to unwind after a week of work. But on 26th October, 2012, I made a swift turn on a stationary ball, snapping all three ligaments on my right ankle, leaving the doctor no other option than to advice me to stay away from anything requiring quick physical responses.

*note

Regular readers would notice that this is the umpteenth time I've mentioned this accident. I really wanted to stop being stale like this. It's the reason why I broke my promise and refrained from having an extra conversation last week on its second anniversary. Sachii.

*end of note

Well, for the "5 things" for this week, we'll go through five sporting personalities I could have been, if not for the cruel twist of fate. We shall ignore the fact that I started taking part in any kind of sports, even of the school ground-ish variety, only in my early 20s. Shall we begin then??

***

1. FOOTBALLER

Aaah. How great it would have been to earn a living as a professional footballer?? If I've another life as a human on this planet, it would be to be a professional footballer. And for this life, one of my secret aim is to jump to a career in football commentary. I practice it whenever I play FIFA these days. And no, it didn't start because my brother and myself got bored of the Russian commentary on the cracked version of FIFA we don't have.

2. BASKETBALL-ER??

The thought process in most people's head when they meet me, and we are talking about sports, "You are tall. The basket on a basketball court is vertically challenging. You get points for putting the ball in that basket - the correct basket.", which ends up with them saying, "Heyy.. You must play basketball a lot."

And no, I don't.

3. CRICKETER

This idea actually came from an uncle of mine, who opined that the long fingers on either hands of mine, along with the high point of release of the ball, would have made me an amazing swing bowler. The only reason I used to play cricket was that I didn't have to move a lot most of the time. The reason why I left playing cricket was that they never gave me a chance to bat most of the time.

4. BADMINTON PLAYER

The only claim I've for being a badminton player is three months of playing badminton in the mid 2012s.

5. MARATHON RUNNER

This idea actually came from me as I have run out of other ideas. Do the math for this yourself. I'll give you a hint. Long legs + long distance = lesser number of steps overall.

***

I don't have much of an epilogue to add to this. I just saw in Facebook that one of my better friends when I was in Gurgaon's birthday was today, and I haven't wished him till now. Less than two hours left for the day to be over. I better grab the phone. And I guess, Facebook isn't all that bad. Everything has a silver lining.

I was introduced to interesting souls because they read what I wrote. We connected on a higher level sooner because she loves to read what I write. And the reason I write today is because I tried that swift turn on a football on that cold night. Like I said, everything has a silver lining. It just takes some time to come good.

***

So, that's all for this week then.

Have a great weekend!!

'til next week.

***

LIFE AND DONUTS

LAZY AS ... (5 things - Week 82)

If you remember, I started writing our conversation from last week at 9 pm, finishing it in an hour or so. And it got positive response. And it was put forward to me that the conversations are better when I have little time to play them out in my mind. They are more interesting when it's impromptu. So, I decided to start on this one at 10 pm.

Just kidding, this is me being lazy - as is my right, right?? Let's get down to business then. What is the first thing in the agenda? Yea, right.

Visit this parallel conversation to know the first thing on the agenda. Here, in this conversation, we'll be talking mainly about the second thing on the agenda - about how lazy yours truly really is.

***

1. Mahabharata: Why is Lord Krishna called the master of finesse in the Mahabharat?

Read this wonderful answer on why Lord Krishna might have been the most brilliant person in the Indian epic. Absolutely brilliant interpretation of the story.

2. Why is Blue LED a Nobel Prize deserving deal?

Yes, three physicists got the Nobel Prize this year for making Blue LED. Wonder why? Follow that link.

3. Is it possible that an alien civilization has completely different mathematics than ours?

Just because a question might seem crazy and complex doesn't mean the answer can't be simple and arousing "duh" from our mental vocal cords.

4. What is the craziest story you have heard from SRM University, Chennai (Main Campus)?

In a nutshell, it's "Forced into engineering, but moving on and finding success in another field". But this old wine has some really good "feelgood" punch to it in this new bottle.

5. What are some things that programmers and computer scientists know, but most people don't?

So, who hasn't "Right click-click REFRESH" to make their system clear its memory? Well, here's the truth about it.

***

Now, you know how lazy I can be. So lazy that I skipped the preface, So lazy that I'll most probably be skipping the epilogue. So lazy that I gave links to questions that people with relevant expertise have answered in the interesting site that is www.quora.com. [Do join the site. It's my new Stumble Upon.]

Continuing the rant after that short break to thank the sponsors.

So lazy that I didn't want to hit backspace and correct the title into the correct case - I had left the CAPS lock ON. So lazy that I don't want find a simile to complete the title. But still I write. No matter how little, no matter how irrelevant, no matter how crazy, I write.

She read as he wrote.

To give her something to read, he wrote.

To give him something to write, she read.

It was nothing, but the perfect love story.

***

I know this was crap. This is the sort of literary works that you hide under your coffin. But I had made a pact with you to keep talking to you every week at this time. And between friends, there will always be conversations that you wish you could just forget. This was one of those. I'll make up for this with a good one tomorrow. Promise.

***

So, that's all for now then.

Have a great weekend!!

'til next week.

Expectation vs REALITY (5 things - Week 81)

In the multiple interviews that I've attended over the past year, I've made sure to point out to the panel that I'm an avid blogger. Not just an avid blogger, but also a compulsive one at that. The fact that I always write and publish on Friday nights and that too with a track record of 81 weeks now is something I make sure that they find out by the end of the interview. At this point, I get the question that I had been expecting all along.

"How do you do find time for this, while discharging your other duties?"

If I had become the evil mastermind I tried to be, I would have done my patented evil laugh. Why you ask? Well, the deer walked right into the lion's den. The worm slithered into the mouth of the bird. The wind blew into the sails. The sun shone right on the installed solar panels. The....... uh.. Okay. I'm falling short of more analogies. You get the idea, right?

Well, for that question, I've my stock reply. I'm not releasing it to the public, as it is an active instrument of mass impression in my arsenal. I'll reduce it to just an idea though - efficient time management.

Well, that is the expectation at least. If you ask me whether the reality is that I started writing this at 9pm on a Friday evening, I will never admit to it. Because reality is never as enticing as the expectation.

And for the "5 things" for this week, we'll look at five such "Expectation vs Reality " scenarios. Shall we begin then?

***

1. My Interview MO

As was mentioned before.

2. Food poisoning

When we hear someone has been poisoned, we think of them having seizures, falling down senseless with foam frothing at their mouth. So, it is something similar that we expect when we hear for the first time the phrase 'food poisoning'. It's not until we understand what they actually mean do we imagine them running to and fro from the bathroom.

3. Point No.3

Your expectation is for me to give you a third point. But the reality is that I won't.

4. An SMS conversation that happened four years ago.

*Kadu is the acacia forest in our campus which was the usual hangout spot for everyone in college.

"I took out my mobile and typed, "aliya.. whr u?? i'm in kadu.."

Sent it to everyone in my gang.. And dis is d chat tht happened aftrwards..

Jaison - I'm in class patti.. Why the heck did u cut class?

Me - Oh.. oru mood illa.. I cant sit in his class without fallin asleep..

Ponni - da.. i'm comin.. wait.. i'm near post office..

Jaison - Ivide padippichu thallukaya.. wht u gonna do thr??

Me - Ponni's comin.. Gonna play cricket..

Jaison - Ponni's in lab manda..

Me - He got out early.. othrs comin too.. :P

Jaison - dey.. think he's endin class now.. come n get attendance..

Me - I'm thr in one minute..

All this wud hav made more sense if it had happened atleast two months before, not today afternoon..

Atleast if,

Jaison waasnt in pala,

Ponni wasnt in Bengalaru,

and I wasnt sittin in the cafeteria in my office.."

5. Parent's height

It was something that I noticed this week. We had grown up from an young age looking up at our parents. And it wasn't until I was mentally comparing my height with my parents earlier this week that I realized that even though I could physically measure and prove that I'm taller than them now, in my mind they will always be taller than me.

***

Not much else to say really. A tinge of fever and more than enough servings of backpain, I was given the opportunity of availing my first leave at the new job. This is the first fever I'm having in over a year. To paraphrase what someone said in some movie, it seems like my body was waiting for me to get a job so that I would take a leave to take care of it.

***

So, that's all for this week then.

Have a great weekend!!

'til next week.

Pet-ty Things (5 things - Week 80)

So, when I told him that today's post is inspired by the antics of a three year old, I was expecting a taunt to the tune of "stealing candy from a baby". I wasn't disappointed.

"Let me just get this straight. You are telling me that you are ready to stoop so low in your rampant plagiarizitation* in the name of writing every week, that you are now stealing ideas from a child."

*copyright pending. will be soon added to the Oxford dictionary.

Personally, I wouldn't call this stealing. It's not like my nephew confided in me the contents of this post. As a part of my duty of being a creative outlet, I observed him as he goes about his day. And, like I mentioned before, his antics, his reactions and his experiences  have inspired me to write.

Again, it's not like he is going to sit down and write about it. Although he has a significant command over the alphabets, and despite being highly imaginative, his works of prose and poetry are more in the vocal medium. It's something similar to the human evolution. We have heard that before any form of writing was professionally started, information was passed down generations by word of mouth and songs - voices notes, if I may say so.

By the time he is able to collect his thoughts into a coherent form to provide us with a visual treat, he'll have had outgrown his current mental state. The pure innocence, the ecstatic joys, the unbridled curiosity and the open mind of a child will be lost to the ways of this world. It's for this reason that observing a child in action brings you so much joy - they are aloof from the rules that bind us.

It's for the same reason that I admire people who are able to write stories for children. They have an acute sense of observation that leaves them with mindset of a child. Three such blessed minds are Enid Blyton, Richmal Crompton and R K Narayan (today happens to be his birthday). If you haven't read their books in your childhood, it is a loss. If you haven't read them even now, you are missing out even more.

So, what was the incident that flagged off this thought train? Ambadi, my nephew was down with fever last week. Even though he got better soon, he needed something to make him feel better. And to that effect, his parents took him to a local pet shop and got for him some more fish to put into the aquarium at home. You should have seen his face after getting them.

The subsequent enactments by him in this week were concerned with going to a pet shop, buying some fish, taking them home, putting them in the aquarium, and when it gets boring, taking them out, frying them and then cutting them into pieces. Oh!! And all fish, no matter what kind or quantity, are worth only two rupees.

More than these antics, what was more endearing was the way he reacted to these new additions to his life. Having pets is an important part of growing up, and it is something we, as city-bred children, have to do without. Or have to a very small extent. Like this.

And for the "5 things" for this week, we'll look at my misplaced attempts to be the owner of a pet. Shall we begin then??

***

1. Chicken

KFC!!!

Ok. Not that kind of chicken. The little colourful ones that we see heroines singing to in the movies. And these were my first official pets - about ten of them. When I first broke my leg, I was not even two years old. My parents used them to distract me from my immobility. Sadly, I don't remember anything about them.

2. Fish

One of the more common city pets. I find it hard to recollect the exact species we had, or why we had them, or what happened to them. You might think that this is a figment of my imagination, but I have definite proof in the form of a broken fish tank lying around in our storage room.

3. Rabbits

One day, my father came home with two rabbits. They were cute and cuddly and pooping everywhere inside the house. So, we put them in a cage outside. The dogs were kind enough to leave behind the rabbits' fur for us to find the next day.

4. Ducks

One day, my parents came home with five ducks. We were more cautious with them. So, they lived until they were too big for the tub we let them swim in. And one died of gulping down a fish too fast. We decided to let them go. We dropped them off at a farm.

5. Mittu

If you hadn't noticed, I've used a name for the first time. After years of struggle, my brother and myself were able to finally get a pet worthy enough to have a name. Mittu was the only dog I've ever had the opportunity to be close to, without my mind going into overdrive about whether the dog is going to bite me the next second. He came to us a pup, a cross between a Pomeranian and a common street dog. And he was quite the handful.

A joy to have around, there are videos and photos of him to prove to me that I did have a pet once. Once he reached a certain age (the "I am going to hump everything" age), we had to move him on, back to the place from where we brought him from. I couldn't, and didn't, make the journey to see him off.

***

I have intentionally left out a few cats we nurtured. Since they don't stick to one place, get eaten by dogs and leave scratch marks, I didn't mention them. Cutey and Curra [they were twins. Cutticura - get it??] were growing up in the empty plot next to our house, and we used to just sit at the window and watch them go about their day. That stopped once construction started in that plot also. Also, worthy of a honorable mention is the unnamed cat which was lost to the dogs.

***

When I got back home today, I came to know that Ambadi is down with a type of measles. But there is a silver lining. His dad went out and got him some company. At least he'll have a picture to remember them by,

***

So, that's all for this week then.

Have a great weekend!!

'til next week.