Saturday, May 18, 2013

5 things I learned this week (Part 7)

Apparently, I come off as a shy and/or introvert to the general public, but, in the confines of close friends, I let loose my “other” side, exhibiting little of those two qualities. This must be the most common unique thing in the world, because I’ve seen many of my friends doing the same. I was rankling the one who made this comment about me, when I was presented with the next observation.

The person in question happened to note that I show a completely different attitude here, in my blog – with the specialty being that the attitude differs from post to post. I might be telling a story in one – contorting the happenings in real life to make sure that original characters are not identified; or I might appoint you as my psychiatrist and give you in depth details about what is going on in my head; or I might be disillusioned to such an extent, that I ramble on here like this, expecting you to be still reading this line, when you must have already jumped on to the next paragraph, checking if there is something non-nonsensical there.

I still haven’t decided whether to take that remark as a compliment or as a complaint. The thing is there is a grey area in between them, and I strongly believe that if you were to ever visit that place, you would meet my blog there – lounging in the sun, sipping some lemonade under the shade of an oversized umbrella.

And talking about grey areas, I’m definitely in one right now. It’s 2pm on the Thursday of this week. I’m sitting at office, with a bunch of documents spread about me, typing this blog out. Now, don’t think that the grey area I mentioned to be the one questioning whether I should be sitting here writing out a blog during office hours. I’ve been doing this for weeks for it to put any weight on my conscience. I’m talking about the dilemma I’m facing right now in terms of what to write.

I’m going home in less than 30 hours – home as in Trivandrum. I’ve already got the theme for next week’s post, which will be some interesting facts about the city I grew up in. But since I’m already in a semi-vacation mood, I can’t seem to find anything to write about.

No themes. No random thoughts. No subtle differences in words that seem alike. No nothing.

And it is not just the blog that I’m unable to concentrate upon. I’ve work to be completed before I can go home. I’ve to make sure that the flat that I live in is restored to a universally accepted habitable state. I’ve to pack my stuff. I got to make sure that we don’t walk into the wedding of two of our batch mates next Saturday empty handed.

There’s a lot to do, and all I’m thinking of is going home, and lazing around like in the good old times. And the notion of achieving complete laziness in 30 hours is making me nauseate at the thought of doing work.

Okay. Enough with the rant. Thank you for hearing me out doc. I feel much better already. You are the best. ;) :D

Let’s start today’s show.

Did you know…

1. …that Air India has reduced the maximum allowable limit for baggage weight from 25kg to 15kg?

As if this wasn’t enough, they are charging Rs.250 extra for every kg more than 15.

2. ...that “Men are the only male mammals fascinated by breasts in a sexual context”?

This one is a scientifically proven fact which was stumbled upon by your truly while researching saintly on the subject of “Why men like breasts?” The research itself was spawned by a discussion in office on the same question, and one interesting , scientific explanation on the same is given at the following link, with them stating that

“…our fascination with your breasts, far from being creepy, is an unconscious evolutionary drive prompting us to activate powerful bonding circuits that help create a loving, nurturing bond.”


Men. You can now ogle all you want. You are just 'looking' for a deep relationship. ;) :P

3. … that the original Coco-cola had cocaine in it?

And you wondered why they call it “Coke”. When the drink was initially sold, it used to contain, what now officials at the company claim to be, “trivial” amounts of cocaine. But since it was in the 1890s, cocaine was legal in USA, and coco-cola was just one of the many beverages being sold at that time having cocaine in it. Once the ban on drugs was instated, the ingredient was removed from the drink.


4. … that a person can still fart after death?

And that the average person farts 14 times a day. More fun fart facts can be read and enjoyed at


5. …that over the first 15 days of the month, I’ve set aside Rs.2653 for my donation drive?

If you would remember the blog from two weeks before, I had decided to not eat any fast food for this month, and instead give the money so collected as a donation to some worthwhile cause, which were highlighted in that blog.


The figure explains quite a lot about where my salary goes.

Fast Food. (-_-)

Oh!! and T shirts.
I counted them and found that I bought 27 T shirts in the past 2 years. :D

Well, that’s all folks for this week. Wish me a fun vacation!!
Hope you have a great weekend too!!!

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Thank GOD for Amnesia!!!

Of the four seasons that GOD has destined for us to enjoy, I absolutely, most definitely and with full conviction hate the season of summer.

I hate it so much that if summer where a person, I would be inclined to put into practice my long term plan of shooting it - point blank, twice and at the heart - and then cutting off its head, just to make sure that it is dead.

Now, you might be thinking what in the whole wide world has summer done to me, to make a normally forgiving, non-violent person as myself, to execute it  in such a gruesome manner? (even though, only in my dreams).

It’s not the unbearable heat when you are outdoors, or the oven style baking when you are indoors. It’s not the hot winds burning your skins, or the mini-sandstorms that come with it. It’s not even because I have had to wake up in the middle of the night, from a pool of my own sweat, so that I can pour some naturally boiled water down my parched throat. No, it’s not any of these that make me hate summer. 

It’s the goodbyes that I’ve had to say during summers for the past few years.

I know that this might sound as logical as driving your car with the handbrake on. The adieu’s that I’ve had to say had come because of various other reasons, things that I could never control. And it’s entirely plausible that these partings could have happened at any other point in time, in some other season perhaps. But as fate would have it, they happened, and they happened, one after the other, over four consecutive summers.

You see, I was supposed to hate summer. It’s my destiny.

In the summer of 2010, I had to say goodbye to everything I believed was constant. Please don't fault me for thinking so. Since I was a child, I always liked to believe that my home, my family, my parents, my brother, my friends, my city would all be my own forever, and I’ll be able to be with them forever too. Even though, I knew that I would have to shift 3000km to the north when I accepted the job at GS, getting on to that train on the morning of 26th June, 2010 was like a rude awakening from a pleasant dream.

In a span of 3 days, my life had all changed. For the first time in 21 years, I was to spend more than a week away from home. I wouldn’t have my father near to listen to, I wouldn’t have my mother near to talk to; I wouldn’t have my brother near to fight with. All of my friends were placed elsewhere. It was me and this brand new, unforgiving city. Thank you, summer of 2010. :-/

And that’s when I made two new friends in Anupam and Alok. The trio of us was newly employed at the same company, had no intent to save money, and had lots of free time. That was seemingly the secret ingredients you needed to make my stay here better.

What followed were lots of late night outings in the city, trips to Delhi, and just hanging out at our favorite mall, the MGF Metropolitian (which we affectionately called  “tharavadu*”) . Even though people always say to me that booze is a must for any hangout, this spell of friendship affirmed my opinion that it ain’t so.

And then came the summer of 2011. After a bout of diseases, and appalled by the overall uncleanness of the city and its people, Anupam decided to leave to his dream destination of Singapore. He got admission to the National University of Singapore, and bid goodbye to us at the end of May 2011.

His absence was offset by the arrival of seven malayali juniors (you can call us mallus, but we prefer to call ourselves malayli). And that was supplemented by a few more malayali seniors, in an apparent move by our company to make me happier. And then came a different spell of life - one which involved less money, but more time. We were a huge group, we didn’t go out much, but we sat at home and had a great time. I don’t know how to describe it, but it felt like I was in college again.

If my life was a drama, and if that drama had a script, then at that point of time, it would read – “Enter Stage Left. Summer of 2012”.

I don't know how many goodbyes I had to say over 2012. As one person went for a new job in a new city, another changed to a different company in the same sity. Then there was the one which went off for higher studies. And it all culminated with my bother of a brother also leaving our home at Trivandrum, moving to Mangalore to pursue his B.Tech degree at the NIT there. All in all, this summer sucked too.

Noticing a trend that the people I held close were being moved away from me by an unseen hand, I unconsciously decided to concentrate more on passions than people. Playing football, following developments in football and playing FIFA became my mainstay during this next spell. I was sure that the summer wouldn't be able to pull one on me anymore.

But it happened again. By the time the summer of 2013 rolled in, the only other guy with the same passion as me in playing FIFA has moved away, and so has the other guy who shared with me the urge to play football every weekend.

Now, this would seem like a victory to the summer over me. But in true Mortal Kombat style, it decided to give me a Knock Out Blow just to make sure. This summer has taken from me the one constant I've had here in the past three years. I've always said that he was the older brother I never wanted, but still, if you want me to make it look like the Batman dialogue - "He is not the brother you want; he is the brother you need."

When I come back from my vacation on May 27th, I'll have a new Gurgaon to encounter. I'll have to make new friends, renew some old friendships and find ways to make myself drag me over the line in this race of life. It is because of these changes that I've to make on myself that I hate the summer.

After I've forced myself to change, I'll have to confront the reminders of good old times. Whenever I walk into MGF and hear that Black Eyed Peas song on the loop; whenever I see the infamous Lee Cooper Tshirt; whenever I feel like doing something stupid; whenever I feel like saying FUAH to someone; when I try to teach someone else the language of LLUMA; whenever I try yo make someone notice the chick near us by telling what o'clock she is to him; I'm gonna be reminded.

But let me tell you now itself. This stage of my life will pass. Because it has happened before. Because it will happen again. If we draw an analogy, when a loved dies, the tears shed for them a year later will less than 1% of what was shed in the immediate aftermath. It is basic human behaviour. It is something which helps us to move along in life. We continue with our life, although slightly skewed from before. And it is because of the gift of obliterating memories. In layman terms, that would meant the act of forgetting.

And it's not that we forget the person or the memories. We tend to remember them less. It doesn't make them any less of an influence on your life past. But it makes sure that they are not a negative influence on your future life.

So, anna*, as the time to bid goodbye dawns near, let me thank you for being there for me. And I hope I can have pleasure of having chawal, dal and roti at your wedding as soon as possible.. :P

But till then, I'll be here, carrying on with my life, thanking GOD for gifting man the power of selective amnesia.

* tharavadu – ancestral home
* anna - brother

Friday, May 10, 2013

5 things I learned this week (Part 6)


This won’t take long. I was far too preoccupied, with making the itinerary of shifting houses, planning how my life here will be after my best friend leaves this town in another 3 days and trying not to go all nostalgic, that I forgot about this post.

Nostalgia is a phenomenon, something if not for which, people like me would have nothing to write about. The recollection of memories seems to make words and sentences materialize within us. Sometimes, these memories make more than an impression of words. This week I’m going to write about 5 memories that have instilled in me a few habits, some of which I would be happy if you also made a habit of.

So, let's begin, shall we.

Did you know…

1. …that you shouldn’t touch the idol or the structure that houses the idol at a temple?

This piece of information comes from my uncle. He passed on this habit to me some 7-8 years ago. The reasoning behind this is that the GOD is in meditation, and if we defer into his area of meditation, he won’t be too pleased about it.

2. …that no matter what you are feeling – happy, sad, angry or dull – you should always walk proud?

As a 15 year old walking home from the bus stop after school, you are entitled to will away your time in the trivial. I was doing likewise one day back in 2004. An old man was whitewashing this fence outside the mosque near our place. I just stood 5 feet behind him, and watched him mix the stuff. Feeling my prying eyes, he turned around. I was gearing up for him to confront me, but he smiled at me, and gave me an advice which I’ve tried to follow always.

“What is you height? 6 foot? Then, why are you stooping. Stand tall always. No matter what you are doing, puff your chest out and hold your head high.”

3. …that even if you are going to sleep, you should just freshen up and groom yourself?

There’s a saying from where I come from.

“Chathu kidannallum chamanju kidakkannam”

For those of you who don’t know Malayalam, it means “Look good even if you are lying dead.” And one of my older cousins actually took this saying a little too much to his heart. He was staying over at our place some 6 years back, and we were about to go to sleep after a lot of banter. While the rest of us retired to our beds, I saw him freshen up, go in front of the mirror, and then started combing his hair. I asked him why he did that. He gave me this saying in reply and this advice  for a habit.

4. …that there’s a trick to look like you know something about the quality of vegetables & fruits, when you’re buying them?

This piece of valuable information comes from a person us gurgaon-ites call “The Tank”. How he got that name is worthy enough to be a separate blogpost by itself. But more than that incident, it was this dialogue from him that has etched itself into my memory and catalogue of habits.

“There is a very simple trick if you want to look knowledgeable while buying fruits or vegetables. Ask the shopkeeper to give you say, 1 kg of tomatoes. As soon as he puts 4-5 tomatoes in the basket, ask him to stop in an animated manner. Then take 2 tomatoes from the set he has picked out and make it look like you are searching it for defects. After that, say that these tomatoes are bad, and ask him to put them back, completely ignoring his protests. And TADA!! You’ve become a Veggie genius in the eyes of those around you. It’s that simple.”

5. ...that you should always make sure that you are not the last one to reply, when you are in a virtual conversation with a girl?

This tidy bit of advice comes from my friend, Chaithin. He was never able to give me a thoroughly convincing explanation, but he was pretty damn sure of its validity from his experiences. He always encouraged me from not pushing the “Send” button, saying that it will be a vain attempt to prolong a conversation.

But, for better or for worse, this isn’t one habit I follow. I have my own rule regarding this, and that is that I should send the last message. I’ve even termed it as a disorder – lmop – last message-o-philia. ;)

---

And before I end this post, a HUGE shout out to the single most influential person I’ve had in the past three years.

Mr.Alok Nido. I wish you all the best in your forthcoming endeavors as an Engineer at Mangalore Refineries. You have been to me the big brother I never wanted, and the irritating friend I could have lived without. Thank you for all your advices that have back fired on me.

But most importantly, thank you for not killing me, in spite of all the troubles I’ve caused you.

And if you think that this is my BIG FAREWELL POST to you, you’re mistaken, it’s coming soon. :P

---

That’s it for today.

Have a great weekend people!!!

Friday, May 3, 2013

5 things I learned this week (Part 5)

I've been accused, IN PUBLIC, for being something everyone is.

Selfish.

I know that it is not technically a crime, but it's still looked down upon by society as a part of its moral ethic. This is all, with utter disregard to the fact that selfishness exists in every part and act in the society - from when the North Korean Supreme Commander decides to go drop some bombs on the other side of the wall to when I decide to write something unselfish in my blog for a change.

I'm going to take up the baton of unselfishness and sacrifice, from two young men, who came to my house last sunday morning. They were trying to raise funds for HelpAge India for providing financial support to widows in the dry months of this years summer.

We are a lot who earn quite a handful these days. But I won't ask you to put your money just like that. I've realised from my facebook sojourn that the value of something increases, if you are aware that you could have done something else with it. I know you didn't understand that. So, let me put it into action.

I'm going to donate some amount of money to a charity at the end of this month. And that amount will be the sum of all the junk food I WON'T EAT this month. This includes Dominoes, MCD's, KFC, Pizza Hut and all. It's been just two days into this month, and I already have 194 rupees set aside for this fund from a pizza that I didnt order.

So, on May 31st, when I finally deposit the amount, I'll know that I'm not giving cos I've got the money to spare, but because I sacrificed a little bit of my happiness so that I can help someone.

So finally, let me finish with this loooooooooooong prologue, and get on with the business. If you haven't guessed by now, this week's post will be themed on charity - on how you can donate to honourable causes online - from your laptop, from your phone - no matter where you are currently placing your lazy ass on. :P

Did you know...

1. ...that you can donate online to HelpAge India?

Unless you find a way to get yourself killed before you hit senility, you are gonna grow old. And you can't be sure that you'll be in a good place then. So, get some good karma on your side, and donate to help the aged population in India by donating online at

http://www.helpageindia.org/donate.html


2. ...that you can donate online to UNICEF?

I bet you don't remember the expansion of UNICEF. :P
It is United Nation International Child Emergency Fund. (I only got Emergency wrong)
Well, they allow you to contribute to them online at



3. ...that you can donate online to Wikipedia?

We all know what we'll say when our kids ask us to help them with their homework. "Look in Wikipedia"
Why not? That is exactly what we are doing now, whether it is to know what the Large Hadron Collider is looking for, or whether Charlie Sheen actually married a porn star. And since, wiki hasn't sold off its soul to advertisements (YET), they need us to support them so that they can continue to serve us. Donate whatever you can at 


4. ...that you can donate online to CRY?

It's not like there should be another reason to cry for us, the spoilt children of the new generation, but this is not about giving your money away and letting your tear ducts show their capacity to pump water.
CRY is actually Child Rights and You is one among the many organizations fighting for the rights of children everywhere, and you can support them by donating online at

http://www.cry.org/apps/donation.aspx

5. ...that you can donate online to many charitable causes on giveindia.org?

Among all the online charity donation websites that I went through for this blog, giveindia.org is perhaps what I'll describe as the most unique. It sort of works as middle man between supply and demand. Demand, as in sponsoring a slum child's education for a year, or providing monthly rations for a poor family, or rehabilitating a widow. Supply, as in providing a platform for souls like us to part with our surplus money, so that the demand is met. You can choose the cause and donate at will at

http://www.giveindia.org/

That wraps up the 5 things for this week. But before I go, let me leave you with a thought I hold dear to my heart.

"The happiness of giving is multiplied in knowing that somebody is receiving what you sacrificed."

That's all folks..
Happy Weekend!!!

Friday, April 26, 2013

5 things I learned this week (Part 4)

Another week cruises by, and we are here again, as I recount to you 5 things I learned this week. This is sadly not going to be themed like last week, but like the earlier hotch-potch versions. So, let's begin in earnest, shall we??

Did you know...

1. ...that interest rates on loaned money in developed nations is less than 5 percent??

I found the following explanation and found it to be satisfactory. Tell me what you think about it.

"India is a developing economy which requires more funds for the investment purposes, so Government looks at more savings by Public. When more interest rate is offered by the RBI to Commercial banks and Commercial banks to Public, then Public will be interested to deposit their money in the banks and hence more savings. When banks offer higher interest rate for the deposits by the public(say 9%), then the same banks lend money(loans) to the people at higher interest rate (say 10% to 12%, comparatively more than interest on deposits). The same is even applcable to the developed economies. But, those countries are having enough funds so they'll not pay more interest on the deposits like in India. And in contrast they'll not charge more interest on the loans also like in India."

2. ...that Gurgaon without malls is like life without maals?

You can't find a decent apartment in Gurgaon without searching for months. You won't find the normal city restaurants in Gurgaon. You can't have electricity and water at all times in Gurgaon. But drop a coin, let it roll, follow it, and there is more chance of you arriving at the entrance to a mall than not.

All jokes aside, Gurgaon has malls - a lot of them. The MG Road here has some 10-15 malls on both sides of the road in a 2 km stretch, a few of them only finished partly. But when my parents told me that Kerala's Cochin had the largest mall in India, I had to accept defeat.

3. ...that the "MG" in MG road in Gurgaon is not for Mahatma Gandhi?

Indeed not. MG road in Gurgaon is the road that connects Mehrauli in South Delhi to Gurgaon city. And the M and G in the road initials stand for the name of the end points of the road, not for the father of the nation, as is the case in other cities.

4. ...that today marks the sixth month since I tore my right ankle ligaments?

Doctors said that it would take 6-12 months to heal completely. I'm still waiting for that to happen. I tore mine while doing a turn on the ball while I was playing football. It might seem complicated, but it actually was me stopping the ball with my right foot, and trying to turn a 180 degree. I heard 2 "tick tick" sounds, and fell down in a heap of pain. Bad things happen to you just like that. But the eternal optimist in me wants to believe that the Grade II ankle sprain, and the 2 weeks of enforced rest, saved me from some bigger trouble.

P.S. I started playing football again, 3 months after this injury.

5. ...that today is also the that shall be know as the day my designation reached the level of my qualification?

If you didn't know, I'm an Engineer by qualification. And today, after nearly 2 years and 10 months after qualifying as an Engineer, I got my second promotion at work which made me, from Assistant Engineer, an Engineer.

If you fancy another read, yesterday I wrote about what's there in my wallet, which you can read at 
http://husemeplz.blogspot.in/2013/04/whats-in-your-wallet.html

That's all from me for today.
Have a great weekend.