5 things I learned this week (Part 15)

I got nothing to complain about this week.

Nothing. Nada. Nil. Zilch. *all these words mean Zero.

There wasn't anything (ridiculously) wrong with the work this week; I got good food through out; there are no new diseases to pester me; after two months of stuttering and breakdowns, my bike has finally started running smoothly; the summer showers were late, but they finally arrived this week to ease the heat - so I can't even complain about the weather. Like I said, during this particular week, nothing has happened for me to complain about.

This has lead to an uncomfortable consuquence. I don't have anything to moan about in the blog post for this week. Maybe those among you, who are adept at picking up patterns, have noticed it long before. But I noticed it recently only that, almost always, I start a blogpost in this series with a complaint. And over the course of four months, what was meant to be conversation starter has become the conversation.

I typed in, and then deleted, about four different topics before settling in to this one. I couldn't find a coherent string of words to continue the topics I had started because they weren't necessarily complaints. So, in order to have a post, I decided to complain about the fact that I've nothing to complain about. Such is my state now. :-/

I don't know who we can blame for this. A week, like a day, can be like a week you have had before. Life is after all a repetition of history. And this repetition makes everything look blunt. We don't have anything to be amused about, we don't have anything to be concerned for; we look at the events unravelling around us, and say "Meh!". We just don't care about it, cos it fails to dial up the interest levels in us.

But then, something happens. A faint rumour, a new info, a funny incident - something which spikes up our interest. And for this blunt week, I am going to try and give you five such surprises.

Did you know...

1. ... that there is a word to describe the smell of rain on dry earth?

Now who amongst us haven't felt good on smelling "that" frangance, which fills the air when the summer rains reach the earth. And they have coined a word to describe the same. "Petrichor" is defined as "the distinctive scent which accompanies the first rain after a long warm dry spell". Now, you know what to say when you smell this heavenly scent. ;)

2. ... that there is a famous West Indian cricketer from the past, who is of Indian origin?

I'm not talking about anyone in the current crop of players. Now we have a South African playing cricket for England, Polish and Turkish footballers playing international games for Germany, and what not.

The person I'm talking about is a double World Cup winner (1975 and 1979); is considered to be one of the best exponents of ODI cricket; and was adjudged to be only behind Sir Don Bradman and Sachin Tendulkar among the All time greats in Test Cricket.

Remember to have your face in that expression as you read the next line.

The cricketer I was talking about was Sir Isaac Vivian Alexander Richards, known affectionately as Viv Richards, and he is a Malayali.

The "Alexander" in his name belongs to his grandfather, Mr. Alexander 'Tintu' Richards, who migrated to West Indies and settled there. (again thanks to Rakesh for bringing this cricket related info to our attention.)

So, the next time I meet Sir Viv, I'll say "Enthokkae unde vishesham?"
*"So what's going on with you" in Malayalam. 

3. ... that, in the standard set of playing cards, the Kings are called Caesar, David, Alexander and Charles??

And this is not some random naming. They are taken from history or mythology.

• King of Diamonds: Caesar (presumably after Julius Caesar)
• King of Spades: David (a biblical king)
• King of Clubs: Alexander (king of Macedonia)
• King of Hearts: Charles (presumably after Charlemagne)

4. ... that someone found a new way to get a gal's phone number??

If you are an average specimen of the male kind, you know how hard it is to get a gal's phone number.

But fear not anymore, for a friend has devised a new way to do the same.

*if you are a gal, please skip the next line; Guys, make the next line by heart.

Give her your number and ask her to add you in Whatsapp. ;)

5. ... that there are some pessimistic people in this world, who can never be happy??

You all must be having that one friend who is suspicious of anything good happening to them. The ones, who are so afraid of bad things happening to them, that they forget to enjoy the moment. Well, they have a condition called "Cherophobia". This is the second combination of Greek words that we come across here today, and it means "fear of happiness."

P.S. I've Cherophobia.

On that bright note, let me take your leave.

That's all folks!!!
Have a great weekend!!!

5 things I learned this week (Part 14)

Normal people categorize their working days into three - good, neutral, bad.

Well, I on the other hand have just two - crappy day & "well, it looks like everyone here has food poisoning" day.

I hope you have enough grey cells up top to know which kind of day I just had.

I would have normally gone on a rant about why, who, what, how and all, but I'm being restrained by whatever is left of my sanity. (based on the reasoning that this is the only job I've now)

Sorry, but this is not how I wanted to start off today's post. I had an entirely different and, if I might take the liberty to say so, a super-awesome blog typed in. But that will have to wait for another day to see the outside world. For now, you are stuck with bad-mood-hari.

Yes, you just saw me refer to myself in third person. I do that. A lot. It's not like there's any law in this land which forbids me to do so. I refer to myself in third person whenever I don't feel normal. So, there's weird-hari, there's hyper-hari, there's bad-mood-hari. There's also sexy-hari, but we don't him to be here right now.

This trait of mine, where I use self-referral in third person, can be categorized as multiple personality disorder. Just over the past one week, I've had more than four people I mingle with on a daily basis, say to me that they think someone else writes this blog. According to them, my personality and my blog's personality doesn't match. Some even said that my blog personality is cool, compared to my real one. (even though I prefer not to believe them)

I hadn't given a thought to whether I act different around here, but once I did, I found that here, I do do a lot of things that I normally don't.

For example, I don't normally use the words "ass" or "sexy" in my vocal vocabulary, but they have made their presence felt in the posts in this blog.

I don't necessarily talk a lot, but I do here.

I don't use, in a week, the amount of English that I use here in a post.

You get the idea na.

This outburst, this this this... I had read of a word for this thing that I do, where I turn my mind inside out in words. I'll let you know if I find it again. Anyways, as I was saying, this thing, this conversation that we just did here has purged my mind of the pains I had today. Thank you.. ;)

Anyways, it's nearly 7pm. I'm to get off from work in 10 minutes. Then I've to take my bike for service(yet again). I'll get back to you after I get home.

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Well, what took you a few  seconds to scroll through took me an entire hour and half. Just back home, and I'm already in front of the internet again. You know why? Not only because I'm a net freak, but I've to do this week's post, and I still haven't got the "5 things" for this week.

Luckily, a journey which involved a bike ride, then a shared auto ride, then a metro ride and an auto ride at the end gave me enough time to think about what to say. So, here we go.

Did you know...

1. ... that "Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo" is a grammatically correct sentence in American English?

It's true only in American English, cos one of the buffalo in there is a place called Buffalo in America. To know why, how and more sentences like this, go to this wiki page.

2. ... that Mr.Dhoni has only the 'Ashes' series to win, among the major competitions in Cricket?

Obviously, he can't win that. But still it's a pretty good notion to keep in mind.

By the way, if you thought that the ashes series was called so because somebody burned the ashes into a urn, then you are partially wrong. Before that event took place, a mock obituary appeared in the British press, which said that English cricket has died, and after the cremation, the Australian team will be leaving with the 'ashes'. That name stuck when the English press hailed it's heroes for bringing back the ashes the next time.

Here's the link to the wiki page. Hat tip to Rakesh for this clarification.

3. ... that I know that you might not know what 'Hat tip' means?

Don't take this the wrong way. I'm not gloating that I've very good vocab. There's a difference between showing off and teaching, and I always try to keep myself to the teaching side of it. What I talk about in a day depends on the things I learned/found out that day. This is a word I came across today, and here's the explanation of this word, 'Hat tip'.

4. ... that I was kept really busy this week cos of work and other things?

Sorry, but I don't have any more points for now. I'm not a literary expert to churn out prose every week. I've my limitations. But I'll point you towards something I had written earlier this week, 'Aise na mujhe tum dekho', wherein I pay tribute to a musical genius.
5. ... that just cos you have a car loan to pay back doesn't mean that I've to stay for overtime?

I think I can get away with saying just that much. ;)


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Well, that's all folks!!

Have a great weekend!!!

Aise Na Mujhe Tum Dekho......

Kishore Kumar.

This multifaceted personality needs no introduction. Well, I hope he doesn't.

In case you don't know exactly who he is, Google and Wikipedia can help you in knowing his illustrious career. But here, in this post, I’ll be telling you who he is to me.

I must have been introduced to his voice very early in my life. My father had cassettes and cassettes of his songs, and he used to buy more whenever he got a chance. And since he is used to having songs playing in the background (like son, like father :P), we had the original KK's sound reverberating through our house all the time.

And what a voice it was!! He has sung songs that reflect all your moods and situations, no matter whether you are

• feeling happy (om shanti om)
• feeling sad (ye kya hua)
• feeling dejected (mera jeevan kora kaagaz)
• feeling weird (Ina meena deeka)
• feeling overzealously happy (bachna he haseeno)
• going to meet a girl (aaj unse pehli mulaqaat hogi)
• just met an unknown girl (ek ajnabe haseena se)
• thinking of an unknown girl (aata jaate khoob surat)
• thinking of the neighbour's daughter (mere samne waale khirki)
• thinking of your dream girl (dream girl & mere sapno ki rani)
• feeling lost (musaafir hun yaaron)
• nostalgic about friends (yeh dosti)
• feeling romantic (pal pal dil ke pass)
• trying to make your wife happy (raat kali ek khawab me aayi)

I know that watching all these songs are going to eat into your data usage for the month, but I can assure you, you won't regret it. I'm yet to meet a person who says that he/she doesn't like the songs of Kishore da ("da" as in brother in the Bengali language).

Well, I started off trying to tell you what his voice meant to me, and in accordance with my usual behaviour here, I've gone on and talked about something else altogether. Let me get back to the topic.

I'm the sort of guy, who never sticks to a certain genre in music. One morning I'm hearing devotional songs, the next day it'll be romantic, and the day after it'll some classic rock/jazz song. I consider myself as a nomad in the world of music - never sticking to one place, always roaming around in search of something better. But for me, when the dearth of fresh music starts to stifle my senses, the songs of Kishore da comfort me. For me, his songs are the innumerable oases I come across in my journey.

You may have already met this song I am going to introduce you to. But this is the latest of the oases that I've come across, which spawned this post. And to tell you the truth, this song is on repeat on my system. Just hear it out for yourself to find out how good it is.

I'm the kind of person who, once he finds it interesting, will keep on playing the same song over and over again. I look for the various instruments, the lyrics, the voice, the effects in the song. I then play the song till the thing which excited me in the first place becomes monotonous. It is in these dire situations that I find Kishore da's songs comforting.

But the time when I really enjoy to hearing his songs are the moments just before I sleep. I like to keep a playlist of his soft songs on repeat in my mobile, and just drift off into the dreamland. And his songs always lull me to sleep. Maybe that's cos I had them as my lullabies when I was born. Thank you  acha* for that.

*acha is father in Malayalam.

5 things I learned this week (Part 13)

What do you say when someone asks you “How’s your ass?”

I know that it is not a typical question to be included in the “English for Dummies” book. From last week’s blog, you might have come to know about my predicament, and hence, the need for me to find an apt answer for the above mentioned question. When you get asked the same question, repeatedly and from a small group of people, you would undeniably feel the need to spice up the reply.

But by the time I came up with a kick ass reply, people stopped asking me the question. I don’t know if they suddenly sprouted psychic antennas on their heads to know of my premeditated reply, but once I made up my mind to answer  the said question with “Not as good as yours.”, no one, and I repeat, no one asked me how my behind is.

Moving on to more important matters and milestones, in less than 50 hours of the official publishing of this blog, I’ll be reaching the third anniversary of the birth of my career. Three years of trying to find my feet in this big world. Three years of optimizing the way to optimize your work. Three years of waiting for increments and grading, only to reassure oneself that it’ll be better next year. Three years of successfully avoiding the thought of higher studies. Three years of convincing oneself to not resign from the job.

Why you may ask? My idea of my career was always centered in and around my beautiful city of Trivandrum. This was so that I could be lost in the surroundings that I feel reflect my inner mind - the serenity, the “laidbackness”, the inertia to change, the weather, the hartals, and from what I heard, a whole week given as holiday by the Government so that everyone can sit at home and enjoy the torrential rains this monsoon.

How I wish I was back in my room at my home. With the rain tapping on my window, some bouncing off the metal sheets over the parking lot, and with thunder flashing across the sky. That would be heaven.

But here I am, on a Friday evening, sitting at my desk in office at 8pm, compensating for the short leaves that I took this month. I got overtime tomorrow for some work. I don’t go home for another two months. There is not even an inkling of rain here, even though there seems to an unrespectable amount of it in all the neighboring states.

As I reflect on what I deem to be a cruel trick on me by my fate; which professed to me a successful, fulfilling job, when I allowed it to uproot me from my comfort zone, and plant me here; I think of the next batch of freshers joining here on Monday. And keeping in mind the feedback that I’ve received regarding my Interview tips blog, I’m going to do a “Tips for Fresher “ themed post here so that my experiences can be of some use to them.

So, let’s begin, shall we?

Did you know…

1.  …that you should be humble enough to do any work, no matter how trivial or menial, that comes your way?

“Go take that printout I just gave. (cos I can’t be arsed out of my seat)”

“Stamp these files.”

“Go and see if so-and-so is there at his seat. (cos I don’t know his extension number)”

“Count the number of pages in this set of printouts. (cos I think you are sitting idle)”

“Do this (meaningless) data entry work (that I’m too lazy to do).”

You’ll be hearing a lot of these and more. I’ve seen enough “I’m an Engineer now” egos stop the said person from undertaking these tasks. And I get their point. Fresh out of a reputed college with a B.Tech degree, you are thinking of being the next big thing in the field, working with the brightest minds on the latest technology. But, you have to understand that before assigning you to such work, those higher up in the hierarchy should be confident of your abilities to do the same. The seriousness and accuracy in the way you react to menial tasks will be used to extrapolate your performance in more serious matters.

So, please, for your own good, don’t say that “I’m too good to be doing this.”- at least the first few times.

2. …that you are better off not showing a genuine enthusiasm to the trivial or menial works?

If you follow my advice from above, blindly and indefinitely, you’ll sure enough be arriving at this one by yourself. From experience, I can tell you that any form of enthusiasm in doing the “other” work is considered as being selected as the default candidate to that work – forever. So, when you say a reluctant “Yes” to doing the “other” work, do make sure that you moan about it, so that the person giving you the work will be less inclined to do give you the same latter.

3. …that you should keep your ears open at all times?

This is not so that you can get the latest rumor scoop, even though doing this helps a lot in doing that. ;)

This advice from me is to make sure that you don’t miss the little stuff. I believe that information – of any kind, coming from any source – is valuable. So, keep your ears open and listen at all times, no matter who is talking. Let it be your CEO explaining to you how to run the company. Let it be the office boy telling you how to cure the “paper stuck” disease of printers. It always helps to have a patient ear.

4. …that hard work and dedication may not always be rewarding?

Again, this is another thing you should really be learning through experience, first hand. I’m not saying that showing these two qualities is going to always unfruitful. But remember that you got only 24 hours a day. If experience shows that something is unrewarding, irrespective of your attitude towards it, you are better off employing your hours elsewhere.

5. …that the client is God, even though they act more like Adolf Hitler?

The less I say about this, the better are my prospects of keeping this job. But you get the idea, right. ;)

And with that let me take your leave so that I can join in the banter taking place in the next row.

Oh!! And one more thing. No matter how much you hate coming back here on a Monday morning, at the end of the month, you will always love to hear the virtual ringing of cash falling in your bank account. :D ;)

So, that’s all folks!!!

Have a great weekend!!!

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....and we got 2000 HITS here...
Thank you. Yes, you. I'm talking about you only. You are the reason I churn out my mind into readable bits every weekend. After the untimely death of my football playing days, this blog post has become the reason for me to look forward to the weekend. Your responses and your comments make my work better. A few of you were kind enough to enquire about when the next post is coming - which eggs me on to keep writing. But most of all, just knowing that you read this makes me feel better.

So, thank you my dear friend.
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Identity Crisis

Suppose you are standing in the cafeteria in your office. Now, suppose someone spilled some coffee on you. How you react to this will depend on a multitude of factors:

• How much coffee was spilled;
• whether the person meant to spill it on you deliberately or was it a genuine mistake;
• who is this said person – male or female; friend, acquaintance or stranger; boss, co worker or junior;
• what your prior mood was – excited, dull or angry;
• how that person responds to this situation – is he apologizing, or playing it cool, or just walking away; etc

What happened till now was not in your hands. Well, sort of. If you had stood 1 foot to your right, or if you had come 5 seconds later, or if you were on a fast that day, then this wouldn’t have happened. But those factors are way out of your league to control.

But what happens next is in your hands. You can accept an apology; you can say “It’s all right” and go on with your life; you can show a constipated feeling on your face and snort at the apologies he’s making; you can go all “Gaali Baaz” and start abusing your antagonist’s family; you can lift the coffee machine with you right hand and the guy on the left, and start banging them together till he is drenched in coffee (remember that you are still imagining this scenario and hence anything is possible :P ).

Now let’s do a recap on our glorious history as a country. We have had kings like Buddha, who gave up everything he had – all the riches, all the glories and material festivities – to start living the life of a monk, a saint – living on alms, sleeping on rags and practicing penance. We have also had kings like Ashoka, who utilized everything available to him to expand his empire, till he could see blood no more.

Let’s move on to a more recent example. We have had people fighting the colonists for our freedom (which we now gladly misuse). The father of our nation was an exemplary pacifist, requesting us to show our other cheek if someone slaps us on one. Then there is Shaheed Bhagat Singh, an influential revolutionary, who was, to put it mildly, not entirely opposed to the idea of using force to get things done.

If we look at the effect the two people in the two eras have had on our history – Buddha and Ashoka ultimately led the society to unite and leave in peace (in their own ways), Mahatma Gandhi and Bhagat Singh were heavily instrumental in their own manner to help us gain our independence.

So, if we assume history repeats itself, let me ask you, based on the examples above, where the end result is the same irrespective of the path chosen, how would you like to live your life??

At one end of a spectrum, or at the other end?

Or would you like to be somewhere in between?

I know where I would be.....