Keeping the Change (5 things - Week 111)

Prologue:

Last post in this series was on 27-06-2015. That was almost weekly for more than two years. This one will hopefully be published on 01-11-2015. I can't guarantee it now, as I have only just started typing this out. Let's see where this takes us.

***

I can blame my absence here on a lot of things - the faulty keyboard of my laptop, which ignores many of my touches; the fact that I got married and that the responsibilities and the fun have had me distracted enough to be in a different world altogether; the closer to truth reason would be the 6 days a week of working in a service sector; or a combination of one and all.

What I used to write about were things which amused me, which surprised me - which would eventually make me think about how I would describe it - the thing or the experience - to another person. Lately, even though I still do get my fair share of amusement and surprises, the time I require to think - I prefer calling the process 'idea rumination' - has been missing. This past week or so, I carved out time from doing other stuff to do the 'idea rumination'. And the result is now before you.

***

1. When would you feel proud and happy on seeing a bill of Rs.1562/-??

I found out when I would last week. The venue was the nearby supermarket and the occasion was the monthly grocery purchase. Till I was 10 or so, I used to accompany my parents for our monthly grocery purchase. Once it became hard to fit me, my brother, our parents and the ration into one two wheeler, I was the one who had to make way. And from that day, I wanted to do my own shopping.

And on the said day, as I watched the cashier take my ATM card for making the payment, I realized that I was doing my own shopping. Being part of the spoon fed generation, it takes moments like these for one to realize that he/she has grown up to what he/she always wanted to be - a grown up.

2. A lot can be said by the way you spend 100 rupees.

There was a time, some 4 years back, when I would walk to the store near our flat in Gurgaon. Then I would purchase, one packet Lays, one packet Haldirams Masala Peanuts, one Dairy Milk and one bottle of Coco Cola - all amounting to a hundred rupees. And these would be accompaniments with which I would sit down to watch the weekend football action.

Yesterday, I brought 5kg of orange for a hundred rupees. How time changes a man.

3. Wholesale or Retail

Continuing with the oranges story, it was written at the shop that Rs.100 could buy you 5 kg of Orange. So, I gave him 60 rupees and asked him to give me just 3kgs. He asked for Rs.15 more. He then went on to give me the existing rates at the shop, both retail and wholesale.

1kg - Rs.30

2kg - Rs.50

3kg - Rs.75

5kg - Rs.100

Interestingly, he refused to sell 4kg of orange. He must have some serious beef with the number 4.

4. Of Biriyanis, Momos, Shawarmas and ChiPoCus.

First of all, let me apply for a bail - I am not a foodie in any sense of it. So, my perception of food and its taste might not agree with the general opinion.

a. First up is Biriyanis. No biriyani like Hyderabadi Biriyani, and no place to have a biriyani like Hyderabad. Other than the usual goto places like Paradise, we also visited one restaurant called Dine Hill at Banjara Hills. Whatever you order will be provided in one big plate and everyone has to eat from it. They said it's the custom of the Mughals. Not recommended if you are a hygiene freak.

b. Momos occupy a soft spot in my tummy. In Gurgaon, we used to visit the local momo shop after a day's work, and would have a plate having 10 Momos, and an egg roll for 50 bucks. Here in Kochi, 5 Momos costs you a hundred bucks without the taste or appeal. Well, that was the case until we found BIG FAT MOMOS. They serve you a 10 piece delicious Momo dish with delicious accompaniments for Rs.90. And the service is endearing.

c. Shawarmas were the rage in Thiruvananthapuram, until one innocent man fell prey to cheap tactics used by some restaurant. They had used spoiled meat pieces, the person got food poisoning, he was traveling - and a host of other factors combined to result in death. The immediate effect was a total informal ban on Shawarmas in the city. After about 3 years, they are slowly making their way back in the city. And in Kochi, we have found SLICE OF SPICE, who make one of the best plate shawarmas in town - it's both delicious and filling.

d. Now, ChiPoCu is not a well known dish. That's because it was invented by my wifey to sate my peculiar taste preferences. ChiPoCu is Chilly Potato Cubes. Even though the concept and execution is simple, I am yet to find anything as tasty as that.

5. Opinions

Talking of my opinions, I wrote this piece on May 16th, 2014 - soon after the national election results were declared. I had mentioned in the post that the new government has a set of problems that it has to tackle, and a section of the society that it has to convince. 534 days later, earlier today, I took a second read of the same, and have drawn up my own verdict. I would like to know yours.

***

With the declaration of 2nd and 4th Saturday as holidays for bank, my argument that I don't have a 5 day week like before has lost half of it's credibility. And I don't know if this piece is the restart, or just another blip on the cardiometer for the observers to realize that this blog hasn't given up it's ghost yet. We'll find out in the coming weeks. 

***

So, that's all for this week then.

Have a great weekend!!

'til next week.

The Special One

The following was part of a real conversation between a husband and wife.

Husband :

"You know what?? If we were a normal couples, the other person would make the birthday celebrating person feel special on that day. Let's start a new trend. The birthday celebrating person will make the other person feel special."

Wife :

"Okay"

Husband :

"This is a big change. So we'll phase it in. We'll try this for the first half of the year and revert back for the second half."

Wife :

"Okay. But my birthday is in August and and yours is in December - both in the second half. How's this plan going to work then?"

Husband  :

"Who said anything about calendar years woman? I'm a Banker now. Everything's based on financial years."

***

Let me just confirm that this conversation took place between a husband and his very own wife. And even though the wife was cutting vegetables, the husband escaped unscarred - well mostly unscarred.

***

It's things like these that make me realize that we are special - not the royalty kind of special, the mentally challenged kind of special.

I often wonder at our ability to be at the same level of maturity, no matter what is being discussed - what to have for breakfast, or whether we'll love each other the same 50 years from now, or what should be the maximum number of farts a spouse can be exposed to in a day. Remember, I said same level of maturity, not high.

She celebrates her birthday tomorrow. And I've been repeatedly goofing up my plans for the day. All the gifts I could think of buying for her are unavailable, non financable, or inappropriate. Tried to buy a Shuffle for her, the Apple store were out of stock. A vehicular purchase is putting a credit crunch on the acquisition of glittering items. And don't get me started on the inappropriate plans.

So what do I have planned for tonight?? I won't divulge it here for sure. Maybe she will be moved to write something about how - ummm.. for the want of a better word - "happening" her birthday was this time around.

Talking about writing over here, I haven't written anything for the better part of two months now. And it just wasn't the lack of time or content this time. It was the lack of need. When I started blogging continuously two years ago, my friends always remarked that my BLOGGER personality was very different from my real personality. And since I always felt like releasing some sort of pent up feelings on these virtual pages, I knew they were right. I was being who I really was here.

Now, I need not do that. As the lyrics of one of my favorite song goes,

You're the only one I'm dreaming of
You see, I can be myself now finally
In fact there's nothing I can't be
I want the world to see you'll be with me

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMMUTTI !!!

For BETTER or for WORSE (5 things - Week 110)

As was said unspoken on 21st of March, 2014...

I, Harisankar S A, take you, Sreerenjini Menon, to be my lawfully wedded(husband/wife), to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.

***

1.

I guess the reason why people say/think/write something similar during their wedding is for moments like these. She has been down with viral fever since yesterday. And while taking care of her, I have gotten a case of I'm-not-going-to-tell-you-what-I-got. For worse, huh?? She is unsure about me being sick though - at most, she's ready to give it a label of sympathetic, I call it symbiotic.

And so here we are. Us, the bed-ridden couple, watching our significantly important weekend plans get postponed by a combination of disease, and disease combating medical drugs.

The weekend plans were pretty straight forward - grab most of what we can from here and shift ourselves to Kochi - the business capital of Kerala. Yup, that's right - yours truly is shifting his base for the near future to Cochin. The city of Ernakulam is going to be blessed with a consistent footfall of me. 

That's three names for the same city, and I was thinking Thiruvananthapuram and Trivandrum is driving me crazy.

2. 

In case you want a game to get addicted to, I would recommend the 1010!. You can get it downloaded for your android phone here. 

The rules are like tetris, but instead of lego blocks falling down from the sky for you to arrange and pack off, you are given pieces three each every turn to fill out a 10 x 10 area till you can't fix the next piece in there. I hope you didn't understand that, because I sure didn't. But it's addicting I tell you.

3.

Have I told you the story about how I got so tall?? That's because I used to hang for long from a swing bar that was there in my cousin's house. True story.

Have I told you the story about why I stand straight almost always - after a really old painter, who was painting my neighbour's wall called me over when I was coming back from school, and advised me to stand tall always - so that I could show the world that I'm confident?? Well, that was the story.

4.

Have you looked for signs?? I have. When I unsure about doing something, I always look for signs. For example, there's this 'Naagar' [serpent king] idol kept for worship in our temple. I used to circumambulate the said idol (walk in a circle around a temple, idol, etc. in the clockwise direction). But then, I overheard someone saying that doing so is not good. But I just couldn't stop a habit. So, I decided that I would wait for a sign.

The very next [early] morning, we had an early train to catch - so we went to the temple around 5.30. And as I was to go around the idol, she asked me not to. Of course, she was saying that because doing that before sunrise isn't as per scripture, but that was a sign good enough for me.

5.

Have you looked for signs?? Well, I'm sick and tired and fed up and nauseous. I don't know whether it is an inconsequential burp or a at my mouth, and I don't even want to think about what's happening at the other end. That's as good as a sign to let me know that I should be resting. Hence,  I'm stopping.

And here's a sign to help you evacuate the premises.

Thank you for visiting.

***

So, that's all for this week then.

Have a great weekend!!

'til next week.

LUCKY ME (5 things - Week 109)

I guess there is no continuing the recent past trend of holding our conversations in this fortnightly, story telling format for the present future.

***

1. THE BULL'S EYE

Bull's eye is a pretty simple concept - how accurately can you hit a target. And I'm about to tell you how good of a, um sharp shooter I am. But the kind of target hitting I intend to pursue doesn't include shooting any ballistic projectiles. It has more to do with hitting a car with a bike.

Suppose you are coming along a highway like road at 60kmph - not too fast, but not too slow either. You see an Innova taking a U turn from the opposite side, coming on to your road. As is the case of many such on road interactions, a split second communication takes place between the two drivers - a dialogue which mostly doesn't use words. The message from the opposite driver is deciphered by how he sets the path for his vehicle.

In this case, the Innova driver showed intend to do a U turn, and you made it clear that you are going to move forward, keeping the same speed. At this moment, the car in front of you decides to slow down and stop right at the intersection. And the Innova guy decides to take a full right turn instead of the U. What happens it that the road in front of you is completely blocked - to the left by the stopped car, to the right by the waylaying Innova.

What do you do??

Let me help you. You proceed on your path, altering just enough to make sure that you hit the middle of the front wheel of the perpendicularly laying Innova. And let me assure you that it works. You'll shaken to your core, but the only actual damage will be to your bike. I would have had a very different story to tell you if this wasn't possible.

2. THE BULL

We will not be done with the "bull"ish theme to this conversation even after this one. The last story is also a bull story. Let's finish this one first though.

This is a story, of which even though I'm the primary protagonist, the events took place at an age where I was too young to keep them stored in memory for eternity. The tale for this story comes mostly from hearsay, and over the course of time, as in any story based on hearsay, the effects are magnified in each telling. I present my own abridged version here.

I was maybe three years old at that time. I had gone to a temple with some cousins, but decided to go back home on my own. I had to take a route which included a narrow alleyway. As I entered the alleyway from one end, a bull, of yet unknown owner and free of its master's grip, entered at the other end. A clash of horns and baby bones, and a subsequent sorry end, was inevitable for yours truly.

Nobody knows from where, or how or why, but he suddenly appeared, swiped me off the ground and put me on top of the wall, and moved himself into safety afterwards, keeping a hand on me throughout. That superman was my Grandfather.

3. DESTINY'S DESTINATION

When talking about how lucky I'm, I always have to talk about us. In July of 2013, I was employed at Gurgaon, taking home a pretty good paycheck every month, and she was deciding to put off joining for that PG Diploma course for six months. Two years down the road, I'm writing this, and I can't wait to see the smile on her face when she reads this line.

4. LITTLE BIG THINGS

As we are doing a lucky me theme, let me just take this moment to thank from the bottom of my heart, every known-unknown source of my luck, who knowingly/unknowingly chose to bestow upon me their bit of luck, so that it made my life at least a little bit better. And for those of you awaiting your luck, it might already have come to you - you just wouldn't have realized it.

5. THE BULL'S EYE AGAIN

Let me recount my first experience of hitting a bull's eye. I was fresh off driving school, with a shiny new driving license in my pocket. I was on my way somewhere when I happened to hit another bike on it's mudguard. This would be an inconsequential offense these days which would end in a polite sorry from me. But on that day, for my first traffic accident, I chose to do this to a Police unit bike. Talk about hitting the Bull's eye.

***

So, that's all for this week then.

Have a great weekend!!

'til next week.

Blog me, maybe (5 things - Week 108)

Okay. So here is what we are going to do. We are going to pretend to ignore the fact that I haven't been here for the past three weeks. I'm pretty sure that you are bored of my lackadaisical commitments and relinquished responsibilities. On a personal level, I'm tired of making up excuses. Maybe I should change the 'week' in the title to 'part' back and just get on with it.

***

THING ONE

If only the travails of monotony could be charged in the courts of criminal boredom, then only could you bring a man back from insanity. I don't expect you to understand that. I wouldn't write if I wanted you to understand. And if you were able to understand, I'm confident that I wouldn't find you here.

***

THING TWO

I went to the beach today evening. Of course, she came with me - turns out that it is some unwritten law that we have to be together forever and wherever and whatever. Who knew, right?

Well, there were a lot of people at the beach, even though monsoon season started last week. I don't think there is any sanity left in humanity these days. I know there isn't any left in us - cos we fell for a scam of 5 million milli-paise. There was this guy selling kites, and he was flying it pretty fine. My wife sees this, thinks of 'The Kite Runner' book she finished yesterday, and says she wants one. Only problem is she doesn't know how to fly one. And then looks at me and says,

"I'm pretty sure that you know how to."

If you are a man, then you know you are trapped cos of your ego. If you are a woman, you know you can trap a man by his ego like this.

So, I ended up willfully, knowingly, submissively submitting myself to the scam. What helped salvage some pride was the fact that by holding the string at a height equal to my height plus my arm's length, the kite was at a respectable point in air - higher than what other people could achieve, but still casting envious glances at the kite in the hand of the scammer.

***

THING THREE

"So, you think that's conspiracy-ious? Our company's board passed a resolution to the effect that we would get the then Chief Minister to inaugurate our 400th store in the state within the end of the next quarter. This was passed in the penultimate week of the present quarter.

And as is everywhere else - The board passes, the slaves enforces. It was then that we came to know that the CM was free for a slot only in the first month. And as per our original plan, we would reach our 400th stall by the end of the quarter only. This was when my supervisor gave a very valuable piece of advice.

"Whichever store the CM inaugurates, that's our 400th stall."

As you would have guessed by now, the stall which was opened by the CM was numbered 400, and the stall which was opened after that is still carrying the number 381."

***

THING FOUR

So, my phone was finally fixed up this week. Motorola came through for me, and had my new screen delivered in time, and I was able to have my phone back in top notch shape within ten days of lodging my complaint officially. Well, almost top notch. After the screen fix, I noticed that the maximum volume of the speaker was barely audible. I took it to the service center again today.

He said it was not the problem with the speaker, but a software issue. He wanted to format, but I said I'll do it later after backing up my data. So, he put my phone back together let me continue my journey to the beach. After reaching the beach, I tried to unlock my phone. Lo and Behold. The power button was not working. Thanks to a combination of smart display and screen locking app, I'll have no major problems. At least I have a screen to look at. Last week, it wasn't so.

***

THING FIVE

It's Barcelona vs Juventus in the Champions League final which will start soon - under four hours to go as I finish this sentence. I hope it'll be as interesting as it's built up to. I know I don't watch the regular games these two teams partake in, and am looking at this from a premeditated point of view.

But when you consider that the quotes associated with the teams are 'Pass like the Spanish' and 'Defend like the Italians', I'm afraid that it might just be a bore fest. Only one way to find out though.

***

THING ZERO

When the fog finally lifts, the clouds disappear and the sun starts shining again, I know I'll find you right where I left you.

***

So, that's all for this week then.

Have a great weekend!!

'til next week.

A very nice surprise (5 things - Week 107)

I'm confident that you are surprised to see me back here so soon - I just hope that it is a pleasant surprise. I have some time on my hands, and no one/chore is pressing me to spend it on them/it. And since, I've been ignoring you lot a little more than usual for the past few weeks, I thought I would spend it here.

I do this quite a lot for my own liking. For example, I read this Shiva Namajabba board in the temple in front of my home, everyday when I go there. There are 102 slokas, and it takes upto five minutes to finish. If on a particular day I find myself in a hurry, then I would skip it; and then would read it twice the next time I'm there. Compensation is what you might call it; I tend to think of it as giving the due due.

Unfortunately, this doesn't work in all situations. There is no point in reading a particular chapter after the exam is over. There is no point in going for your anniversary dinner, three days after the day you were supposed to. There is no point in talking to a picture frame after the person you want to talk to has left this world.

So, with that deep thought, I am going to start giving the due due here. How about "5 things" which came as an unpleasant surprise, followed by a disturbingly pleasant one??

***

1. The unreserved journey PART I

On May 3rd, we started on a train journey hoping that a general ticket could be converted on board to a better seating arrangement. Unfortunately, the plan fell through disastrously - as was mentioned in the last post. I had to stand suffocated for the whole five hour journey in a coach, which was carrying twice the people it was designed to seat.

2. The unreserved journey PART II

For May 9th, I had booked a ticket to Guruvayoor so that I could attend my friend's wedding the following day. Four hours before the journey, I checked my messages, my email and my IRCTC account to confirm the coach and seats. It was then that I realized that I hadn't actually booked the tickets. Still to keep a promise, we took a bus, stayed at her home overnight, then drove a total of 180km on Sunday to attend the marriage. Somehow, a routine journey was messed to its maximum extent.

3. The SMARTPHONE blackout

Again, as was mentioned in the last post, my phone has gone completely black during the unreserved journey Part II. The touch facility works, so it is still partly useful. You just need to know the area where to press, swipe or touch.

4. The Houseful week

There is this tradition of visiting your relatives house for a feast after you marriage. The idea behind the tradition must be to entertain the new couple as well as to get to know the new member of the family. We had skipped going for that during April because I was regularly late from office. The end result was that the first week of May was packed with these. And as expected, I was shifted on to another job, resulting in the erstwhile kind of homecoming. Still, we stayed strong and completed the whole ordeal.

5. The Speed denial

Late on last Thursday night, we were on our way back home from dinner, when I realized that I had to refill my Avenger. We stopped at a nearby petrol station to find out that they only had more refined, costlier version of the usual stuff. To save around three rupees, I decided to postpone the chore to the next day.

The next day I woke up to the news that the petrol prices have gone up by a little over three rupees.

NOTE - That one petrol pump got an additional profit of three rupees for every litre that they didn't sell on Thursday, by selling it on Friday. They always talk of an unholy axis, and this does nothing to disprove that.

***

In case you are wondering what was the good surprise I had, I won't make you wait any longer. I had gone to buy chicken today morning from the local shop. It was a thing I used to dread - even though I love the thought of putting my teeth into the supple flesh of a deliciously cooked chicken, I have nightmares about going out and buying the same.

It might be the omniscient blood; the grimness prevailing because of the impending death; the chuckles and the cries of the sacrificial fowls which are heard, but unheard; or the blank expressions on the faces of the children on their first visit here - they thought they were on a regular shopping trip.

Anyways, today there were no palpitations, no urge to run out, no vomiting tendency induced due to the blood. I didn't feel anything. To test myself, I pushed myself as close as possible to the guy who was slitting their throats and putting them in the bin. ZILCH.

Maybe the standards have fallen cos of the unfair and unfortunate surprises. Maybe this is a part of growing. Maybe I've finally got "tremendous mental strength" [a Wenger favorite]. But one thing is for sure. I've changed.

***

So, that's all for this week then.

Have a great weekend!!

'til next week.

Cheater cheater!! (5 things - Week 106)

So I was sitting there beside a window today evening, enjoying the heavy rains lashing outside, thinking of how the hell I was going to get back home with the floods on the road which was imminent. It was then that I was finally reminded of you. Yes, you - the faithful followers of this conversation, which has been stalled on by its conversor.

I can't keep blaming this on external factors. I had vowed to keep writing something daily, and for the past two weeks, I basically stood you all up. I can't blame it on work, on new found personal responsibilities, commitments or enjoyments. I need to put my hands up and shoulder the whole, complete, universal responsibility for my digressions. It is on account of the lack of planning and commitment from yours truly.

We had crossed two years of this conversation in the middle of all this non-drama. Last year, we had a special post in which I had actually written the post by hand, and posted it on the blog by uploading the photos. This year, ZILCH. Sorry, but I have always been bad with regards to anniversaries. [I hope you read the last statement Ammu, cos that is going to be my defense in all the fights we are going to have in the future. You were forewarned.]

I think I'll just go ahead with today's blog now. The origin of this thought flow goes back two weeks. We tried to ride our luck on our way back home from Kochi, by taking a general ticket, and converting it into sleeper or AC, once we were onboard. To say that the plan backfired would be an understatement. We had discounted the fact that it was the culmination of a three day weekend. The train was packed to the rafters. I counted [I had the time you see] 176 people in one coach. And that was the case of a reserved sleeper coach. I don't even want to imagine the count in an unreserved one.

I had actually kept my SMARTPHONE to full charge so that I won't be bored through the five hour journey. I had kept enough video content to keep me engaged, when I felt bored of hearing the music or of playing the indulging games. And by God, was I wrong. The "5 things" for this week will be on the same.

***

1. I wish my SMARTPHONE could become a bag of chips.

I had the audacity to believe that I'll get a seat. So much so that I declined the offer to have lunch at home, and packed everything to have after getting seated in the train. That parcel was still untouched when I reached back home.

2. I wish my SMARTPHONE could become a bottle of water. 

Because of the huge rush, the Pantry car people found it tough to move inside the compartments. The result was that we were cut off of our valuable supplies of snacks and drinks.

3. I wish my SMARTPHONE could become a chair.

Again, because of the huge rush, I couldn't find a seat, and had to stand on my two legs all the way.

4. I wish my SMARTPHONE could become a fan.

Standing in a crowd, with no food, no water, suffocation starts to settle in. It is then that you wish you had some fresh air come in and punch you right in the face.

***

TIP - In such suffocating circumstances, it would be wise to spend some time inside the toilet in the train. One, the person per square feet drops to a very low value once you are inside. Two, the window can be nudged open enough to let in a drought, which is refreshing to say the least. Three, make sure you get out before the train stops at the next station, cos the lack of air flow is going to make the stench unable to bear.

NOTE - Even though the evidence points to the contrary, this TIP IS NOT THE RESULT of the author spending thirty odd minutes inside the train's lavatory.

***

5. I wish my SMARTPHONE could become a SMARTPHONE again.

Last weekend, I was on my way from Trivandrum to Kochi [yeah I do this travel thingy a lot these days]. A blue spot appeared on my phone. I let it slide thinking that it was my pen's ink. I checked an hour later. There were more spots. It covered the whole screen. Then it changed to a mossy green colour. Then everything went black. And so now, my SMARTPHONE is still smart, but is not able to show me how smart it actually is.

***

So, as I trudge towards the second week of leaving a SMARTPHONE less life, I would like you to realize that life without a SMARTPHONE is possib........ BAAAAAAH.. I WANT MY SMARTPHONE BACK.....

***

So, that's all for this week then.

Have a great weekend!!

'til next week.

Meh 2?? (5 things - Week 105)

What is the biggest mistake you have ever made in your life?? If the answer to that question comes to your mind easily, then we'll have to infer that you've been scarred for life. If the answer requires some serious chin scratching, then either you've never been reasonably disappointed, or you have been done the wrong way, way too many times.

It's not normal to think about the dark side when you are standing, basking in the sun in the middle of a park in Spring, but I've never assured you of sticking to what may be called the generally accepted levels of sanity. At least, you have to remember that I am still the owner of the now dormant blog, "The pasture of lunacy".

So, what shall we do for the "5 things" tonight?? If you are thinking that I'm going to do a Chetan Bhagat and list out the "5 mistakes of my life" through a third person narrative of an analogous protagonist, then you are sadly mistaken. It's not that I don't want to, but I'm still compiling the list. And yes, I'll let you know once I finish.

I've this habit of cooking up one liners in my spare time. One liners which generally are private, either because of their perverted nature or their intended target. I have claimed that they are original in any respect. If I had to give a reason for the inherent plagiarism, then it would be similar to the reply given by the music directors who get caught -

"There are only 26 letters in the alphabet, and hence there is a limit to the number of meaningfully permissible permutations and combinations - however large a number it may be. So, there is always a probability that what Mr.X says is in someways similar to what Mr.Y said."

***

1. Let's begin quite unceremoniously. If you are ever on a bus/train, and are lucky enough to choose between side seats on the opposite end of the aisle, always co relate the position of the sun and the direction of travel to minimize the sun burn. It's not pretty when you are sitting in the sun, wishing you had chosen the right option.

2. How about another free advice regarding bus journey?? Never chose a seat near to or on top of the wheel, especially if you are traveling inside Kerala. Well you could, but only if you want to know how a  throughly shaken soda can feels like.

3. Let's go airborne for this one. If you are planning to travel by air on a Sunday or a Monday, you would be a brave soul to chose Air India. The reason for my supposedly pessimistic opinion can be found in my last post.

4. Shall we move to the seas for a change?? I'm pretty sure you won't mind as you are hardly in a mood to participate actively. So I might as well decide for you. If you plan to go to Lakshadweep, let it be made known to you that there are only very few vessels ferrying passengers and cargo to and fro from the mainland.

5. We've covered land, air and seas. Wonder where we could go next?? Space is an option. But we'll refrain from deliberately discussing it in order to wait for an opportunity to experience it first hand.

***

Meh 2 only because I'm not sure if I've used Meh before.

***

This epilogue has got nothing to do with whatever has been written above. This is all but a genuine doubt from yours truly. Today I was asked by a friend, who was here in Thiruvananthapuram on deputation, to suggest a place for him to meet up with some other friends. All I could answer was the Napier Museum garden, which he said was the most popular answer to that question. Hence, it is also the most stale answer. I would love to hear suggestion from my fellow City-zens. Please feel free to disturb me with your answers.

***

So, that's all for this week then.

Have a great weekend!!

'til next week.

Life After You Tie The Knot (5 things - Week 104)

And finally, here with today's conversation is the Mrs herself. Enjoy...

***

28 days since I became Mrs.Harisankar. I know 28 days are not enough to judge a long term commitment, but here are the nuggets I've been able to forage.

***

1. You will look at world differently

For some people, being married doesn't substantially change things. But to me, it makes things different because it's a highly public act of faith, hope, and optimism. Most of the time, we keep our hopes and dreams tucked safely out of sight, but marriage puts them on display. And that mere act turns the relationship into something that others - your friends, your family - have a stake in. You have a standard to live up to for the rest of your lives, but you've also got all these other people cheering you on and help you to hit the mark.

2. The world looks at you differently.

  

Well if you have ever gone out for a date in India, you would have experienced those uncomfortable stares from the self declared moral police. A wedding ring, a dot of vermilion on your forehead and that sacred thread around your neck suddenly changes the whole story. Those meaningful stares suddenly turn into respectful smiles. Out of the blue, you will be treated as a respectable component of the society - may be because you are capable of handling a relationship which requires a certain level of responsibility and commitment, or maybe because they realize you are following the conventions.

3. Changes within

It doesn't matter how long you have known each other ,how long you were dating, people will always change, some for the better ,some for the worse. 28 days are very less time to say whether we have changed or not. I  hope we will remain same and I could say the same even after 10 years. But I am sure about one thing, I love him more and more with each passing day.When you get married to a particular person, you have altered your relationship to that person. Responsibilities,compromises,expectations all will change the way you look at life. That doesnt mean that marriage is a prison. From the day you get married, you are part of a two member club. You will always have some one to share everything with. Someone to support you,which makes life worth living.

4. Your two biggest enemies.

Your two biggest enemies in this new and improved form of relationship will be his greatest passion and his favorite pass time. In my case, it is the football club Arsenal and his insistence in watching TV all the time.

5. Unrealistic expectations.

Like this blog!!!.You would think after 28 days you are capable of delivering 5 things that will change after marriage. Nope. It is a life long journey, and I have signed a contract that I will tolerate him at least for the next 50 years. We have just started out, a lot more to experience, a lot more memories to make.

***

Let me just conclude with this.

"I knew the second I met you that there was something about you I needed. Turns out it wasn't something about you at all. It was just you."

***

So, that's all for this week then.

Have a great weekend!!

'til next week.

You've got an hour... (5 things - Week 103)

That’s right. It has come down to this. The conversation which was weekly is on the verge of becoming a fortnightly. There are some changes in life you can’t resist, but I hope this is one I have the strength to wage a successful battle against.

As has been the content of our deliberation over the past few weeks, we'll continue on the topic of the changes I've seen effected on my life after marriage. One interesting fact is that I seem to misplace an hour or two every day. For the love of God, I can't remember where I'm loosing them.

This is how my typical days used to go. I wake up at around 8; get ready and reach office by 9.30; spend the day doing whatever I supposed to be doing; leave by 7; reach home by 7.30; rest for an hour; watch some random TV show; have dinner by 10pm; then start calling her, ending the conversation as we drift off to sleep around 1am.

Nowadays, everything upto reaching home at 7.30 remains the same; but after that it's blur. If I had one thing I wanted to change about myself, it was that I was inherently lazy. Take a typical bachelor day Saturday for example. I would laze around at home all day - watching the weekend football.

Today. Well, today I was at office till 3pm; came back; went to the Napier museum; then to the beach; traveled another 30 odd kms before reaching back home. That's what she has me doing now - making me come out of my shell. And I don't mind loosing my time over her.

Now, what shall we do for the week then. How about a recap of the major events from the past two weeks??

***

1. Kurumesherry

That's the place from where she is from. And as a part of our custom the 'virunnu', we visited this green lush land, not too far away from the city. And it was an incredible experience for me. After spending the better part of the past 15 years in cities, it was a chance for me to unwind in a different environment. The place and the people have me en rapt, and looking forward to my next trip this week.

2. Goa

If you the kind to label things, you might have called it the honeymoon; but call it whatever you may, we made a trip to Goa, much to the bemusement of even my close friends. They were so surprised by the choice of location that two of them actually called me up, just to confirm that I wasn't playing a prank.

3. Goan Beaches

Why would I give Goan beaches a special mention? Well, it was just an awesome experience. We visited a few beaches, and each had its own unique flavor to offer. A very good part of our trip.

4. Air India

Now, comes the worst part. What are you supposed to do if the Airline says that your flight out from destination is 5 hours late, which makes you miss a connection flight from the same carrier? What will you say if the same carrier says that it can't do anything, that it doesn't have any other south bound flight, will take you further north of your home, asks you to stay for one day longer so that it can fly you home the next day without even giving a hint of providing accommodation? What will you do if the only viable option they give is a full refund on cancellation? Will you take a taxi overnight to Mangalore 380km away, stay there for one day costing you one day's leave, catch a bus, supposed to arrive at 8.30am in the morning in your city, but reaches late? 

I guess I won't have to say which airline I will always avoid in the future.

5. Watching football

I wrote this whole thing watching Arsenal beat Burnley in the Barclays Premier League to extend their winning stretch to eight games.

I guess, somethings will never change.

***

***

So, that's all for this week then.

Have a great weekend!!

'til next week.

5 things to expect from your wedding [Groom’s Version] One (5 things - Week 102)

I don’t know why they call it a ‘sheepish’ smile. I mean, has anyone seen a sheep actually smile? And more importantly, why would a sheep smile? For the general betterment, I would stop there with that weird question. There’s going to be a lot more weird stuff coming soon after for us to be burdened by the intricacies of a smiling sheep.

Now, the whole point of bringing the sheepish smile into our conversation was to define what has been one of the more popular smiles to adorn our faces this week. We started smiling 7 days ago, and through the aches and groans, we are still going strong - we are still smiling.

She is of the opinion that we concentrated on the lips and teeth than the faces and eyes at our wedding and at our reception. To reciprocate in kind was our motto. We would stand there - feeling numb in our legs and mind, with a stomach crying out loud for a tiny morsel of food, shoulders drooped, eyes half closed – almost zombie like. And then when a guest made an entrance to the stage left, we were transformed, as if by magic - a glow in our eyes, a spring in our steps and an appropriate smile adorning our lips.

Over the course of the past 7 days, we have learnt jointly as well as individually many things which we feel we should share with the wider audience. Of course, only our close friends will be privy to the nuances that make a marriage work, but that doesn’t mean that the offering we have for you is any less valuable.

As a special, since we missed our conversation last week, and since we are on the cusp of two years of being in a conversation, you’ll have a double header this week. The general heading is ‘5 things to expect from your wedding’, but with two sets – one from the Groom’s side, one from the Bride’s side.

Shall we begin then??

***

5 things to expect from your wedding [Groom’s Version]

1. Angry photographers

It might be because of having to constantly convince you to smile in a better manner; it might be because they are getting an earful from us and our relatives; or it might just be the summer heat; but whatever it is, there is a high chance that the photographers leave the premises angry at you – and you can’t blame them really. They were just trying hard to do their job that you are paying them for.

2. Insomnia

As the date of your wedding draws close, you’ll realize that sleep is a rare commodity. Over the three days of main functions that we have had, I got around 12 hours of sleep. That is a very, very, VERY short span of time to rest your aching limbs and hyper heart.

3. Gaseous build up

If you thought that sleep deprivation was the only issue you were going to have, you were terribly mistaken – like us. The irregular sleep pattern is made to look like a regular thing by the timings at which we have food. And the abnormality in food timings make for wonderful entertainment in the form of gaseous build up and acidity.

4. The tasteless feast

Which bring us to the actual act of consuming the feast made available for your wedding. As someone had pointed out to me before the wedding, you can seldom enjoy the food at your own wedding. When you are placed at the table after a barrage of ceremonies, guests and cameras, the last thing on your mind is trying to eat the delicacies while enjoying their taste. So, when our friends and relatives pour praises on the ‘payasams’, we are absolutely clueless.

5. Happiness

In middle of all this chaos, in the midst of all the ceremonies and customs, when you are not thinking about whether your ‘mundu’ is coming loose again, when you are given a welcome break from the invited crowd, when you have a moment to share with the other – all alone in the middle of the general public; you’ll look into her eyes and you’ll realize that you just married her. That’s when you will feel a certain kind of happiness – a happiness which I hope everyone of you will realize one day.

One such moment of happiness

***

Well, both you as well as myself will have to wait for the ‘5 things to expect on your wedding’ from the Bride’s side. I’ll make sure that she gets working on it, as soon as she possibly can.

***

I know one week ain’t a lot of time to judge or evaluate a lifelong commitment, but being married to Ammu has been more than anything I expected it to be. Thank you for being the usual goodness and the necessary evil in my life [which makes me happy indirectly, by making me do stuff, which I probably should do, but hate doing].

***

So, that's all for this week then.

Have a great weekend!!

'til next week.

So, what's the plan?? (5 things - Week 101)

"So, what are you planning to write the blog next week?" I could imagine a mischievous smile playing hide and seek on her face from my bed, 250km away from where she was laying. 

Even before the time there was anything serious between us, the topics of the weekly conversations here were useful to us in providing content for the jibber-jabber that we used to do. And even though she hates to admit it, she loves it when I leave references to her in here. 

"So, when are you planning to write the blog next week?" Now, I didn't have to imagine anything. The mischievous smile was making its presence known in her giggly voice. 

The question of 'when' is important as I usually write these on Saturdays, and next Saturday I would be busy marrying her. Even though the actual act of marriage takes less than 10 minutes, the pre-marriage ceremonies, the post-marriage photo sessions, and the 250km trek from Aluva to Thiruvananthapuram would consume our time up until 9pm.

So, the question of 'when' I'm going to write for you next week is a pressing one. That's not to say that the question of 'what' is any less important. Anyways, I can put thinking about that off until next week at least.

When I asked her about what I should write next with regards to us, she said that I had never written about her. When I contested that statement, she made me realize that I usually write about us, rather than her; about our complimenting relation rather than our individual strengths. That's was a 'glass-shattering' moment for me.

For those among you unwise to the terms coined in the 'How I met your Mother' series, 'glass-shattering' is used to define those moments when you realize a pattern, which your brain refused to decipher from the picture till then.

So, guess what I'm going to do. I'm going to note down five such 'glass-shattering' moments we have had in our short time together - moments which made me realize that this is the woman for me.

***

1. Clone

Have you ever met someone whom you think as your clone? Well, I'm marrying mine next Saturday. At the end of our long discussion during our lab hour about what we wanted to do with our lives, what our definition of happiness meant, about what a family means, I was wondering whether she was fooling me by stating exactly what I wanted her to say. To tell the truth, for the love of God, I still don't know how she keeps doing that. And in these ways, we found love.

If you are wondering what goes on in my head when she does that, I recommend you watch the following video from 3m32s.

2. Attitude

Just having the same ideals doesn't mean that the other is your clone, you also have to determine how they respond to situations. For eg, when she responded to a certain undisclosable situation at our class, there was a I realized that our attitudes match too. We prefer real respect to respecting people only in front of them. In such little things, we found love.

3. Aptitude

Not something which she would like me sharing over here. How do I put it nicely, well her aptitude stinks. Not that she absolutely doesn't know anything in mathematical sorcery, but that she somehow or the other contrives to make sure that she always falls short of the cutoff in exams by the smallest of margins. If I may so, she's the exact opposite of me in this respect. As I'm the exact opposite of hers in many respects. And we make it a point to help the other in the areas they are weak. And in this differences, we found love.

4. Little things

I gifted her a letter for the first birthday she had since we met. You would expect a normal girl to flip out, but she didn't. That's when I realized that she's special. The contents of the letter or the subsequent gifts are to remain confidential, but just know that in these small things we find love.

5. Love

I always doubted the possibility of someone loving me as much as she does. Basically because of my sporadic bursts of immature ways and inappropriate behaviors. But when I realized that she found out all that has to be found out about me, and still loved me, maybe even more than she actually did, I realized that she is THE ONE for me.

***

Just in case you are wondering what my reply was to the original question, I spoke thus.

"Well, there's a lot of time on our hands when we are on the drive back home after our marriage. We would have to find something to keep ourselves busy na."

I LOVE YOU

***

So, that's all for this week then.

Have a great weekend!!

'til next week.

Ammu, Amma, Ammumma (5 things - Week 100)

It's mostly ironic that I had to be reminded that I was supposed to write a blog with this title for this week by one appearing in the title. This title and its debut today was finalized once I found its lyrical nature back in October or so. While pondering about writing about the three most important women in my life, I felt that March 8th is as good as it gets.

And the title seemingly wrote itself.  Ammu is what she's being called; Amma and Ammumma is what I call the other two. There was a fleeting mention of this blog in my tribute to my grandmother two weeks back. Whenever I thought of this blog, I thought of being able to tell all three that I wrote about them, as soon as I posted it. I guess I can do only two thirds of that now.

But, if my memory serves right, and I'm going to blindly believe it to be correct for just this moment, I told my grandmother in October that I was going to write a blog like this, and about its sing-song title. So, I'll always have that.

If still someone needs an introduction to these three women, Ammu is THE ONE I'm going to be married to in two weeks times; Amma is my mother, who made me the man I'm over more than two decades; and Ammumma is my grandmother, who unfortunately is not with us anymore.

They must have had come together in close vicinity on our engagement day, but the only day I remember when these three women actually conversed was when my mother brought my grandmother to meet her outside Technopark Campus. Ammumma was not confident in her health to go to Aluva to meet Ammu during the official Pennukannal [the first time the guy meets the girl]. And she used to joke that she made me sit back at home with her, while my Pennukannal was taking place without my presence.

I am at a loss of words to describe to you these three women. Each strong and soft, each with a determination unmatched, each willing to make sacrifices for the greater good, each unique in their own way, while being the same. They were born three decades apart, each in a different era, brought up under different set of rules, but each of them have gone on to become the best they could be.

And in their way to achieving personal perfection, they have helped me become a better man. And how they did becomes the '5 things' for this week. Shall we begin then??

***

1. History lessons with Ammumma

Over the course of our lives, but mostly over the past year, as we spent time on our daily hour of chitchat, she would explain to me her childhood. About the practices in that time, about the games she used to play, about how the society was, how she came from her town to here, about getting gifts from the Travancore king, etc etc. It was fun.

2. Life lessons with Amma

It is quite simple according to her really. Since she has had the opportunity to have more Onam feasts than me [meaning she's way older than me], she knows more than me. And since it would be dumb for me to wait that long to learn that much, she thinks it is much more simpler to just teach me these life lessons directly.

3. Miscellaneous lessons with Amma

From teaching me how to write the letter 'B' in the correct manner to how to behave, she has been on this march to make a me a better man for the woman who'll inherit me. And that's who we are going to talk about next.

4. Fighting lessons with Ammu

Despite my meek and withdrawn exterior, I've fought with many people. But I like fighting with Ammu more than any of the other fights I've had. It is in the worst moments of these fights - when she really gets on my nerves - that I realize how much I love her. And just for that fact, I don't mind having the odd fight with her here and then.

5. Changing lessons with Ammu

No. Not that kind of changing. This is the journey that I have embarked on with her, with her making me a better man every day. If you had known me a year ago, and if you know me today, then you would know that I'm right.

***

***

In light of the occasion, the topic and the situation, it is hard for me to not voice my opinion on the current comments unfurling both online and offline. What these people say, without much forethought I hope, is nothing short of despicable in nature. The narrow, convoluted mind of the nation's prominent faces will only demean the Nation's pride.

One essential feature of a person's character is to take a step back, look at their own actions objectively. Not only that, there should also be a will to accept the error and make it right. As a nation, I feel we are lacking in both these traits. Instead of looking for the cause, we are just making hue and cry over the results.

As much has already been written on this topic by many a skilled hands over the past week, I'll keep my words to a minimum. Maybe I'll collect my thoughts and get back to you later. For now, I wish every single women out there the strength to be who they want to be. I wish them a Happy, Safe Women's Day.

***

So, that's all for this week then.

Have a great weekend!!

'til next week.

Invitation (5 things - Week 99)

The way to my home is pretty much easy to understand. Arrive at Manacaud junction from the East fort side. You'll see two ways to go. Choosing right will lead you to the breeches and babes of Kovalam. As you are not interested in either right now, don't choose that. Choosing left will leave you at the gates of Attukkal temple, which holds the record of having the biggest *$1%%3#& of women (which will be rewritten next Thursday on the next pongala). As you are not feeling that spiritual right now, don't choose that path too.

Now, you are stuck at the junction, and I can hear you asking me "Where to go??". Now when I finish my next sentence you'll see a road, which your brain had chosen to ignore till now. In between these two paths, there's a third one, set a little to the inside from the junction, trying its best not to be conspicuous.

And there is this S shaped curve on this road towards my home. Travel 200 meters from that curve and you will be welcome to our humble abode. And to tell you the truth, this will always be one of those curves which will always capture my attention. Whether it is due to its curviness or whether it's due to the fact that having that curve in my ken implies that I'm almost home, it brings me a lot of happiness.

And I always have this crazy habit of imagining myself at this curve on my way home from somewhere I dream to reach. When I went to CET, I dreamt of walking back home after my first day of college. When I got a job, I visualized coming back home with my first salary. When I wanted to buy the bike, I fantasized about riding it home from the showroom.

As you can see, as is preached by preachers, I visualize the end point of my dream to motivate me to 

achieve it. And I'm sure, most of you do the same.

And recently, I'm visualizing a new vision - a real treat of a vision at that too. The day is March 21st of this year. The time is nearing 9 pm. One or two stray dogs are there on the curve. So is a car. I'm inside it, and beside me is my wife.

Aah yes.. You have been taken on this journey by me to invite you all for our wedding on the 21st of March between 11.50 and 12.30 at Green park Auditorium, Aluva. And you are also welcome to join us at the RDR Auditorium, Edapazhinji, Trivandrum on 22nd March for an informal evening.

***

***

We all know what everyone wants to do after they get married. For the five things for this week, let me take you through a list of things I wish I could get done before the big day.

***

1. Get a good night's sleep.

The deputation work, though providing a variety, imposes itself on your daily routine, heavily taxing the sleeping hours.

2. Complete the invitations

There are about a million invitations to be handed out over the next few weeks, and I hope I do get them across to everyone.

3. Get the house in order

After the recent 'slight' modifications that the house has been been through, I want nothing more than to have some discipline of any sort here. Right now, everything is anywhere.

4. Have a home cooked special lunch made by my mom

It's kind of funny, but I haven't had the said kind of lunch in 2015, and we are into the third month. Come to think of it, it is more sad than funny.

5. Buy two way flight tickets for all my friends.

When you are talking about the impossible and the improbable, why not go all in, right. ;)

***

So, that's all for this week then.

Have a great weekend!!

'til next week.